


Back in the Saddle

by SunriseRose1023



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Anxiety, Community: spn_reversebang, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gun Violence, Hospitalization, Lawyer Jared, M/M, Minor Violence, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Content, Threats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 44,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5897014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunriseRose1023/pseuds/SunriseRose1023
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared Padalecki has accomplished everything he set out to do. He's a high-profile lawyer in Boston, winning case after case, and he's got a beautiful fiance. When one case turns deadly, Jared takes a step back, into his past, and goes to visit a friend in Texas. What Jared doesn't know is that his past is there, alive and well, in the one man he's never been able to forgive himself for letting go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All right, this is my entry for the 2016 LJ Reversebang. This story is based on an incredible piece of art, created by the amazing txdevilorangel. We decided to make the art an RPF piece, so I'd like to make the disclaimer that only the actor's likenesses are used in this story. We also decided to make this an AU, and some of the actors are used as other people. For example, Jared's family. His parents are Jim Beaver and Samantha Ferris, and his brother is Matt Cohen. Just wanted to give you guys a head's up, so you're not too confused when reading.
> 
> That being said, please enjoy! Many thanks to the mods over at LJ for putting on such a fun challenge. I can't wait until next time! And to txdevilorangel, you're amazing. I had the best time working with you! I hope you like this story.

_Back in the Saddle_

**ONE**

“Honey?”

Jared turned back, smiling when he saw Genevieve standing at the doorway in a beautiful black dress. Her dark hair hung around her shoulders, and when she lifted her hand to brush her fingers through her hair, the diamond in her ring caught the light, giving off a sparkle. She saw him smiling and smiled back at him, walking over, heels clicking on the hardwood floor of the bedroom.

“Let me help with your tie.”

Jared nodded. He couldn’t tie a tie for anything. If someone held a gun to his head and forced him to tie a tie, he’d just have to take the bullet. 

He glanced down, seeing Genevieve standing there with one eyebrow raised, and Jared laughed to himself. He walked over and sat on the bed, giving a better height for her to work with. It struck him as hilarious, the fact that he was—literally—a foot taller than she was. Even in the heels she was currently wearing, her head barely reached his shoulder.

“There.”

Jared stood up again, walking to the mirror and smoothing out his tie.

“Thanks, G.”  
“Oh, no problem. Just doing my wifely duty, you know.”

Jared snorted.

“In that case, go make me a sandwich.”

Genevieve laughed out loud, shaking her head, plump lips dropped open in an “O.”

“I cannot believe you just pulled the sandwich card.”  
“Isn’t that what husbands do?”

Genevieve rolled her dark eyes, shaking her head as she looked down, smoothing out her dress.

“Besides, we have no time for a sandwich. The car will be here in less than five minutes, and if we don’t eat at the banquet, your mother will probably have a coronary.”

Jared nodded.

“You’re probably right.”  
“I know I am. Now, come on.”

Jared followed behind her, watching as she gracefully made her way down the stairs. Everything Genevieve did seemed graceful, whether it be walking down a staircase or typing up a report in the office. She never did anything halfway, and was completely by-the-book. There was a sadness in her dark eyes, and things she still hadn’t told Jared, even after working together for eight years and … being together for more than three. 

“Jared?”

He blinked as he looked over, watching Genevieve slide her coat over her shoulders, reaching behind to pull her hair from the neck and fluff it out. He blinked again, and she let her arms fall.

“Are you all right? You seem a little out of it tonight.”

Jared swallowed, then smiled.

“Just a little stressed.”

Genevieve gave him a knowing smile, then walked to him, handing him his coat.

“Leave the case behind for now. Let’s just enjoy the night. Oh, and if your mother asks, I chose the china and the tablecloths for the reception earlier today.”  
“Isn’t that something you should tell her?”  
“Oh, I will, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m not involving you in the planning.”  
“G, I really don’t give a damn about the planning. You know that _and_ my mother knows that. We could get tablecloths from the Dollar Tree—or not have a tablecloth at all—and I’d be just fine.”

Genevieve went up on her tiptoes to clap a hand over Jared’s mouth.

“Do _not_ mention anything involving the Dollar Tree around your mother. Blasphemy at its highest.”

Jared laughed, shaking his head and holding up his hands. A car horn beeped just outside, and Genevieve nodded.

“Right on time. Put your coat on, and leave the talking to me. Especially around your mother.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Genevieve sat at the vanity—yes, there was an honest-to-God, old-fashioned _vanity_ in the bedroom—brushing her hair, watching Jared in the mirror. He caught her looking every now and then, but she’d look away before he could say anything. So, he’d just decided to let her stare.

He was currently lying on his back, wearing only his favorite dark blue flannel pajama pants. Genevieve was wearing a flannel pajama set, because Jared liked to keep it like the arctic in the bedroom. 

He’d been trying to read some book, but after staring at the same page for twenty minutes and still having no clue as to what he was reading, Jared gave up and set the book on his bedside table. He was staring at the ceiling when Genevieve finally put her hairbrush down. She stood up, twisting her hands together, then let out a sigh.

“Jared?”

He looked over to her, and she sighed.

“What’s going on with you?”

He shook his head, eyebrows drawing together, and Genevieve sighed as she walked over and climbed into the big bed. She pulled back the heavy comforter she had to sleep with so she wouldn’t freeze to death, then snuggled down to lay on her side under the covers, propping her head up on her hand. 

“You barely said a word all night. You mom definitely noticed, and even your brother said something to me.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. So what’s going on with you?”

Jared sighed, pushing a hand through his hair.

“I just feel like … like everything’s kind of piling up.”  
“Jare—”  
“No, listen.”

Jared sat up, tucking his bare feet under the covers.

“The Pellegrino case is going to court this week. I’ve got to win it, G, and if I don’t … If Pellegrino stops bringing us cases, then that’s it. The firm could go under.”  
“Honey, you’re not going to lose your job over one case.”

Jared let out a laugh, shaking his head. 

“You don’t know that.”  
“Yes, I do. I work right there with you. I might not be a big, bad lawyer, but I still see what’s going on and I know all the details.”

Jared sighed, pushing his hand through his hair again.

“I know. And I’m sorry for insinuating that you’re less than the amazing woman you are.”

Genevieve rolled her eyes, and Jared smiled. 

“Your dad isn’t going to fire you just because you lose a case. And the case hasn’t even started yet, so don’t put the cart before the horse. Or … whatever.”

Jared smiled, and Genevieve reached over, tapping him on the nose. 

“Relax. Get some sleep. And whatever happens tomorrow happens.”

She rubbed her hands together and made a face.

“That’s what I forgot.”

She groaned before she climbed out of the bed again, walking over to the vanity and picking up a bottle of lotion. She pumped some into her hands and slowly rubbed them together. Jared ran his tongue along his teeth, then spoke softly.

“You know what day it is?”

Genevieve thought for a second, then scrunched up her nose.

“Thursday?”  
“No, the date.”

She stepped over to the table on her side of the bed and bent to look at the daily calendar she kept beside her phone charger.

“January twenty-fourth.”

Jared nodded, feeling the twinge in his heart. Genevieve was quiet for a moment as she thought, then she shook her head.

“It’s not your birthday. It’s not an important anniversary of something.”

She lifted her head, dark eyes locked on him.

“What’s so special about today?”

Jared swallowed, fighting and somehow managing to keep his tears at bay. He coughed and shook his head, giving her a smile.

“Nothing. It’s just another day. Let’s go to bed.”  
“Jared—“

He rolled over, pulling the thin blanket up around him, putting his back to Genevieve. She sighed, putting the lotion back on her vanity and flipping the lights off. She shivered as she climbed back into bed, pulling the covers up around her neck.

*-*-*-*-*-*

_Ten Years Earlier_

“Wake up! Wake up now!”  
“I will punch you in your fucking face. Get the hell off of me and leave me alone.”  
“But it’s your birthday! Jen, you can’t be such a grouch on your birthday!”  
“Watch me.”

Jared laughed. He was sitting on Jensen’s ass, long, gangly legs on either side of Jensen’s hips. He leaned over, laying his hands on the covers on either side of Jensen’s warm, sleepy body. He peppered gentle kisses along Jensen’s shoulders, but when he received only a quiet, sleep-filled grunt in reply, Jared pulled his hands in, digging his fingers into Jensen’s sides.

“Son of a bitch! Stop it!”

Jared laughed as Jensen flailed around, fighting Jared’s insistent hands. Jensen had always been sneaky, though, and Jared soon found himself on his back, staring up at green eyes that were lit with anger and grumpiness. A smile slowly spread across Jared’s face, and he reached up, cupping Jensen’s cheeks in his hands.

“Happy birthday, Jen.”

Jensen shook his head, but couldn’t fight the smile that spread over his face.

“You’re such a little bitch, Jay.”  
“I didn’t want you to sleep the day away. You big jerk.”

Jensen lowered himself down until his lips met Jared’s. The kiss quickly shifted from the easy peck Jensen had intended to something much deeper, and when Jensen pulled back, Jared was gasping for breath. His eyes, forever changing colors like a kaleidoscope, had only a thin ring of dark blue around a dilated pupil, and Jensen licked his lips. Jared let out a quiet groan, bucking his hips up, making them collide with Jensen’s. Jensen closed his eyes, then looked down.

“We don’t—“

Jared shuddered and moaned as Jensen rolled his hips, squeezing his eyes shut. Jensen chuckled to himself, then spoke softly.

“What was that, baby?”

Jared blinked his eyes open, locking onto Jensen’s.

“We don’t have any—anywhere to be for … for hours.”  
“Thank God.”

Jared let out a laugh, but it quickly shifted into a moan as Jensen leaned down to latch his mouth onto Jared’s neck. Jared nodded and sighed, lifting a hand to push through Jensen’s hair. As Jensen’s hands slid down his body, Jared leaned his head back onto the soft pillows that smelled like Jensen.

“I love January. Oh god. Right there. _Jen_.”


	2. Chapter 2

**TWO**

Jared stood at the window in his office, one hand on the cool glass, the other holding a warm cup of coffee. He was absentmindedly blowing on the coffee while watching the cars that were gridlocked on the street below. He swallowed around a dry throat, and the coffee in the cup sloshed just a bit, landing some of the slightly cooled, yet still hot liquid onto his wrist. Jared looked down at it, then turned and set the cup on his desk, reaching for a tissue from the box of Kleenex Genevieve had placed on the edge of his desk a few weeks ago when he’d had a cold.

“Dad.”

Jared straightened up, and his father waved a hand at him.

“Would you relax?”

Jared sighed, sitting down in his desk chair and putting his head in his hands. He let out a laugh, then shook his head. He picked his head up and Jim actually took a step back when he saw Jared’s face.

“Dad, I … I can’t do this. I don’t think I can do this.”  
“Son, calm down. Take a breath.”

Jared closed his eyes as Jim laid a hand on his shoulder.

“You’ve given me your notes, and they are superb, Jared. Your brother thinks the same thing. You have this, son. No doubt in my mind.”

Jared lifted his head, letting out a ragged breath.

“You think so?”  
“I know so. But you’ve got to stop letting it get to you like this. You’re going to give yourself an ulcer. Trust me, I know.”

Jared nodded, and Jim gave his shoulder a pat.

“All right. Cars are here to take us to the prison, and then to the courthouse. Take a few deep breaths. You’ll be just fine.”

_”Just breathe, Jay. You got this, baby.”_

Jared closed his eyes, exhaling slowly, listening to his father’s retreating footsteps. After a long minute, stomach still tied in knots, Jared blinked open his eyes to see Genevieve leaning against the doorframe, a soft smile on her plump lips. She was dressed demurely, hair twisted up with just a few pieces falling around her face. She looked professional, the way she should as she’d be sitting beside Jared at the trial, on the other side of his client, passing Jared notes and giving Mark subtle tips on how to play the jury. 

She stepped into the office and straightened her jacket.

“You’ve got to calm down. Your face is giving everything away right now.”

Jared sighed, putting his head in his hands.

“This is going to be a hell of a trial, G.”  
“I know. But it will be over soon.”  
“And then the wedding will be here.”  
“Please, try and contain your excitement.”

Jared closed his eyes, and Genevieve walked around his desk, picking up his briefcase and his coat. She set them on the desk, then laid her hands on Jared’s shoulders, gently massaging. 

“You know this case forwards and backwards. You’ve been working on it for weeks now. You know the evidence, you know the witnesses. You know how to work the jury, and you’ve got the puppy dog eyes that will win us this case.”

Jared snorted, and Genevieve leaned over, kissing him on the cheek.

“Come on. The car’s outside, and the guards are bringing Mark out of his cell. We’ll be there in fifteen, at the courthouse in twenty more, and the trial will start within that hour. Let’s go.”

Jared slid his coat over his shoulders, foregoing the scarf he’d worn that morning. He picked up his cup of now-lukewarm coffee and downed it, grimacing at the taste as he picked up his briefcase. He walked to Genevieve and picked up her hand, and the two of them walked out of the office building, down to the car that idled by the curb.

*-*-*-*-*-*

The trial was brutal. Evidence was presented for nearly a whole week, before witnesses could even be called. Of course, the snowstorm that hit Massachusetts was partly to blame for that, and ended up delaying the trial by an entire week. Witness after witness, expert after expert, sat in the chair and told the truth about what they knew, what they saw, what their research and examinations had shown. Jared fought harder than he ever had before, for nearly a solid month, and actually felt relieved when he sat down after giving his closing remarks, before the jury left to deliberate.

They only deliberated for thirty minutes before handing down a guilty verdict.


	3. Chapter 3

**THREE**

Jared’s mother insists on the entire family getting together for the holidays. Not just the big ones, like Mother’s Day or Thanksgiving or Christmas, but every single one. And if he was to try to skip out, there would be absolute hell to pay.

So, he was sitting beside Genevieve at their belated Valentine’s Day get-together, which had been postponed during the trial, doing his best not to gulp down the wine his mother had chosen for the dinner. His brother was there with his wife, but their kids were home with a sitter. Jared was proud of his mother, for only pouting a few minutes instead of all night long, which had happened more than once before. 

He wasn’t paying attention to the conversation at the table, until a sentence from the seat next to him, followed by laughter around the table stuck in his mind. 

“I’m—I’m sorry, what?”

The table went quiet, and everyone turned to Jared. Genevieve smiled, reaching over and patting his hand. 

“You with us, honey?”

Jared blinked, glancing down at the seat beside him.

“What did you just say?”

Dark eyes blinked at him, and a smile spread across Genevieve’s face. She reached up, pushing back a piece of his hair.

“Oh, Julie and I were just gabbing. Giving me some tips on what it’s like being a Mrs. Padalecki.”

Julie laughed from across the table, pushing her red hair behind her ear. She smiled, leaning over as her husband slid his arm around her, while Matt pressed a kiss to her temple. Jared blinked as he watched them, then turned to Genevieve again.

“No, I … I meant the—what you … Did you just say something about kids?”

A smile spread across Genevieve’s face.

“Well, of course. Julie was telling me about Aaron and their preschool interviews, and I was just taking some mental notes.”  
“G, we …”

Jared’s eyes widened as Genevieve’s fingernails dug into his thigh. Jim cleared his throat, and all eyes turned to the head of the table. He smiled, then gave a nod.

“Let’s get through one thing at a time here, shall we? Let’s get these two married before we start planning preschool interviews. Now, what’s for dessert, dear?”

Jared sat back, then grabbed his wine glass, draining it. He pushed his chair back and his mother called his name. He shook his head, speaking over his shoulder as he walked out of the room.

“I’m not hungry. Need some air.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared stood in the middle of the gigantic back yard, hands in his pockets, staring up at the night sky. Stars twinkled back at him, and when he saw a shooting star flash across the sky, he felt his heart give a thump.

_”Did you see that?! Jen, it was a shooting star!”  
“I saw, babe. Did you make a wish?”_

_Hazel eyes squeezed shut and Jared bit his bottom lip, smiling widely._

_“Okay, made a—”_

_Jared let out a laugh as Jensen kissed him, continuing to smile against the other boy’s lips, threading fingers through his hair. Jensen pulled back, running his thumb along Jared’s jaw, smiling at kiss-swollen lips._

_“Couldn’t help it.”  
“Ironically, that’s what I wished for.”_

_Jensen laughed._

_“You wasted a shooting star wish on a kiss?”  
“Well, not _ just _a kiss.”_

_Jared made his eyebrows bounce up and down and Jensen grabbed his hand, dragging a laughing Jared back to the car._

“Jared?”

He swallowed, glancing over his shoulder to see his brother walking his way. Jared shook his head, hearing Matt sigh as he made his way over, putting his hands in his pockets as he stood next to Jared. He glanced up the same way, and Jared glanced over and down, unable to fight a smile.

Matt was two years older than Jared, but Jared was three inches taller. That drove Matt absolutely insane when they were in high school, especially when Jared was a starter on the basketball team Matt’s senior year. He got over it as he got older, and was the first to grab Jared into a hug when Jared graduated law school. 

“Talk to me, Jare.”

Jared sighed, shaking his head again. Matt pushed a hand through his dark hair, then turned to face his brother. 

“Is this about the wedding?”  
“Not just the wedding, but it’s a part of it.”  
“Then let me take a load off your mind.”

Matt walked to stand in front of Jared, laying hands on his shoulders. 

“Don’t do it.”

Jared blew out his breath, turning away from his brother.

“Shut up.”  
“No, I’m serious. Look at what it’s doing to you.”

Jared let out a laugh.

“Matt, I’ve worked my ass off the past couple of months. I pushed myself harder than I ever have at that damn trial, and look what happened.”  
“Jare—“  
“Not to mention we’re knee-deep in wedding shit, and I’m supposed to help decide on a fucking cake topper by tomorrow, and then we’ve got some kind of fitting for something at the end of the week, and in the meantime, there’s forty-seven files on my desk that I need to go through before we have dinner with the goddamn mayor next Thursday, and—“  
“Jesus Christ, take a breath.”

Jared gasped as he bent over at the waist, putting his hands on his knees and hanging his head, and Matt patted him on the back.

“You don’t have to do all this stuff by yourself, Jare. You can delegate. Dad and I can take some of those files—“  
“I can do my job, Matt.”  
“I’m not saying you can’t. Let us help you. As for the other stuff…”

Matt shook his head as he stepped away, crossing his arms over his chest. Jared snorted to himself when he saw the muscles bulging from Matt’s shirt. The man spent too many hours in the gym, and whenever Jared said that, Matt would flex his arms and make some lewd comment that would make Jared roll his eyes. 

Jared met Matt’s eyes, and Matt sighed.

“You’re the one that came up with this crazy plan. Mom and Dad don’t care. I sure as hell don’t give a damn. The only one that has a problem with you is you.”  
“I don’t have a problem with—”  
“Are you kidding me?”

Matt let out a laugh, letting his arms fall by his sides.

“You live with, are engaged to, and are planning on marrying a woman you don’t even love!”  
“I _do_ love her.”  
“Yeah, like a little sister. You put on a good show, I’ll give you that. Pretty convincing if I hadn’t grown up around your scrawny ass.”

Jared rolled his eyes, then smiled.

“The papers buy it.”  
“Yeah, yeah. You two are the ‘It’ couple for sure. Julie can’t open up the paper without seeing your pictures plastered everywhere.”

Jared looked down as he nodded, and Matt sighed.

“But you’re not happy.”  
“I’m fine.”  
“No, you’re not. Five minutes ago, I thought your eyes were going to bug out of your head at the mention of a preschool.”

Jared looked up, holding out his hands.

“How was I supposed to react? She has never brought that subject up. Not once.”

Matt laughed to himself.

“’That subject.’ You’re so freaked out by kids that you can’t even say the word?”

Jared closed his eyes, giving a sigh.

“I don’t want kids, Matt. Not right now, especially.”  
“And not with her.”  
“I didn’t say that. Look, kids just never factored into my life plan, you know? There was no reason!”  
“And now look at the pickle you’ve got yourself into.”  
“Oh, shut up.”

Matt laughed, shaking his head. 

“It’s obvious you and Gen have some serious talking to do.”  
“No shit, Sherlock.”

Matt rolled his eyes, shoving his brother.

“Now come eat something and make your mother happy.”

Jared rolled his eyes, but followed Matt into the house.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Later that night, Jared stood at his closet, staring at the clothes on the hangers. After a few minutes of just standing there and staring, he heard Genevieve quietly make her way into the room. He swallowed, then poked his head out the closet door.

“Hey, G?”

She turned to him, smiling widely.

“Hey.”  
“Can we talk?”

The smile slid from her face, but she nodded. Jared walked out of the closet, leaning against the door frame.

“I think you know what I’m going to say.”  
“I do. I’m sorry that I kind of sprang it on you at dinner, but—“  
“You’ve never said anything about wanting kids.”

She sighed, pushing a hand through her hair.

“I used to think I didn’t want them. But the longer I’m around Julie and Aaron and the baby … I don’t know, I guess my biological clock is ticking or something.”

Jared nodded, glancing at the floor, then back to her face. She was smiling again, hands moving as she spoke.

“I know we won’t do it the old-fashioned way, but that’s fine with me. We can tell the press we’re having fertility issues or something and we can—“  
“Have a test-tube baby?”

Genevieve sighed, tilting her head.

“No, Jared. I’ll just be inseminated. You won’t even have to see me. You can sit in the hall when it happens, and then we’ll get a baby.”

Jared nodded slowly.

“So you … You didn’t think you wanted kids, yet you’ve got this all planned out?”

Genevieve blinked, then smiled.

“It’s a good idea, right?”

Jared could feel how delicate this situation was, how thin the ice suddenly seemed. He sighed, reaching up to unbutton his shirt. When he had it all unbuttoned, he slid it off his arms, turning and tossing it into his clothes basket. He put his hands on his hips as he turned back to her.

“I don’t know if I want kids, G.”

Her face fell, eyes going wide as she sat down on the bed.

“Wh—what?”  
“I never—“

Jared sighed, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Kids have never been in my plan. I never had to worry about that before, you know? Dad didn’t even bother giving me the ‘Don’t you dare knock up some girl’ speech that Matt got.”  
“Because you’re gay.”

Jared sighed again as he looked to Genevieve.

“You know that. You’ve known that ever since we met.”

She nodded her head slowly, staring at the floor. 

“So what I want doesn’t matter?”

Jared closed his eyes.

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you didn’t even talk to me, but you planned everything out. I’m not … I’m not okay with this.”  
“You don’t have to do anything, Jared. Well, except for that one thing. But it’s at the beginning, and then you don’t have to do anything at all. Your mother’s given me a list of nannies and nurses and—”  
“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Genevieve’s dark eyes were wide when Jared stepped from the closet.

“You’ve got my mother in on this?”  
“You went outside and the conversation just drifted back—”  
“G, we … I—Christ, I need some air.”

Genevieve stared at the ground as Jared walked past her, down the stairs. He grabbed a jacket by from the closet near the door, then grabbed the keys to the truck he hardly ever got to drive. He made his way to the garage, yanking open the driver’s side door and peeling out of the driveway.

*-*-*-*-*-*

The beer was cold and Jared closed his eyes as he finished off his second bottle. The bartender just raised his eyebrows, but passed Jared another bottle before he could ask for it. Jared raised it and nodded, then turned to face the dancefloor.

There wasn’t much of one, and it was sparsely populated. Jared sighed as he took another long pull from his beer, then glanced over his shoulder as a throat was cleared behind him. A smile spread across his face as he turned back towards the bar, in time to watch the blonde man motion to the bartender.

“Michelob, on his tab.”  
“I didn’t call you here to buy your drinks, asshole.”  
“You know I don’t work for free.”  
“This isn’t work, Chad. It’s friends, having a few beers.”  
“Whatever, Jare.”

Chad nodded to the bartender as he slid over the bottle, then took a sip.

“Christ, that first taste is like piss.”  
“I don’t understand why you don’t just start with a girly drink. You don’t have to prove your manhood to me.”  
“Fuck you, Padalecki, I’ll drink whatever I want.”

Jared laughed, leaning to the side when Chad shoved him. Chad took another drink of his beer, making another face, and Jared just shook his head as he turned his bottle up. Chad nodded to him.

“How many is that?”  
“This will be three.”

Chad whistled under his breath, then looked to Jared, who refused to meet his eyes.

“Oh, come on, now. What gives?”

Jared sighed, putting his bottle onto the bar. The bartender raised his eyebrows again and Jared nodded. Chad drummed his fingers on the bar, and Jared sighed again.

“I lost the Pellegrino case.”  
“I know.”

Jared glanced over and Chad shrugged his shoulders.

“So what? It’s just one case.”  
“Pellegrino, Chad. The guy brings all kinds of business in, and I let his partner go to jail?”  
“Were you on the jury? Were you the judge? I don’t think so. You were Sheppard’s lawyer, Jare. You fought, and you did a hell of a job at it.”  
“But it wasn’t good enough.”  
“So you’re going to focus on this one case and let it run your life?”

Jared nodded his thanks to the bartender as he passed over a new bottle. 

“Keys.”  
“Chad, come on.”  
“I’m not debating this. You’re set on drowning your sorrows, I’m set on not being your fucking lawyer for your DWI charge. Keys.”

Jared rolled his eyes as he dug his keys out of his pocket, and Chad whistled to the bartender, sliding Jared’s and his own keys across the bar. The bartender nodded, scooping the keys up and tossing them into a basket above his head.

“Thanks, man.”  
“Just let me know when to call the cabs.”

Chad nodded, then turned back to Jared.

“All right. Now, what else is bothering you?”

Jared sighed, peeling the label off his bottle.

“We had dinner with the family tonight.”  
“Oh, thanks for the invite, asshole.”

Jared laughed, then shook his head.

“Matt and Julie were there, and Julie and Gen somehow got to talking about preschool interviews.”  
“You have to have an interview now to get into preschool? Holy shit, Aaron’s big enough for preschool?”  
“Chad, the point. You’re totally missing it.”  
“What could be the point about preschool—oh. _Oh._ ”  
“Yeah.”

Chad blinked, watching as Jared drained over half his beer.

“Gen wants kids?”  
“She’s never said a fucking word, and tonight, she tells me her plan.”  
“Oh, boy.”  
“Yeah.”  
“I’m going to need another beer for this.”

Jared told Chad everything he knew, everything Gen had laid out for him. He went through another beer, and was beginning to stumble over his words by the end of his explanation.

“So there it is. She—she wants babies. And I … I never wanted a baby. You know me. Am I a baby kind of guy?”

Chad smiled to himself.

“No, Jare. I honestly never thought we’d be having this conversation.”  
“Because I’m gay, right?”

Chad blinked, then let out a laugh.

“Exactly, my man.”

Jared shook his head, tossing the label from this bottle onto the bar. He let out a sigh, speaking softly.

“It was his birthday the other day.”

Chad pressed his lips together but nodded.

“Jare, you’ve got to let him go.”  
“I know that. Don’t you think I know that? It’s been … what? How long has it been?”  
“Ten years.”  
“It’s been ten years since I saw him last and I …”

Jared turned to Chad, clarity in his bloodshot eyes.

“It’s been ten years?”

Chad sighed, reaching to lay a hand on Jared’s shoulder.

“Yeah, buddy.”

Jared faced forward, letting out a quiet, hurt sound.

“Is that why I can’t stop thinking about him?”  
“Maybe. Probably.”  
“I miss him, Chad.”  
“I know you do.”  
“I … I fucked up bad with him.”  
“Yeah, you did.”

Jared shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes.

“But he’s gone, and I … I can’t ever get him back.”  
“Okay, that’s enough. I’m cutting you off. Come on, big guy. You can sleep on my couch.”  
“I have to work in the morning, and G … She can’t sleep by herself.”  
“It’s three A.M., Jare. Pretty sure she’s going to be okay tonight.”

Jared nodded, letting Chad help him off the barstool, stumbling out the door with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**FOUR**

The days all started running together for Jared. He was distracted, so his work was piling up. Genevieve was giving him the cold shoulder at home, enough so that his own apartment was the last place he wanted to be. He spent more time than ever at the bar, growing more familiar than he ever wanted to be with Chad’s couch. And one time, he slept in the backseat of his truck after he made the mistake of making out with the bartender.

To add to everything else, his allergies chose that time to flare up. Jared could barely breathe, sneezing into tissues at every turn, coughing so much he gave himself a sore throat, and popping Claritins like they were candy. 

Everything was weighing on him, but he could handle it.

Or so he thought.

*-*-*-*-*-*

It was a Tuesday morning when Jared’s brother and father strolled into his office unannounced. Jared raised an eyebrow from his place behind his desk, fingers on the keyboard of his computer, watching silently as Jim sat in one of the plush chairs in front of Jared’s desk, and Matt perched on the arm of the other.

Jared sighed, speaking softly into the phone he had wedged between his shoulder and his ear.

“I’ll call you later.”

He hung up the phone, then turned in his desk chair, linking his fingers together and resting them on his stomach.

“Is this it?”

Jim and Matt shared a look, then turned it on Jared. He sighed, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Is this where you fire me?”

An incredulous look crossed Jim’s face as Matt barked out a laugh. Jim leaned forward in his seat.

“Why in the hell would you think that?”  
“I lost the case, Dad.”

Matt let out another, quieter, laugh.

“No shit, Sherlock. It’s been all over the news … That’s not helping.”

Jim rolled his eyes, elbowing his son, and Matt lost his balance, almost falling off the chair, but standing to his feet instead, straightening out his suit jacket. Jim sat back, watching as Jared sniffled and reached to get a tissue.

“Jared… That case was a joke from the beginning. There was no way to win it. We told you that when you started gathering info on it.”  
“But I thought I could—“  
“Son, you gave it everything you had. I watched it. No one could have done a better job out there.”

Matt walked back over and sat on the arm of the chair opposite his father again. He shook his head.

“The deck was stacked against you from the get-go, Jare. We told Pellegrino that there was no way—“  
“You what?”

Jim sighed, running a hand over his face while Matt went still.

“Oops.”  
“You talked to Pellegrino without me?”  
“The devil wasn’t your client, kid.”  
“No, but his right-hand man was!”

Jared dragged his hands over his face, then gave a sharp laugh.

“So you two went to the big boss and told him, what? That I couldn’t handle playing with the big boys?”

Jim spoke up then.

“First of all, you’re thirty-two. Sit down. Second of all, you’re a damn good lawyer, and you play hardball better than anyone I’ve seen in a long time.”  
“Not to mention the fact that you’re six-foot-four, so in any situation, _you’re_ the ‘big boy.’”

Jared turned his head and coughed, turning back to meet his brother’s worried eyes. Jared rolled his, then motioned towards the large window behind him.

“Allergies.”

Matt nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. Jim raised an eyebrow, and Jared leaned back in his chair, letting out a long breath.

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I just …”

He sighed again, and Jim leaned forward.

“You’re loading yourself down way too much, kid. You don’t have to keep letting this shit pile up. Matt can help with it.”  
“Hey!”

Jared smiled, but so did Matt. Jared looked up in time to see Matt and Jim exchange a look, and he sat up straighter in his chair.

“What’s wrong?”

Two pairs of dark eyes turned to him, and Jared shook his head.

“That look. Something’s up. What is it?”

Jim sighed.

“It’s just … We want you to be careful, son.”  
“Careful? About what?”

Matt licked his lips, then spoke.

“It’s just … We’re a little bit worried.”

Matt went on when he noticed Jared’s blank stare.

“Just … Sheppard’s last words before they took him away.”  
“What, that someone’s going to pay?”

Jim and Matt nodded, and Jared let out a laugh.

“The man’s in jail for the next seventy-five years. I highly doubt he’ll be doing anything. Especially since Pellegrino washed his hands of him before the trial even started. You two are worrying about nothing.”

Jim glanced up at Matt, who gave his father a mirroring look. Jim sighed, nodding his head.

“You’re probably right. But … just to be on the safe side, be careful?”

Jared smiled, nodding his head.

“I’ll keep an eye out. But I’m telling you: you two are worried for nothing.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Thursdays were pretty much catch-up days in the office. They rarely had court, so most everyone spent the day doing paperwork they’d either missed or that they could use in the future. Genevieve would usually spend the time in Jared’s office planning their wedding, but since they currently weren’t speaking, she was sitting at her desk, which was just outside Jared’s.

In the middle of typing a report, Jared sneezed, grabbing a tissue from the box Genevieve had somehow snuck into the office without him realizing, and sniffling. What he thought was an allergy attack turned into a full-fledged chest cold that had him downing Dayquil and Nyquil like it was one of his job requirements. He was debating on whether or not to call his mother and see if she’d be up for lunch when the scream startled him. 

He jumped to his feet, running to the hall, gathering an armful of a crying, shaking Genevieve when she met him at his door, putting her face in his chest. Jared glanced around, holding one hand to the back of Genevieve’s dark hair. The four people who shared that space with Genevieve all stood to their feet, confused looks on their faces.

“What the hell is going on?”  
“Mis—Mister Padalecki?”

Jared whirled his head over to the intern they’d recently hired—a bright college kid named Osric—who was standing to the side of Genevieve’s desk. The kid was pale, and Jared watched him swallow hard.

“What is it, Osric?”

Osric lifted a shaky hand, pointing to a white box on the floor near Genevieve’s desk. Jared started to make a move, only to have Genevieve grab him tighter, whimpering.

“It’s okay, honey. I’ve got you; try and calm down. Can you tell me what happened?”

She shook her head, entire body trembling, and Osric spoke again, his voice quiet and shaky.

“The—the box is from a … a flower company, but it …”  
“What?”  
“It’s full of snakes.”

Genevieve gave another hard shudder, sobbing into Jared’s shirt. Jared swallowed, looking up to the kid again.

“Are they venomous?”  
“I—I’m not sure, sir.”  
“Then everyone clear out. Call … Shit, who are we supposed to call for something like this?”  
“I can find out.”  
“Do it. And hurry.”

Osric nodded, rushing out of the room. Jared heard a door shut down the hall, saw the empty space around them, and looked down.

“Sweetheart, we should—“  
“Jared, I can’t … I can’t move.”

Jared looked down just in time to see Genevieve’s eyes roll back in her head. He caught her as she went limp, and he swept her up into his arms. He walked down the hall, closing the door behind him and sealing off the floor, then got onto the elevator and rode up to the next floor. He carried Genevieve into his father’s office, and Matt came running from down the hall as Jim stood up from his desk.

“What the hell—“  
“Someone sent her a box of snakes.”  
“What?!”

Jim walked over and Matt knelt beside the couch Jared laid Genevieve on. She was pale, somehow still crying even as she was unconscious, and Jared pushed a hand through his hair.

“She’s got a bad phobia of snakes. Bad. She can’t even see a picture of one without panicking. This is …”

Jared blew out his breath, shaking his head.

“I got the new kid, Osric? He’s calling the police or whoever you call when someone sends a goddamn box of snakes to your office.”  
“What kind of snakes?”

Jared shook his head.

“I don’t know. She was clinging to me so tight and she wouldn’t let me go. She was so scared, Dad. I couldn’t push away from her. The kid didn’t know what kind they were either, so I cleared everyone out and sealed the floor.”

Jim shook his head, letting out a shaky breath. Matt reached over and took Genevieve’s wrist, speaking softly.

“God, her heart is pounding. It’s way too fast.”  
“She was crying so hard she could barely breathe, and she couldn’t move. Full-blown terror, and I didn’t even see it coming.”  
“Jare, come on.”

Matt stood up, wincing when his joints protested. He shook his head again.

“This wasn’t your fault. Girls get deliveries here all the time.”  
“Who would have done this, though? And who could have known about how scared she was of snakes?”

Jim was quiet, turning away from the boys and walking to the window. Jared ran a hand over his face and shook his head.

“I need some coffee.”  
“I just made a fresh pot.”

Jared nodded, walking over to Matt’s office and pouring himself and his brother a cup of coffee. He walked them back, nodding at Matt’s muttered thanks as he handed him the mug. Jared took a sip and sighed, wrinkling his nose at the bitter taste. Matt laid Genevieve’s hand back down on the couch and shrugged his jacket off to cover her up.

“She’s freezing, but her skin’s not as clammy as it was when you first brought her in. Pulse is slowing down some.”

Jared coughed, then nodded.

“She’s exhausted, I know. This might do her some good.”

He coughed again, reaching for his coffee and taking another sip, then making a face.

“Jesus, Matt. I think your coffee expired or something. That’s disgusting.”  
“I just bought that coffee. It’s dark roast.”  
“Yeah, but—“

Jared coughed again, shaking his head and breathing out a harsh wheeze. Jim turned from the window, walking to his youngest son.

“Jared?”

Jared’s face twisted in pain, and he reached up to unbutton his shirt, yanking his tie loose.

“Jared.”

Wide eyes looked to his father, and Jared wheezed again, coughing harder.

“I ca .. I can’t breathe.”

Matt grabbed his cup and took a sip of coffee, spitting it out immediately.

“God, that’s … Oh, no.”

Jim raised an eyebrow at Matt as he put his hands on Jared’s shoulders, and Matt ran from the room. Jared was barely breathing, and Jim grabbed hold of his shirt, pulling it aside to see bright red welts breaking out over Jared’s skin.

“My god. Matt!”

Matt ran back in, teeth ripping open an Epi-Pen box.

“Lucy’s calling 9-1-1. Hold him still, Dad.”  
“Jared, we got you. Try and stay calm. Hang on, son.”

Jared nodded, wincing as he tried to take in a breath, coughing and wheezing instead. Weak hands came up to rest on his father’s arms, and Matt jammed the Epi-Pen into the side of Jared’s leg. One shaky, labored breath was all Jared could give before it all went black.


	5. Chapter 5

**FIVE**

Jared felt like he was underwater, but somehow, he felt soft hands brushing through his hair. He knew the touch immediately, but it took him a while to blink open his eyes. When he finally was able to, he met the tear-filled dark eyes of his mother.

“Hey there.”

Jared tried to say something, but Samantha Ferris-Padalecki shook her head, continuing to push her fingers through his hair.

“Don’t try to talk, honey. They had to put a tube down your throat to help you breathe when they first brought you in.”

Jared nodded, licking his dry lips, and Samantha leaned over, picking up a small cup with a straw sticking out of it.

“Slow sips.”

Jared did as his mother told him, then rested back against the pillows. A shaky hand lifted to rub at his chest, and Samantha let out a sigh.

“You gave us quite a scare, son. The Epi-Pen worked for a second, but then your heart stopped. Your dad and your brother had to watch the paramedics shock you, twice, until you came back.”

Jared leaned back against the pillows, wincing again. His eyes met his mother’s, and she gave him a tiny smile.

“Someone put honey in the coffee. The good stuff too, with a little bit of beeswax.”

Jared nodded in understanding. He was extremely allergic to bees, and all the byproducts of them. He winced as he swallowed, and Samantha subtly pressed the call button on the side of Jared’s bed. He slowly blinked his eyes open again, and Samantha lifted her hand to run it through his hair again.

“You can sleep, baby. I’m right here, and your dad will be back soon.”

Jared nodded, yawning as a nurse walked in the room, armed with a syringe of painkillers for Jared.

“Well, hello there. Nice to see you awake.”

Jared looked questioning eyes to his mother, and Samantha let out a sigh.

“You’ve been asleep for two days, big guy.”

Jared’s eyes widened, and he yawned again as the red-headed nurse pushed the medicine through his IV. He looked up to her and she gave him a demure smile.

“This is probably going to knock you out, since we have to give you a horse-sized dose, but it will make you feel better when you wake up.”

Jared nodded, and she patted his shoulder.

“My name is Danneel, if you need anything. Mrs. Padalecki, nice to see you again.”  
“You too, dear.”

Danneel left the room, waiting just a beat before leaning back and studying the young man in the bed. As tall and muscular as he was, he looked small and frail in the hospital bed. Danneel bit her lip, straightening up and looking up and down the hall. She walked over to the nurse’s station and grabbed Jared’s chart. She flipped through it, making a note of the medicine she’d just administered, the dosage, and the time, then flipped to a different section. When she read the information, she shook her head, letting out a quiet laugh.

“I knew it. How in the …”

She shook her head again, glancing around slyly before pulling her phone from her pocket. She typed out a quick text, finding the head nurse for her shift.

“Excuse me, Helen?”

The woman nodded, and Danneel held out her hand.

“Danneel. I’m the—“  
“Oh! Yes, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Danneel’s smile grew as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

“I’m just going to take a quick break, if that’s okay?”  
“Oh, that’s fine, dear. We’re all set for now. Do you know where the cafeteria is?”  
“Yes, ma’am, I scoped that out first thing.”

Helen laughed, nodding her head, and Danneel hurried down the hall, pulling her phone from her pocket.

“Hey. Look, I don’t have long, but you will never believe what I’m about to tell you. You did not hear this from me, because I could lose my job, all right?”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared’s ordeal caused him to stay three days in the hospital. His parents and Matt took turns staying with him, and Genevieve, despite Jared’s protests, stayed with him every night. On the third day, just as he was waiting on the doctor to discharge him, he spiked a fever, and the doctor—at the not-so-gentle urging of his mother—didn’t want to take any chances with him and made him stay at least another day, or until he was fever-free for 24 hours.

Jared wanted to go home, of course, but he couldn’t lie that he didn’t mind being in the hospital like he was. He was able to rest and not worry about work or the wedding or anything. He did a lot of thinking instead, and could feel himself slipping into a sadness that he couldn’t quite explain. 

Well, he _could_ explain it, at least to himself, and it only took one word.

Jensen.

He’d been thinking about Jensen a lot lately, a lot more than usual. Maybe it was the fact that ten years had gone by and he was older and wiser now. Maybe—probably—it was his upcoming wedding. When his thoughts drifted that way, Jared did whatever he could to think about something else, and buried those feelings back down.

*-*-*-*-*-*

The fourth day he was in the hospital, Jared was up too early. The x-ray tech had come in just before dawn, doing another chest x-ray to be sure his lungs were clear, and Jared hadn’t been able to fall back to sleep once she left. He’d slept too much in the hospital, so staying awake was something he’d been expecting.

What he wasn’t expecting was a phone call just after six A.M.

Jared sighed, reaching over to grab his vibrating cell phone, scrunching his nose at the unfamiliar number. He slid his finger across the screen anyway and answered the call, his voice hoarse from the breathing treatments they’d been giving him, which incited hellacious coughing fits.

“Hello?”  
_”Well, damn, son. That voice finally did get deeper, just like I said it would.”_

Jared sat up in the bed.

“JD?”  
_“Of course it’s me, kid. What, did you lose my number?”_  
“I did, as a matter of fact. My phone crashed and I lost everything, had to get a new one. Damn, it’s good to hear your voice.”  
_“Right back at ya, string bean.”_

Jared laughed, trailing off into a cough, and he winced as he rubbed his chest. JD’s deep voice rumbled through the line again.

_“You sick, kid?”_

Jared smiled.

“Just a little setback. Nothing bad. I should be getting out of the hospital today or tomorrow.”  
_”Hospital? Hell, kid, that ain’t a ‘little setback’.”_  
“I’m fine, JD, really. How are you?”  
_”I’m an old bastard, Jared. Ain’t much changed.”_

Jared laughed, not noticing the way he was holding the phone tightly. He also didn’t notice the dark eyes that watched him from the shadows of his doorway. JD let out a breath, and Jared bit his lip as he listened to the gruff voice.

 _”Listen, kid. You know I ain’t a man of many words. So I’m sure you figured out there’s a reason why I’m calling.”_  
“No, I’m just glad to hear your voice.”

Jared blinked at the sudden stinging in his eyes and he lifted a hand to rub at them.

 _“I know you’re some hotshot lawyer now, but it’s been ten damn years since the last time I saw you. That’s too damn long. So you need to take a break from your hot-shot lawyer gig and bring your ass to Texas. And, uh, you’ll need to clear up a few rumors I’ve heard buzzing around.”_  
“JD, I’m in Boston. What could you have possibly heard in Texas?”  
_“Come on down and I’ll fill you in. I hate these damn phones. If you can’t talk to someone face-to-face, then it ain’t worth it.”_

Jared smiled. The man hadn’t changed at all. His voice was soft when he spoke again.

“JD, I just … I don’t know if I can just pack up and come down.”  
_”Sure you can. I know you’re someone important now, but they’ll be fine without you for a while.”_

The more Jared thought about it, the more he absolutely ached to go see his old friend. Jared licked his lips, blinking hard as he spoke, barely in a whisper.

“JD, is … how is he?”

The gruff voice had a rare gentleness to it when JD answered him.

_”He’s good, kid. I’m just about to meet him for breakfast.”_

Jared couldn’t stop the tear that rolled down his face, and he let out a quiet cough.

“I, uh … I can’t make any promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”  
_”Can’t ask much more than that. Fresh air might do you some good.”_  
“You’re probably right.”  
_”Damn right I am.”_

Jared laughed again.

“Thanks for calling, JD.”  
_”Should’ve done it a hell of a lot earlier. Then again, these damn phones work both ways, so…”_

Jared groaned, smiling at the deep laugh that rumbled through the line.

_“See you soon, kid.”_

The call ended and Jared set his phone aside, lifting his hands to cover his eyes at the rush of tears that he couldn’t hold back. He heard the door shut, but when he smelled the subtle gardenia perfume, he let the sob come. 

Samantha moved to hover over the bed, holding her overgrown son in her arms as he cried into her shoulder. She didn’t tell him anything, just held him until he calmed enough to lay back against the pillows. She picked up a washcloth from the bathroom, wetting it and gently wiping his face. He gave her a soft smile, sniffling as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“Talk to me, baby.”

Jared sighed, speaking softly in his hoarse voice.

“JD called.”  
“JD? … JD Morgan?”

Jared smiled and nodded, and Samantha’s eyes widened.

“God, I haven’t heard from him in—“  
“Ten years.”

Samantha went quiet, immediately realizing that what she had thought was the problem with her son was exactly that. She nodded, and Jared sniffled again before he spoke.

“He wants me to come to Texas. Spend some time at the ranch.”

Samantha nodded, biting her lip at the smile that was threatening.

“That’s actually kind of the reason I’m here to talk to you, honey.”

Jared met her eyes, and she sighed.

“There was another … thing at the office today. Everyone’s fine, but A.J.—is it A.J. that works on your floor?”  
“Buckley? Yeah, he’s a paralegal with Genevieve. They work together all the time.”

Samantha nodded.

“Honey, his car blew up as soon as he opened the door and walked into the lobby.”

Jared sat up straight, eyes wide and scared.

“Are you … What?”

Samantha sighed.

“He’s fine. Everyone’s fine, it’s just a little cosmetic damage to the parking garage and of course, A.J. doesn’t have a vehicle anymore.”  
“No one was hurt?”  
“No, it’s like it was designed to happen when no one was around.”

Jared pushed a hand through his hair, and Samantha sighed. 

“Your father and your brother have been in contact with the police and the FBI. They all think it would be best if you—and Genevieve, of course—take a bit of a sabbatical.”  
“You want me to run away.”  
“Little boy, don’t you put words in my mouth.”

Jared smiled. He hadn’t been a “little boy” since he was ten. Samantha smiled, reaching out and brushing her fingers through his hair.

“We also thought it would be a good idea to have you two going different places. Genevieve’s already made plans to go home to her family, and if you want to go to Texas…”

She glanced over, meeting cautiously optimistic hazel eyes. She smiled.

“You always liked JD. Maybe some time with him would be good. And maybe you’ll run into—“  
“Mom, please. Don’t.”

Samantha put her lips together as she nodded.

“I’m sorry.”  
“No, it’s … I’m sorry. I just … I can’t think about that right now. JD said he was meeting him for breakfast, and I …”

Jared let out a laugh.

“I started crying. Who does that?”  
“Jared, honey.”

He looked up and met his mother’s eyes, and her smile was soft.

“You have had quite the ordeal, my love. Not just recently, but with the trial and everything. You’re stressed, honey. You’ve been medicated and poked and prodded for half a week. You still aren’t breathing quite right, and if you put all that together, it’s no wonder you cried. Even someone as big and strong as you is allowed a meltdown every now and then.”

Jared sighed, but nodded. Samantha stood up, leaning over and kissing his forehead.

“I’ve got to go. Julie’s mother called with some sort of emergency at her shop and Julie’s got to go put out the fire.”  
“So you get to play grandma with the baby.”

Samantha’s smile brightened and she nodded.

“I’ll tell her Uncle Jared said hello.”

Jared nodded, waiting until Samantha had gathered her things and was at the door.

“Hey, Mom?”

She glanced back at him and he gave her a smile.

“Thanks.”  
“No problem, sweetie. Get some rest.”

Jared nodded, letting out a long breath as he leaned back against the pillows when he was alone again. He glanced at his phone, a smile crossing his face as his mind drifted back.

*-*-*-*-*-*

_Twelve Years Ago_

“You’re sure about this?”  
“Yeah! Well … Kind of. I’m like eighty percent sure. Seventy-five.”  
“Jen!”

Jensen threw his head back and laughed, then leaned forward and kissed Jared’s cheek, ruffling his hair. Jared scowled as he tried to smooth his hair down, and Jensen smiled.

“Look, Jeff’s awesome. He’s kind of scary looking, to be honest, but he’s nothing but a teddy bear, really.”  
“You’re not helping, Jen.”  
“I’m trying to chill you out.”  
“Have you ever brought a guy home before?”

Jensen’s smile faltered, and he cleared his throat.

“No, actually.”

Jared blinked.

“But I thought you said that—“  
“I did. You’re not my first boyfriend. But you are the first one I’ve ever …”  
“Brought home to meet your uncle?”

Jensen blushed.

“Yeah. Yeah, exactly.”

Jared sighed, then stepped over, lacing his fingers through Jensen’s. Jensen leaned over and kissed Jared’s temple, then squeezed his hand.

“You just be your sweet self, and everything will be fine. Jeff’s going to love you.”  
“What if he doesn’t?”  
“Then he’ll have to answer to me.”  
“Oh, _that_ makes me feel better.”  
“You little—”

Jared laughed, accepting the headlock Jensen gave him, but easily slithering out of it. Jensen laughed too, then wrapped his arms around Jared, squeezing him from behind. Jared smiled, reaching a hand up to pat Jensen’s arms.

“I’m glad I’m here with you. Texas is … different. But good different.”  
“I might just break you yet, city boy.”

Jared laughed, then turned in Jensen’s arms, kissing him softly. Jensen ran his hand along Jared’s jaw, then smiled.

“Come on, Jeff’s probably waiting on us in the barn.”

Jared stopped short, and Jensen turned back, one eyebrow raised.

“Barn? There’s really a barn here?”  
“It’s a ranch, Jay. The horses have to have somewhere to stay.”  
“It’s so cliché, though.”  
“Get your ass up here.”

Jared laughed, but caught up, lacing his fingers through Jensen’s. Jensen gave his hand a squeeze, smiling widely.

“You haven’t seen cliché ‘til you see Jeff. You’re in for a treat, my friend.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

March was almost over when Jared stepped off the plane. He’d been expecting something akin to the frigidness of Boston, but was pleasantly surprised by the warm Texas air that rolled over him. It was still cool, but pleasant, and nowhere near as cold as Boston. Jared unwrapped his scarf from around his neck, tucking it into his coat pocket, unbuttoning his coat as he made his way from the cabin door to the ground. He slid his hands in his pockets, glancing to his right when he heard a shrill whistle.

A smile broke out across his face when he saw the man leaning over the side of the black truck. Long and lean, haggard face covered in a salt-and-pepper beard—more salt than pepper these days—Jeff stepped around the truck and opened his arms. 

Jared wasn’t expecting the tears when Jeff enveloped him a tight hug, but he buried his face in the man’s shoulder as Jeff gently patted his back.

“It’s all right, son. Everything’s going to be okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

**SIX**

It had been ten years since Jared had been to Texas. He’d deliberately stayed out of the state as much as he could, and as soon as he stepped off the plane, he realized his mistake.

Things were different in the small town. Life just seemed to go slower than it did in Boston. There, Jared was always going, always busy, always with something to do. He didn’t have time to stop and smell the roses. Here, people didn’t just bump into each other on the street and keep walking. No, they’d stop and say hello, chat for a while. They knew things, important things, about each other.

Jared didn’t realize how much he missed human interaction with people other than his family and co-workers until he and JD drove away from the airstrip. JD waved at nearly everyone they passed, tipping his hat to blushing women, and he even pulled the truck over twice to speak to someone. Each time, he introduced the “city kid” in his passenger seat, and Jared would roll his eyes, reminding JD once again that was thirty-two years old and six-foot-four. JD would just smile and turn the radio up another notch as they drove.

The old ranch was just as he remembered it from so many years before. The sprawling house with the wraparound porch, swings at the front and the back, all the way down to the lazy dog resting in a patch of sunlight under the old oak tree. 

Jared smiled as he hopped out of the big truck. He took in a deep breath, wincing slightly at the ache in his lungs as he did. He let the breath out slowly, giving a quiet laugh when the dog lifted its head, tilting it to the side as it took a long look at Jared.

“That’s Duke. Laziest motherfucker I’ve ever seen.”

Jared burst out laughing, and the dog slowly pulled himself up. JD shook his head.

“Guy who gave him to me said he came from two great guard dogs. Only thing that dog guards is the bone I toss him every now and then. And Sam, of course. He’s crazy about Sam.”

Jared smiled.

“She’s still around?”

JD cleared his throat.

“Yeah, she comes around every now and then.”  
“And you still think she hung the moon.”  
“Boston’s made you sappy, stretch.”

Jared laughed, and JD smiled, white teeth shining out from under the darkness of his beard.

“Come on. I left some chili on the stove.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

JD was right. The fresh air was doing wonders for Jared. He felt lighter here, more at ease. He spent most of the first day sleeping, after sweating off at least five pounds while eating JD’s five-alarm chili. The man was not shy around spices.

The next day, Jared woke up early—well, what he considered early—and after a cup of coffee, made his way outside. He found JD outside, brushing a horse, and Jared couldn’t help but smile when JD’s gruff laugh rang out through the barn.

“There’s Sleeping Beauty. Glad you decided to pull yourself out of bed and join us.”

Jared rolled his eyes. 

“It slipped my mind that days on this ranch start before the damn sun comes up.”  
“Long before, son. Half the day’s gone now.”

Jared groaned, shaking his head. He heard the dog bark, and JD looked up, face going soft. Jared bit his cheek to keep the smile from his face. JD patted the horse’s flank, put the brush and whatever else he’d used back where he found them and strolled out of the barn. Jared chuckled to himself, putting his hands in his pockets as he followed JD. They walked to the house, and a sweet laugh met their ears.

“Duke, you’ve got to let me get to the kitchen.”

The dog barked, and the laugh sounded again.

“I know, sweetheart, but if you let me go, you’ll get a bone. Good boy.”

Jared stepped back and watched JD as Samantha Smith walked into the kitchen. A wide smile crossed her beautiful face as she set her purse on the counter. Her voice went soft as she walked towards the coffeepot.

“Good morning, cowboy.”  
“Mornin’, ma’am.”

Jared couldn’t help the smile that bloomed across his face as a blush appeared on Sam’s cheeks. She poured two cups of coffee, dropping sugar into one before walking to the refrigerator and pulling out a gallon of milk, pouring just a bit in that same mug. She put the milk back, then handed the other mug to JD, who lifted it towards her before they both took a sip. Sam’s voice was quiet when she spoke again.

“You and the boys are working the cows today, right?”

JD set his cup down, letting out a breath.

“No, tomorrow.”

Sam lifted an eyebrow, and JD gave her a smile.

“There’s been a slight change of plans.”  
“Oh, really?”

Sam set her cup on the counter in front of her as JD nodded.

“Since I roped him into coming here just in time for the big work to start, I’ve got to get a city boy back on a horse today.”  
“City boy? JD, what are you talking about?”

He smiled, motioning with his head towards the shadow of the door, where Jared was standing.

“Our eavesdropper.”

Sam followed his motion, gasping and covering her mouth with her hands as her eyes landed on Jared’s. He gave her a soft smile, and she slowly stepped forward.

“Oh my … Jared?”  
“Hey, Sam.”

The smile fell from his face as he saw her eyes fill with tears, but she rounded the counter and was in his arms before he could say anything. He let out a breath, wrapping his arms around her, and she shook her head, letting out a laughing sob.

“Oh, honey. It’s so good to see you.”

Jared tightened his hold on her, smiling as he closed his eyes, the cool smell of coconut filling his senses.

“It’s good to see you too, Sam.”

They hugged for a moment longer, until she leaned back and took his face in her hands. She let out a laugh, cheeks damp with silent tears.

“You grew. I swear you did.”

Jared let out a laugh, and she went up on her tiptoes. Jared smiled and leaned down, and she gently pressed her lips to his cheek. She shook her head, patting his chest as she stepped back, wiping her face. She stepped over and pushed JD, and he stepped back, eyes wide. She shook her head, pointing her finger at him.

“You should have told me.”

He opened his mouth, and she smiled, shaking her head again and stepping closer to him, and he automatically opened his arms, closing his eyes when she put her arms around him, resting her head against his wide chest. Jared felt his smile soften as he looked at them, shaking his head when he thought back, the way they’d always been around each other, the love evident, but neither of them acting on it.

And that made it where it almost hurt to watch them. 

Jared licked his lips as he turned away, putting his hands in his pockets and staring out the window. A rustle across the carpet caught his attention, and he turned just in time to have his heart drop.

“JD, you were supposed to call me this morning to …”

Sam and JD turned at the deep voice that sounded before the man came to a hard stop, green eyes focused on Jared. Sam went to speak, but JD gently patted her shoulder, shaking his head. She nodded slowly, and they watched Jared step forward, voice suddenly shaky.

“Jensen?”

The room was still and silent for one, two heartbeats, and Jensen turned on his heel and ran out the front of the house. JD closed his eyes when the door slammed, and Jared stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall. He slid down to the floor, putting his head in his hands.

*-*-*-*-*-*

_Thirteen Years Before_

“Excuse me, I think you’ve got my coffee.”

Jared turned around, eyes widening at the gorgeous green staring back at him. He blinked, and an amused smirk crossed the guy’s face. Jared blinked a few times, then shook his head.

“What?”

The guy’s smile’s widened, and he motioned to the cup Jared was holding in his hand.

“I couldn’t help overhearing your order, and trust me, that is not a mocha-frappa-whatever. That’s black coffee, and it kind of tastes like diesel fuel.”

Jared barked out a laugh, handing over the cup.

“Sorry. I thought they said ‘Jay,’ and that’s what my brother always called me.”

The other guy smiled, turning the cup just a bit, where Jared could clearly read the “Jay” written on the side. Jared raised an eyebrow, and the guy smiled even wider, showcasing straight white teeth behind his plump lips.

“Do you know how hard it is to get people to understand a name like ‘Jensen?’ My best friend made me start using ‘Jay’ because it’s so much easier.”

Jared nodded, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Jensen, huh?”

The guy took a sip of coffee, giving a pleased sigh and nodded, shifting his coffee and holding out his hand.

“Jensen Ackles.”  
“Jared Padalecki. Nice to meet you.”

Jared’s name was called, and he turned to grab his coffee, turning back to see Jensen still standing close by. He walked beside Jared to the section containing straws and milk and stirrers, watching as Jared grabbed a few napkins and dusted chocolate powder on the top of his pile of whipped cream.

“So Padalecki?”

Jared let out a quiet laugh.

“Yeah, I completely understand where you’re coming from on the name thing. It used to be a hassle, but now I find it funny. See how many pronunciations I get from the professors and telemarketers—now _that’s_ fun.”

Jensen gave a laugh of his own, and they stopped at a table. Jared shrugged his backpack off his shoulders and Jensen bit his lip a second before he spoke.

“You mind if I join you?”  
“No, go ahead. I’ve got some pre-class assignment for my … business law, maybe?”  
“Oh, with Brown?”

Jared looked up, meeting those green eyes, then flipped to the front of his notebook, scanning the schedule he posted there.

“Yeah, with Brown in … Mulder Hall? What is this, _The X-Files_?”  
“I want to believe.”

Jared let out a laugh, and Jensen smiled, dropping his bag beside the table.

“I’m in that class. It’s an easy assignment, if you’d like some help.”

Jared smiled, looking into green eyes that were smiling back at him. They were quiet for a moment, then Jared nodded, speaking softly.

“I’d like that.”


	7. Chapter 7

**SEVEN**

Jensen was bent over in the front yard, one hand against the big oak tree. The dog was sitting at his feet, whining like he knew something was wrong.

“Wrong.” That’s cute. No, nothing was “wrong.”

The whole fucking world just flipped upside down, that’s all.

How the hell could he be here?

Jensen heard the front door open and prayed to God that it was Sam, coming to check on him. Sam, he could deal with. Hell, Sam was who he wanted to deal with. Anything but those kaleidoscope eyes and floppy hair.

But of course, when he took in a deep breath, he could smell the familiar spicy aftershave and a hint of tobacco, the signal that Sam had stayed inside and his uncle had come instead.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“When exactly would have been a good time to slip that in the conversation?”  
“Anytime, Jeff. Anytime at all would have been a good time.”

JD sighed.

“I couldn’t tell you.”  
“The hell you couldn’t. You just _didn’t_.”  
“I didn’t tell anybody, Jack. Sam didn’t even know. Kane sure as hell didn’t, still doesn’t actually.”

Jensen licked his lips, staring out across the front yard, absently scratching the dog’s head.

“What’s he doing here?”

JD gave a sigh, and Jensen finally looked over at him. Dark eyes glanced his way, then JD looked out towards the house.

“He’s … having a rough time right now.”

Jensen gave a bitter laugh.

“So you’re taking in strays now?”  
“Son, I know you’re hurting, but I raised you better than to talk about someone like that.”

Jensen rammed his fist into the tree, ignoring the pain in his scraped-up knuckles and turned to face JD.

“Do you remember the last time I saw him? When he was too damn scared to say anything, more worried about his fucking reputation than me?”  
“Of course I remember that, Jensen. But it’s been ten years.”

Jensen shook his head, pushing a hand through his hair.

“I was fine, Jeff. For ten years, I got along fine.”  
“Oh, you were the opposite of ‘fine,’ kid!”

Green eyes flashed his way, and JD shook his head. 

“You would probably be in the ground if me and Sam hadn’t pulled you out of the bottle that first year. You tried to run the ranch into the ground, but we fought tooth and nail to keep that from happening. You tried to make yourself happy, at the expense of your friends, and for some reason, Dani and Kane stuck around. God knows you did your best to isolate yourself.”

Jensen leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes. JD sighed, shaking his head again.

“I know, Jensen, because I was right here. You scared the shit out of me more than once, but we got you through it. You are older and wiser now, just like Jared is. Things are not the same as they were ten years ago.”  
“So, what? We’re just letting bygones be bygones?”  
“No, damn it. Don’t put words in my mouth. You’ve been a miserable son of a bitch for ten damn years. And guess what? So has he. It’s past damn time for the two of you to either fix it or say ‘fuck it’ and let it go.”

JD turned then, making his way back inside. Jensen flinched when he heard the door slam, and he walked to his truck, climbing in and making gravel fly as he sped away from the ranch.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Sam was drying her hands on a towel when JD walked back into the kitchen. She flicked her eyes up to see his rugged face set in a frown, eyes blazing, and she simply walked to the refrigerator, gathering the items she needed for the lunch she planned to make. After a few quiet minutes, JD looked around.

“Where’d he go?”

Sam pulled a drawer open and pulled out a knife.

“To his room. He was pale as a ghost, and I knew if he passed out, I’d have to leave him on the floor. He’s too big for me to try and mess with. So I made him go lay down for a while.”

JD wiped a hand over his face and Sam turned to face him.

“You didn’t tell him Jensen was here.”

JD shook his head, and Sam set the knife on the counter.

“Jeffrey Dean Morgan …”  
“Now listen.”

He stepped closer, and blue eyes flicked up to his. As usual, he kind of lost himself for a second, then sighed.

“No. I didn’t tell him. I thought he might not come if he knew.”  
“You mean if he knew Jensen lives two miles from here, in his parents’ old place?”  
“Last he knew, Jensen was selling the place and transferring schools.”  
“Oh, Jeff.”

She turned away from him, shaking her head. She picked the knife up again and began harshly chopping the vegetables she’d gathered from the fridge. JD licked his lips, stepping up behind her, and she let out a laugh.

“I would keep my distance if I was you, cowboy. This knife is plenty sharp.”

JD nodded, taking a step back. Sam let out a sigh, setting the knife aside and wiping her hands on the apron she was wearing.

“I get what you’re trying to do. It’s sweet, and I pray it works. But honey …”

She walked towards him, shaking her head.

“They’re big boys. They’ve got to figure things out for themselves. They can’t have you playing fairy godmother for them at 32 and 34.”

JD nodded, giving her a smile.

“And you’re right there in the middle between them.”

Sam groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t start with me, old man.”  
“Sweetheart, that hurts.”

She laughed, glancing over her shoulder at him.

“Forty-four isn’t old, JD.”  
“You’re killing me.”

She laughed again, picking up her knife again.

“Go on and do what you’ve got to do. I’ll talk to Jared when he comes out and I can deal with Jensen if he comes back.”  
“Or you can send him out to me, if he’s trying to show his ass.”

Sam smiled, and JD walked to the back door, lifting his hat from the hook and setting it on his head. Sam took in a breath when he gave her a wink, and she held a hand to her stomach when he walked out the door, whistling an old tune.

“You know…”

Sam jumped, letting out a laugh when she turned to see Jared smiling at her.

“He’s absolutely crazy about you.”  
“You scared me half to death, Jared. Don’t you sneak up on me.”

Jared laughed, taking a seat at the bar and watching Sam chop the vegetables.

“I mean it. JD’s so gone with you.”

He watched her swallow, and she shook her head.

“Please. You’ve been trying to get us together for … what is it now? Twelve years?”  
“Yes, ma’am. And for twelve years, I’ve been right. You two just need to open your eyes.”

Sam nodded slowly, then spoke gently.

“And what about you?”  
“What about me?”

Sam’s voice was calm and kind.

“Who do you love, Jared?”

It was the same question she’d asked him since she met him. He used to smile, tuck his tongue in his cheek and point at Jensen, or laugh and tell her that she already knew. But now … Now his throat felt tight and his eyes stung.

“I screwed up so bad, Sam.”

She glanced back, setting the knife aside when she saw his face.

“Honey—“

Jared shook his head, dragging his hands over his face.

“Did you see him? He took one look at me and took off running. I thought … Hell, I don’t know what I thought.”

Sam let out a sigh, reaching out and rubbing a hand on his shoulder. Jared shook his head again.

“This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t … I shouldn’t have come.”  
“Oh, honey. No. I’m glad to see you. And I know JD is happy you’re here. You just give Jensen some time, and he’ll come around.”  
“Sam, I—“  
“Trust me, little one.”

Jared smiled, and Sam patted his back.

“I’m fixing some lunch for JD and the boys. You’re welcome to help me, or you can head out to the barn and find JD if you want.”

Jared nodded, watching Sam turn back to the counter, content to just watch for a moment, while his mind churned.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jensen threw back the shot, then motioned to the bartender. Alona, known as Al to the patrons of the Whiskey River bar, walked over and poured him another, then set the glass down and poured whiskey into it. He looked up and she gave him a wink.

“You look like you need it.”  
“I do. Thanks, Al.”

She gave him a wink and walked to the other end of the bar, grabbing a beer and popping the top on the way. Jensen threw back the shot, making a face as the liquor burned all the way down, then stared at the glass of whiskey. A hand landed on his shoulder and gave a squeeze, and Jensen couldn’t fight the smile.

“Hey, Kane.”

Chris Kane sat beside Jensen, pushing his long hair back from his face, motioning to Al, who slid a bottle of beer down the bar to him. He took a long swallow from it, then turned to Jensen. 

“So that’s Jared, huh?”

Jensen’s mouth turned up in a smile.

“You saw him?”  
“That’s one tall motherfucker.”

Jensen let out a laugh, and Chris took another sip from his beer. 

“Yeah, JD introduced us. And then I introduced my fist to his face.”

Jensen coughed, turning on his stool and staring at Chris, who calmly took another drink from the beer, motioning for Al to get him another one. Wide green eyes stared at Chris until he glanced over.

“Are you fucking serious? You punched him?”  
“What did you expect me to do?”  
“Not punch him in the face!”

Chris let out a laugh, reaching up to push his hair behind his shoulders.

“Jensen. All I know about that son of a bitch is that he’s the one who fucked you up real good, and I wasn’t able to pick up the pieces.”

Jensen groaned as he put his head in his hands, and Chris sighed.

“I told you the first time you told me about him that if I ever met him, I was going to punch him. You shouldn’t be surprised; I gave you fair warning. Sam was pissed as fuck at me, though.”  
“Oh, you think?”

Chris sighed, reaching over and laying his hand on Jensen’s back.

“I’m about to get sentimental.”  
“Christ, I’m not drunk enough for this.”  
“Shut up and listen, Ackles. We had our chance.”  
“And we both decided we’d be better off as friends.”  
“I know that. Will you just listen, damn it? I still care about you. You can’t sit there and lie to me and tell me that he didn’t fuck you up. It took you a long time to be okay again, and when I finally got to see—in person—the reason that you always get drunk on your damn birthday, well you know. I’m not exactly known for my even temper.”

Jensen snorted, nodding his head. He let out a long sigh, glancing to the side, meeting the blue eyes of his former lover-turned-best friend. 

“Can I talk to you about him?”

Chris snorted this time.

“You know you can. I’m not exactly lying awake at night pining for you, baby.”

Jensen let out a laugh.

“Dan would kill you.”  
“No shit, man.”

Chris nodded at Alona as she handed him another beer, and Jensen smiled as she handed him one, too. He nodded to her, and she walked from behind the bar to wipe down a few tables. Jensen took a drink, then started peeling the label from the bottle.

“I wasn’t expecting him to be there. To say it was a shock is … the understatement of the year. I saw him and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. Everything came rushing back, but the weird thing was ... It wasn’t until I turned and ran out of the house like a damn coward that I remembered all the bad shit.”

Jensen shook his head, wiping his hand across his mouth. 

“I don’t know what that means. That just seeing him makes everything else fall away.”  
“I can tell you what it means.”

Jensen bit his lip.

“I was afraid of that.”  
“Jen …”  
“He used to call me that. ‘Jen.’”

Chris nodded, reaching up to squeeze Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen groaned, rubbing his hands over his face again.

“I was fine. Not for a long damn time, but I am now. Or I _was_. And then JD brought him here, and I feel like I can’t stand up straight on my own anymore.”

Chris pursed his lips, not saying anything. Jensen blew out his breath, shaking his head.

“I know I’ve got to sit and talk to him or whatever, but can we just drink tonight? Can I just get shitfaced, and deal with the rest later?”  
“Because that’s usually a good plan?”

Jensen cut his eyes to his friend, and Chris let out a laugh.

“Sure, buddy. We’ll drink tonight, and deal with the rest when the hangover wears off. Hey Al! Give us some shots, would you, baby?”  
“You gonna pay your tab this time, Kane?”  
“You know I’m good for it, sweetheart.”  
“I know your girlfriend would kick your ass if she could hear you.”  
“Well, then it’s probably good that she ain’t here, huh?”

Alona rolled her eyes, reaching over and grabbing a bottle of tequila, setting shot glasses down in front of each of the boys.

“Keys and phones, guys. I’ll call y’all a cab or JD later.”

Chris and Jensen tossed their keys and cell phones onto the bar, and Alona slipped them under the bar. She turned the bottle up and didn’t stop until the entire bottle was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**EIGHT**

Jared took solace with the horses. The first time he came to the ranch, he found peace with the animals, taking his time brushing them and putting the saddles and things on them. The horses seemed to like him, standing still or nickering softly as they let him do what he needed.

That’s where Jensen found him the next morning, brush in hand, speaking softly to the mare in front of him. Jensen knocked gently on the barn wall, and Jared’s head popped up, left eye swollen and a dark purple-black. Jensen winced, and Jared let out a sharp laugh.

“That little fucker packs a hell of a punch.”

Jensen couldn’t help but smile, shoving his hands in his pockets as he slowly walked into the barn.

“He shouldn’t have hit you. He’s just protective and territorial.”

Jared nodded.

“Like a bulldog.”

Jensen laughed, and Jared noticed the way Jensen’s voice was deeper this morning, and how he wore a pair of dark sunglasses in the dim barn. Jared bit his cheek, speaking low.

“You hungover?”  
“Still a little drunk, I think.”

Jared let out a laugh, rubbing a hand along the horse’s flank. He walked out from behind the massive animal, setting the brush on the shelf where he’d found it. Jensen stood back and watched as Jared walked over and washed his hands, drying them off on a towel that he tossed back to the sink once he was done. He turned, putting his hands in his pockets, then pulling them back out, using them as he talked, and Jensen smiled softly.

“I didn’t know. JD called the other day, suggested I come for a visit. He didn’t say you were around.”  
“Yeah, he, uh … He didn’t tell me anything, either.”

Jared nodded, and Jensen sighed.

“Do you want me to go? I can find something I could do out of town, or—“  
“No! No, you … this is your home. If anybody’s going, it should be me.”

Jensen shook his head, lifting a hand to press at the ache at his forehead. Jared smiled softly, and Jensen let out a hiss.

“Fuck, I feel like death.”

Jared laughed, shaking his head.

“You know better than that, Jen.”

They both went still, and Jensen lifted his head to see Jared’s pale face, eyes wide. Jensen licked his lips, and Jared turned away, pushing his hands through his hair, then setting his hands on his hips. Jared shook his head, speaking softly, voice throaty and raw.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—“  
“It’s okay. Chris calls me that. It’s all right, Jared.”

Jared nodded, letting out a quiet laugh. He looked down, speaking quietly.

“No one calls me ‘Jay’ anymore. After we … Matt called me that once and I lost my mind. Beat the shit out of him.”

Jared shook his head, lifting a hand to rub at his chest. Jensen cleared his throat, and Jared let out a breath before he turned around. Jensen gave him a smile, still hiding behind the sunglasses, and motioned towards the house. 

“JD was making noise about going for a ride. Getting you back on a horse.”

Jared nodded.

“Yeah, Sam said she was going to make us a lunch or something. Are you coming with us?”

Jensen licked his lips.

“I can, if—if you want me to.”

Jared smiled, nodding his head. They fell into silence as they walked towards the house, and in the kitchen, Sam slid a black coffee mug across the counter to Jensen.

“Don’t ask what’s in it. Just drink it.”

Jensen nodded, picking up the cup and drinking it down. He set the cup back down and made a face, coughing into his hand.

“Jesus Christ, that’s awful.”  
“You should be feeling better within the hour.”

Jensen walked over and pressed a kiss to Sam’s cheek. She gave a quiet laugh, patting his cheek. She reached up and removed the sunglasses, whistling low when she saw the bloodshot eyes.

“Jensen Ross…”  
“I know, I know.”  
“I thought we talked about this.”

Jensen glanced back to see Jared intensely studying the floor. He turned forward again, looking into the eyes of the woman just a year younger than him, but who mothered him as much as he’d let her, and who had for most of his life.

“I’m fine, Sammy. I slipped last night, but I’m fine.”  
“Jensen, if—“  
“It was just one night. I promise.”

She nodded, patting his cheek again, and he let out a shaky breath as JD thundered down the stairs. He looked from Jared to Jensen, shaking his head and letting out a laugh.

“Well. Nice shiner, stretch. And if you don’t look like the living definition of ‘rode hard and put up wet.’”

Jensen rolled his eyes, groaning as he put a hand to his face. Jared grumbled under his breath and JD laughed again.

“You didn’t put the peas on your face like I told you, did you?”  
“I did for a while.”  
“And you’re paying for it this morning, aren’t you?”  
“That little Kane better watch his back.”

Sam cleared her throat, silencing Jared with a look.

“No violence on the ranch. Or at least where I can see it.”

JD didn’t even try to hide his smile as he walked to the door, slipping his feet into his boots.

“You coming with us, Jack?”

Jensen nodded, glancing back at Jared.

“If y’all don’t mind.”

JD shook his head, and Jared mirrored his actions. Sam bit the inside of her cheek, then turned to the basket in front of her.

“Sandwiches for all. Jared, no mustard on yours, right honey?”

Jared blinked wide eyes, shaking his head. Sam nodded, then met JD’s dark eyes.

“I have celery sticks and carrots in here—“  
“Aw, Sam—“  
“And I don’t want to hear any bitching about it. They better be gone by the time you all get back, and they best had not been fed to the horses, we clear?”

Jensen and JD made faces, but nodded, and Jared smiled. Sam glanced around the room, then met JD’s eyes again.

“There are also a few cookies that you have to share!”

Sam laughed as JD took the basket from her hands, and he leaned over the counter to press his lips against her cheek.

“Thanks, doll.”  
“You’re welcome. Go play cowboys and come back to me safe and with all your bones intact.”

Jared couldn’t help but widen his smile as he saw the blush color Sam’s cheeks, a moment before she lifted her fingers to dance across the place JD’s lips had just kissed. Jensen pushed his sunglasses back on his face and followed JD out the door. Sam glanced back to see Jared smiling at her, and she laughed when he wiggled his eyebrows, then jogged out of the room.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared couldn’t say he was entirely comfortable, but he was enjoying being back on a horse. It had been so long, and he knew his muscles would be screaming tomorrow, but for the first time in a long time, he was finally feeling at ease. He kept looking around, body now in a gentle rhythm with the animal beneath him, and he couldn’t help meeting the hidden green eyes that kept staring at him.

Jensen was still wearing his sunglasses, and the hat he’d slipped on his head was making Jared remember things he had no business remembering. 

_”Come here, Jay. I want to kiss you in the barn.”  
“Only if you leave the hat on.”_

Jared squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. Times were different now. Much different. Jensen was different, and Jared knew he was. Texas was doing his body and his mind good, he knew, but it was absolute hell on his heart.

A sharp whistle from ahead caused Jared to focus his attention on JD. 

“Just down this way is a little stream. We can stop for lunch and let the horses rest a while. You okay with that, stretch?”

Jared smiled and nodded, and JD clicked his tongue, causing his horse to move on. Jared took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he followed JD and Hemingway down to the stream. Jared smiled when he thought of that. All of the horses had … interesting names, to say the least. JD’s horse was Hemingway, the one Jensen was riding was Kerouac, and Jared’s horse, the one that he’d taken to as soon as he stepped foot in the barn was Salinger. Once they’d stopped at the stream and dismounted, Jared breathing a sigh of slight discomfort, he walked over to JD.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Who named the horses?”

JD smiled, pointing his finger towards Jensen, who currently had his back to them. Jared’s eyes widened, and he met JD’s eyes again.

“Seriously?”  
“What, you think Jack would ride a horse named Star Dazzle or something?”

Jared let out a laugh.

“Hey, why do you call him Jack?”  
“Because when I was little and just learning how to write, I used to show JD all my work. The most I could write for the longest time was ‘J. Ack,’ so he found himself a nickname.”  
“And more recently, when I sift through your mail, most things are addressed to ‘J. Ackles,’ so the name came back.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. He walked over and snatched the basket from JD’s horse, laughing when JD started threatening to toss him in the stream. Jensen unpacked the sandwiches, each labeled in Sam’s neat handwriting, and they found a soft patch of grass in the sun and started to eat.

In the midst of the silence and the chewing, Jensen spoke up.

“So, uh, Jared.”

Jared looked up, raising his eyebrows in answer. Jensen swallowed the bite of sandwich he’d taken, then spoke again.

“What are you up to these days?”

Jared swallowed his bite, then smiled.

“I’m a partner at Padalecki and Sons. Dad swears I did work for the job, but…”  
“Bullshit.”

The men all laughed at JD’s muttered curse, and Jared nodded.

“I know. But it was always my dream to work with him and Matt, so…”

Jensen nodded.

“And you’re where now?”  
“Uh, Boston. Dad moved the practice when I graduated law school. Wanted to give a big city a try.”

Jensen and JD nodded, and Jensen spoke softly.

“How’s your mom doing? And Matt, did he…?”  
“Yeah, Matt married Julie, finally, and they’ve got Aaron and Grace, who are four and like three months old. Mom spends most of her time spoiling them.”  
“Oh, wow. Ol’ Matty finally caved, huh?”

Jared laughed.

“Yeah, finally. We actually had a bet going, to see how long Julie would hold out. I almost won, but I knocked some sense into Matt first, to move it or lose it.”

They all went silent, and Jared stared down at the rest of his sandwich, his appetite suddenly gone. Jensen lifted his eyes, still hidden behind those damn sunglasses, and spoke again.

“What about you?”

Jared swallowed, pushing a smile on his face.

“What about me?”  
“You know what I’m asking.”  
“Jack, maybe we should—“  
“It’s a simple question, Jeff.”

JD nodded, glancing down at a patch of grass. Jared swallowed again.

“I, uh … I’m actually engaged.”

JD’s head slowly turned to Jared, and Jensen reached up, pulling the shades off his eyes.

“What?”

Jared nodded, staring down at the sandwich he was holding in his hands.

“Her name’s Genevieve, and she’s great. We work together, and—“  
“You’re shitting me.”  
“Jack.”

Jensen shook his head, moving to his knees.

“ _You_ are engaged?”

Jared nodded.

“To a woman?”  
“Jensen—“  
“You couldn’t stand women, Jay. At least, not like that. What … what do you mean you’re getting married?”  
“Well, she … she’s had a rough life, and she … She knows how I am, so—“  
“Wait, wait. ‘How you are?’ What the fuck does that mean?”  
“Jack, calm down, son.”

Jensen let out a laugh.

“No, I can … Oh my god, I don’t believe this.”

He stood up, staring down at Jared, green eyes hard as crystals.

“You’re marrying a woman to save face, aren’t you? So no one knows your deep, dark secret?”  
“Jensen, it’s not—“  
“Don’t tell me it’s not like that, because it’s _exactly like that._ Son of a bitch.”

He let out another laugh, hard and full of scorn.

“I guess some things never change.”

Jared felt his heart fall to his knees as Jensen stood up, kicking the water bottle he’d been drinking from. He just sat and watched as Jensen swung himself back up on his horse, flying off as he let the horse run, putting even more distance between them.

*-*-*-*-*-*

_Eleven Years Earlier_

Jensen slammed the apartment door, pushing his hands through his hair and shaking his head. He bit his lip until he tasted blood, but that only made him angrier. He walked into the bedroom, letting out a laugh as he yanked the comforter off the bed. There was really no reason to do that; he was just feeling petty.

He yanked his tie loose, pulling it from his shirt and throwing it on the floor. Every other item of clothing was removed with equal ferocity, and he stomped to the bathroom, turning on the shower, getting the water as hot as he could stand it, and climbing inside. 

He hung his head, bracing his hands on the wall and letting out a long sigh as he let the water pound on his back. He squirted shampoo into his hand, scrubbing it over his head, reaching and grabbing body wash without realizing which one he grabbed. He groaned when he smelled it, the smell he’d forever associate with Jared, but went ahead and washed his body with it anyway. 

The water was still hot when he turned it off, stepping out of the shower and shaking his head to get the water out of his hair. He grabbed a towel and dried himself off, then tied the towel around his waist. He stood at the sink, looking at himself in the mirror, and decided against shaving. He brushed his teeth and flossed—mainly because he despised the dentist—and walked back to the bedroom.

Jared looked up at him from his spot on the bed, what Jensen referred to as his “puppy dog eyes” cranked up to 1000. Jensen shook his head, going to the dresser.

“Jen—“  
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

Jared nodded, then let out a sigh.

“You gotta let me—“  
“No, see, that’s where you’re wrong. I don’t ‘got’ to do anything. You sure as hell didn’t.”  
“Jensen, I … I couldn’t.”

Jensen let out a laugh.

“No, Jay. You could have. You _didn’t_. There’s a difference.”

Jared dragged a hand over his face, moving to pull one leg up onto the bed, watching as Jensen slid a pair of boxers on, rifling through the drawer for a t-shirt. He stopped, put both of his hands onto the dresser, then spoke softly.

“Is it me?”  
“What?”

Jensen shook his head.

“Are you ashamed of me?”  
“How could you ever think that?”

Jensen turned back, heart thumping at the pain visible on Jared’s face.

“You act like I’m one of your buddies in public. You don’t hug me or hold my hand. Kissing me is not even in the same zip code as we are. And then tonight, your parents’ best friends, you tell them I’m your roommate?”

Jared let out a shaky sigh.

“Jen, listen.”  
“Answer the question, Jay. Are you ashamed of me?”  
“No.”

Jared answered the question without a second thought, and Jensen nodded. Jared stood up, walking over to where Jensen was still standing at the dresser and slid his arms around him. Jensen sighed, weakly pushing him away, but Jared held him tighter. Jensen finally sighed, resting back against him, closing his eyes at the warmth Jared gave off, even through his clothes. 

Jensen let out a breath, then turned around, wrapping his hands around Jared’s biceps. Jared smiled, moving his hand to brush his knuckles over Jensen’s cheek. 

“I’m not ashamed of you. I could never be. I love you, Jen. I’m just …”

He sighed.

“There is so much we’ve got to do. Get internships, establish clients—“  
“Get out of law school first?”

Jared let out a laugh.

“It’s just … Everybody’s watching us, Jen.”

Jensen let out a sigh, then nodded.

“I get it.”  
“Jen—“  
“No, it’s fine.”

He went up on his toes a bit and pressed a kiss to Jared’s mouth.

“I’m going to go ahead to bed. Long day tomorrow, you know?”  
“Jen, come on.”

Jensen walked over, stubbornly not looking at Jared as he pulled the covers down enough for him to climb in bed. Jared sighed, pushing his hands through his hair before he turned and walked into the bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

**NINE**

Sam glanced up from the pair of jeans she was patching for JD at the sound of the door slamming. She heard the refrigerator open and shut, heard hard footsteps crossing the floor, and she set the jeans aside, standing to her feet and walking to the doorway between the den and the kitchen, adjusting the thin sweater she was wearing.

“Jensen?”

Green eyes flashed as he looked to her, and a harsh laugh sounded in the kitchen. Sam swallowed, then blinked against the memory that threatened. Jensen shook his head, turning to face her, laying his hands on the countertop that separated them.

“Did you know?”  
“Know what?”  
“That JD was bringing him here?”

Sam shook her head.

“No, he didn’t … He didn’t tell anyone. I found out ten minutes before you did.”  
“You’ve talked to Jared, though. I know you have. He tell you why he’s here?”

Sam pursed her lips and shook her head.

“No. We’ve mostly talked about you—“  
“No. Do not finish that sentence.”

Jensen turned away and pushed his hands through his hair, then faced her again.

“He’s engaged.”  
“What?”  
“Yeah. To a woman named Genevieve.”

Sam closed her eyes, shaking her head, confusion filling the blue when she opened her eyes again.

“What are you talking about?”  
“I’m talking about the fact that he’s still lying to himself and every-fuckin’-body else. He doesn’t love the girl, but he’s marrying her so no one in Boston will know he’s gay.”  
“Jensen…”  
“Don’t take his side, Sam. For one goddamn time, please.”

He looked at her when he heard the sharp intake of breath, and she swallowed, nodding her head.

“I can’t believe you think … You need to go. Cool down somewhere, and not at the bar.”  
“Sam—“  
“Go, Jensen.”

He slammed his hands on the counter, then rounded it, doing his best to ignore the flinch she gave when he walked by her before he slammed the door again. Sam walked back into the living room, sitting down hard on the couch, hands clenching and loosening as she closed her eyes, gently rocking back and forth.

*-*-*-*-*-*

JD found her like that close to an hour later. He stepped in the house, brows furrowing when he didn’t smell dinner in the oven or on the stove like he usually did.

“Sam?”

No answer. He slipped his boots off at the door—a habit she’d drilled into his skull—and walked through the kitchen in his socked feet. He glanced at the clock, brows furrowing again. She was always there at this time of day. Sam was nothing if not a creature of habit, and JD tried to ignore the churn of his gut.

“Sammy, you here?”

He walked out of the kitchen, going for the den, coming to a hard stop in the doorway. 

“Sam.”

She didn’t answer. She didn’t move. It was like she couldn’t even hear him. His mouth went dry, and he walked over to the couch, hitting his knees in front of her.

He thought they’d gotten past this. 

JD licked his lips, looking up to see tear tracks on her beautiful face, her baby blue eyes clenched shut, hands opening and closing at a rapid pace, crushing her lips between her teeth. He let out a shaky sigh, reaching over to lay his hands over hers. Her eyes flew open, and when they registered his face, she let out a sob, sliding off of the couch and into his arms. JD turned them where he was leaning his back against the couch, one arm holding her close, one hand stroking her blonde hair.

“I got you, baby. You’re all right. You’re okay, Sam. I’ve got you.”

It wasn’t long until she was breathing easier, if still shakily. JD made no move to let her go, and she made no move to leave his embrace. She reached down, lacing her fingers through his, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry.”  
“Do not apologize. Hey.”

She shook her head, moving to push her forehead against his jaw. JD closed his eyes, then lifted her hand to press his lips against the back. He felt her breath against his neck, and a few seconds later, she spoke softly.

“Jensen was … he was so mad.”  
“Did he—“  
“No. No, honey, he … He wouldn’t.”

Sam made a shushing noise when she felt JD tense, moving one of her hands up and down his back, gently scratching. He let out a sigh, and she spoke again.

“I knew I was okay, and that he was fine, but he was … he was so mad and so hurt. I made him leave before—“

She coughed, shaking her head, and JD tightened his hold on her just a bit.

“It was nothing, really. But when he slammed the door as he left, I just … I was right back there again.”

She turned into him, and JD sighed, moving them to wrap both of his arms around her as she buried her face in the crook of his neck.

“I got you, baby. You remember what I told you? When you showed up at my door that night in the rain?”

She nodded, but made no move to speak, so he answered his own question.

“I told you that I’d keep you safe, that you’d never have to worry about anybody hurting you ever again.”  
“I know.”  
“You’re safe, sweetheart. I’ve got you, and I’m not letting you go.”

JD held her for the longest time, dragging his fingertips up and down her spine. After what seemed like forever, she pulled back from him, reaching up to push her hair out of her face, sniffling and wiping her tears away. JD smiled at her, reaching up to push her hair behind her ear. 

That was when they both noticed how close they were in that moment. When JD could feel her breath against his lips and Sam realized she was straddling his legs. She swallowed as his hand came up to cradle her cheek, and she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. JD sat up straighter, leaned forward…

And flinched in unison with Sam as the door opened and closed. She stood up on shaky legs, turning away from him, and JD drew his legs up, putting his head in his hands and letting out a shaky breath. Jared walked into the room, coming to a stop when he saw Sam.

“Hey, did … Are you all right?”

She lifted her head, seeing him and smiling.

“Yeah, bud. I’m fine.”  
“You sure? You look like you’ve been crying.”

Sam shook her head.

“I’m okay. Are you?”

Jared sighed, reaching a hand up to scratch his head.

“Not … no. Do you know where Jensen went? I need to … I don’t know. Explain some things, I guess.”

JD gave a hard laugh.

“Good luck with that.”

He groaned as he pushed himself up from the floor, wincing as his spine popped. 

“Check the barn. He might still be dealing with the horses.”  
“If the gray truck’s gone, then so is he.”

Jared nodded, smiling softly as he turned and walked out of the house. Sam let out a sigh, and JD walked up behind her.

“Sammy, we—“  
“I haven’t even started on anything for dinner. I’m sorry.”  
“What? No. Hey, it’s fine.”

She sighed, glancing over her shoulder and giving him a smile.

“I could whip something up real quick, or we can take some of the steaks out of the freezer and you could grill them up for us?”

JD smiled, nodding his head.

“Sure thing.”

Sam smiled, walking into the kitchen, leaving him standing in the den. He reached a hand up to rub absently at the ache in his chest, then followed after her.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared found him in the barn. Chris Kane was talking to him, voice pitched low, and he straightened his shoulders when he saw Jared hovering by the door. Jensen turned and saw the reason Chris looked ready for a fight, and he let out a laugh.

“I would not come around here if I was you.”  
“We need to talk.”  
“No, I think everything’s been said.”  
“Jen—“  
“Don’t call me that.”

Jared flinched, closing his eyes. Jensen lifted the saddle from his horse and walked it over, hanging it where it stayed. 

“You can go, Jared. I’m fine.”  
“You’re not. And I feel like we need to talk.”

Jensen pursed his lips and nodded his head, picking up a brush.

“I think we did all the talking ten years ago. I’ve got nothing left to say.”

Jared slowly nodded, backing out of the barn and hanging his head as he walked back to the house. Chris made his way over to Jensen, shaking his head. After a moment, Jensen blew out his breath, turning to lift an eyebrow at his friend.

“What?”  
“It’s just … odd.”  
“What is?”  
“How someone as damn big as that guy can make himself look so small.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

“Hello?”  
 _“Jared? Oh, honey. I’m so glad to hear your voice. How are you?”_  
“Mom, I … I don’t know.”

Jared clutched the phone in his hand, staring out over the front yard, watching the dog gnaw on some bone. It had been two days since the disaster of a picnic/horseback ride, and Jared could feel himself sinking. So, he did the only thing he knew to do, the only thing he thought could have a hope of helping him.

He called his mom.

_“What’s the matter, honey?”_  
“Everything. I’ve messed up so bad, Mom.”  
 _”Well, you know what you’ve got to do?”_  
“What?”  
 _“Fix it.”_

Jared let out a harsh-sounding laugh.

“That’s a hell of a lot easier said than done.”  
 _“Jared, I’m going to tell you a few things that you’ve heard an awful lot over the last decade. Your father and I love you just the way you are. Matt and Julie and the kids are crazy about you. Your friends—your true friends—know you and love you. Your biggest problem is you, son.”_

Jared shook his head, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

“I made a promise to Genevieve.”  
 _“Sometimes promises are meant to be broken.”_  
“Mom, seriously?”  
 _“Seriously.”_

Jared couldn’t stop the smile that spread over his face.

“What if it’s too late?”  
 _“What if it’s not? You’ll never know unless you try, sweetheart.”_

Jared nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

_”Talk to him, Jared. Sit down and lay it all out, once and for all. You owe it to the both of you. I love you, sweetheart, and you know that you can call me anytime.”_  
“I know. Thanks, Mom. I love you, too.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared found Jensen back behind the barn, a cigarette between his lips. Jensen let out a laugh when he saw him, shaking his head as he took a long drag.

“Don’t tell on me and I won’t steal your lunch money.”

Jared let out a laugh of his own.

“Deal.”

Jensen breathed out a long train of smoke, then flicked the ash off the end of the cigarette. He looked down at it and shrugged his shoulders before he looked back to Jared.

“JD used to smoke when I was growing up. Said it was all he could do to keep from killing me sometimes. Sam doesn’t like it, though, so he stopped. I sneak one every now and then, way back here, and work off the smell by hanging around the horses.”  
“You’ve got this all worked out, haven’t you?”  
“I’m nothing if not cunning.”

Jared snorted as he rolled his eyes. Jensen took one last long drag, holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment before he breathed it out again. Jared swallowed, looking away for a moment, then back to Jensen’s face.

“Can we talk?”  
“About the weather, or…?”

Jared sighed, and Jensen nodded.

“Yeah, I figured you wanted to have a ‘big talk.’”

Jared couldn’t help the tiny smile at the air quotes Jensen used, and they both looked up as thunder sounded in the distance. Jensen’s brows were furrowed as he glanced back at the house.

“Was it supposed to rain today?”  
“So we actually are going to talk about the weather?”

Jensen let out a laugh, and Jared smiled as he went up on his toes, then back down. Jensen shook his head.

“Come on. If that storm’s rolling in like I think it will, we’ve got to get these horses in quick.”  
“What about the cows?”  
“Oh, they’ll be fine.”

Jared shrugged his shoulders and jogged off after Jensen.

*-*-*-*-*-*

“Damn it.”

Sam heard the muttered curse from her place in the living room, and she pulled her sweater closer around her as she walked into the kitchen. She couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up and out her mouth, and JD glanced up from toeing his boots off, then narrowed his eyes at her. She smiled and shook her head.

“You are soaked.”  
“No kidding. Damn storm’s been thundering all day, and do we get a warning drop or two? Hell, no. The bottom fell out, and we’re all drenched.”  
“Where are—“  
“Jack went back to his place, said something about puppies or something?”  
“Oh, Dixie had her puppies and they were all under the back porch!”

JD smiled, untucking his shirt from his pants and starting to unbutton it.

“Yeah, that’s what he said, and as soon as the word ‘puppies’ left his mouth, Jared was right behind him. Jared might have been in front of him, actually. Kid always did have a soft spot for animals.”

JD groaned as he slid the soaked shirt off his shoulders, reaching back and pulling his white t-shirt over his head.

“Might be March, but that wind and the rain? Friggin’ cold.”

Sam swallowed when she saw his bare torso, long and lean and damp from the rain. 

“Sweetheart? That for you or me?”

Sam glanced down at the towel in her hands, one she’d hurried and grabbed from the dryer for him. Her cheeks flushed and she stepped closer to him, holding it out.

“Sorry, I … for you.”

JD smiled, groaning as he slid the towel over his face, then draped it over his shoulders. His hands went to the button on his jeans and he stopped, looking over and seeing Sam’s eyes on his chest. He licked his lips and she lifted her eyes to his. She gave him a soft smile, and he cleared his throat, speaking softly.

“I, uh … I’d rather not traipse water all through here for you to clean up.”

She nodded.

“I’d appreciate it.”  
“Think I’ll go take a hot shower.”

She nodded again, cheeks burning as she took a step back.

“You can … leave your jeans there. I can … I can get them.”  
“You don’t have to.”

She met his eyes, nodding.

“I know.”

JD nodded, and she turned and hurried from the room. He turned and knocked his head against the wall for a moment, then pushed the jeans off, gathering them in his arms, and tying the towel around his waist as he carried his wet clothes to the laundry room.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jensen shook his head, water dripping down his face. He glanced up to see Jared standing over him, hands full of wriggling little puppies. He knelt beside Jensen, placing the puppies in the box Jensen had somehow unearthed and set in the laundry room.

“That’s six and seven.”  
“All present and accounted for, then.”  
“Thank God. That wind is icy.”

Jared stood up and gave a full-body shiver. Jensen realized that his own teeth were chattering, and he sniffled.

“There’s a shower down here. In my old—“  
“I remember.”

Jensen slowly nodded, then clapped him on the back.

“Go warm up. We can dry your clothes while we wait for the storm to pass. I’ve got something in the fridge to eat, I’m sure.”  
“What about you? Your clothes are—“  
“There’s a shower upstairs too, Jay.”

Jared’s ears went red and Jensen let out a laugh. Jared sneezed, and Jensen shook his head.

“Go before you catch pneumonia and make me explain it to your mother.”

Jared laughed as he hurried from the room, pulling his shirt off as he went. Jensen got a look at his back, golden-brown muscled skin and swallowed hard. He shook his head, pushing a hand through his hair. He tugged his own clothes off, glancing in the box once more to make sure the puppies had settled, then hurried up to his own shower.

*-*-*-*-*-*

JD walked into the kitchen, hair still wet, in a pair of dark sweatpants and a light gray t-shirt. Sam was at the stove, slowly stirring a large pot, and JD had to fight not to step up behind her and grab hold of her hips as he nuzzled her neck.

Instead, he cleared his throat, and she glanced back, a flush crossing her beautiful face.

“Better now?”

JD smiled.

“Much better.”

Sam smiled, turning back to face the pot. JD swallowed, clenching his eyes shut when she reached out, going up on her toes and causing a sliver of skin to be visible under her shirt. She set a couple of bowls onto the counter and turned to him, a smile on her face.

“Beef stew. Something hearty and manly for this weather.”

JD smiled.

“Thanks, sweetheart.”  
“Anytime, cowboy.”

She fixed him up a bowl and he carried it over to the counter, sitting down on a stool. She made herself a bowl and walked over, standing across from him and leaning over the counter. JD licked his lips, then lifted his eyes to hers.

“You wanna sit?”

Sam smiled.

“Nah. I’m good here.”

JD shook his head, and they were quiet as they ate for a while. JD finally broke the silence.

“They seemed … Not comfortable around each other, but easier.”  
“I sent Jared out to find him earlier. I’m sure he ran into him while he was smoking behind the barn.”

JD smiled.

“It kills me how he thinks he’s sneaking around and we don’t know about it.”  
“He thinks he’s smart, and I can’t even imagine where he would learn a trick like that.”

Sam gave him a pointed stare, and JD gave a sound of disbelief.

“Miss Smith, are you accusing me of corrupting my nephew?”  
“Oh, please. You were doing that long before I came along. Kid never stood a chance.”

JD laughed.

“All right, all right.”

Sam smiled, carrying her bowl over to the sink. JD looked down, pushing the vegetables in his bowl around with his spoon.

“Do you think they can get their shit together?”

Sam let out a sigh.

“I certainly hope so. Jensen hasn’t been himself since … well, everything.”  
“He was crazy about Jared back then.”  
“He still is.”

JD lifted his head, watching Sam as she stared out the little window above the sink, blinking and jumping a little when a flash of lightning illuminated the darkness.

“You think so?”

She turned her head, a soft smile on her face.

“I know so, Jeff.”  
“How can you tell?”  
“It’s easy to see. He’s more relaxed, like having Jared here where he can see him is a weight off of him. He watches him constantly, with this little smile on his face, and he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. But Jared watches Jensen the same way, when he thinks no one else is looking.”

JD sighed, leaning back in his seat, nodding when Sam made a motion to take his bowl away. She refilled it, setting it back in front of him, and he gave her a smile.

“How did you know?”  
“I’ve been around you a good long time, cowboy. I think I know you pretty well.”

JD nodded as he looked back down at his bowl. He let out a sigh, shaking his head.

“I’m worried, Sam.”  
“I know. I am, too.”

He lifted his eyes to hers, and she shrugged her shoulders.

“Jensen was so hurt when he left Jared all those years ago. It took us forever to get him back, and even when we did—“  
“He wasn’t the same.”

Sam nodded, biting her lip. She turned her head, staring intently at the faucet, and after a second, JD spoke softly.

“Sammy?”

She blinked and looked to him, then put a smile on her face.

“I’m all right.”  
“Honey—“  
“No, I … I am.”

She turned to rifle through the cabinets and drawers for a moment, ladling the soup into a big bowl to save for later. She spoke softly, as JD finished his meal.

“I know Jensen’s older and wiser now, and that things are so different than they used to be, but … I really don’t know what will happen if he and Jared don’t sort everything out.”  
“I know.”

She turned around, blue eyes shining as she shook her head at JD.

“They’re perfect for each other. They are meant to be together, and I don’t understand why they just aren’t.”

JD felt a sharp pain dead-center in his chest. He swallowed, the kitchen fading away until all he could hear was the voice of his big sister, Jensen’s mother, in his ears.

_“Jeffrey Dean, I swear to God. Stop fiddlin’ around and just do it.”_

He’d been seven years old and Missy had been referring to the horse he’d gotten thrown from. It had scared him half to death, and he swore he’d never ride another animal as long as he lived. But his big sister, thirteen years older than him and his idol, had marched him out to the barn and made him get back on the horse. She’d swung right up behind him in the saddle, one arm wrapped around him as she led the horse on a slow trot around the field. 

He felt the same emotions now as he did when he stared down that horse. But he also felt a pang of grief, because he missed Missy so bad sometimes he could barely stand it. Times like this, when he felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, were when he needed his wise big sister the most. Thing was, he knew exactly what she’d say.

_”Do it, big guy. Morgans don’t sit around. They go for the gold. Jump, Jeff.”_

He blinked, seeing Sam’s back as she walked the soup to the refrigerator and set it inside. She closed the door, hand resting on the handle.

“I don’t get it either.”

She glanced over her shoulder, and JD went on.

“How two people can be so perfect for each other, but so … I don’t know. Stupid or stubborn or scared, I suppose.”  
“JD, what are you …”  
“It’s taken them ten years to find their way to each other again, but you’ve been right in front of me for over twenty years, Sam.”

Her eyes widened and she turned away from the refrigerator as JD stood up from his chair. She shook her head, and he slowly rounded the counter.

“I have been in love with you for so many years I’ve done lost count. But I’ve been too stupid to do anything about it.”  
“JD.”  
“Seeing those boys and how torn up they were when it didn’t work out with them … You were so young back then, Sammy. I’m so much older than you, and I didn’t want you to—“  
“Eleven years is not a long time, JD.”

He went still and quiet, and she let out a laugh, shaking her head as tears slid down her cheeks. 

“I’ve been too scared that I’d end up like one of my parents. My father couldn’t stick around, and my mother … It nearly destroyed her when he left. Until she found the next guy, and the one after that, and then the one who introduced her to the booze.”

She sniffled, lifting a hand to wipe at her eyes.

“And then I came here and saw how happy Missy and Bill were, and I thought, ‘maybe I could have something like that.’ But when we lost them …”

She closed her eyes, crossing her arms over her stomach. 

“Jensen was ten. I was nine, and you were barely twenty. You couldn’t even buy yourself a beer, and you were—“  
“Listen to me.”

JD walked over, untangling her hands from around her waist and holding them in his own. 

“Losing them was the worst thing that ever happened, even after losing my own folks. But that kid saved my life more than once. I worshiped the ground Missy walked on, and when the only way I could repay her was to raise her son, I would do the same exact thing over and over again.”

Sam let out a sob, and JD shook his head.

“You’re a year younger than Jensen, but you’ve always been more mature than anyone I’ve ever known. You weren’t even a teenager and you were mothering both of us the best way you knew how.”

Sam shrugged her shoulders.

“Missy took me in and cared for me when she didn’t have to. The least I could do was the same thing for her boys.”

JD swallowed, and Sam lifted wet eyes to his.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve years old. I’ve always thought you were handsome, but I really fell for you when I could finally understand what love really meant.”

JD closed his eyes, and Sam lifted a shaky hand, resting it against his cheek.

“I’m tired of running, Jeff. And I don’t want … I don’t want to be like the boys or my parents. I just—“

He leaned down, cupping her face in his hands as he kissed her lips. Her arms looped around his neck and his hands slid down to her hips, pulling her as close as he could. The lights in the kitchen flickered once, then shut off completely, and JD moved to lift Sam into his arms, holding her close as he carried her down the hall and up the stairs to his bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

****

TEN

Jared and Jensen managed to eat before the lights shut off. A particularly loud clap of thunder shook the house, and they agreed that they’d stay put and light the candles Sam had somehow littered throughout the house. They met up in the living room, candles set up on nearly every available surface, bathing the place in a soft, golden glow. Jensen shook his head.

“There is everything from cherry coconut to cinnamon apple flavor. Are candles flavored?”

Jared shrugged his shoulders, and Jensen let out a sigh as he sat on the couch.

“Anyway, it might be smelling pretty rank in here soon.”

Jared let out a laugh, sitting on the couch, the opposite end from Jensen. They were quiet for a moment, until Jared spoke up.

“Jen, we … Sorry. _Jensen_ , we need to talk.”

Jensen let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, I guess we do.”

Jared licked his lips, leaning over, slowly rubbing his hands together. He took in a deep breath, letting it out in a rush before he spoke.

“I have regretted letting you go every single day since you left.”

Jensen closed his eyes at that, then spoke softly.

“Well, I’ve regretted leaving, so…”

Jared swallowed, then spoke again.

“I don’t really remember those first few months after you left. I was in a fog, you know? Chad moved in and made me get up for class, shower, eat. He practically carried me to class every day, then forced me to study, eat, and go to sleep. I was a zombie, and how I didn’t fail everything, I still don’t know.”  
“Because you’re a genius.”

Jared snorted.

“I’m really not.”  
“Jay, come on. You were the top of your class.”

Hazel eyes flew up and met green ones.

“How do you know that?”  
“What, you think I just washed my hands of you?”

Jared blinked.

“Yeah, Jen—Jensen. That’s what it felt like.”

Jensen licked his lips.

“Jay… I knew that if I was going to go, I had to go completely. I couldn’t hang around and half-ass it, no matter how bad I wanted to. I asked Jeff if he knew some way I could keep an eye on you, and he did. I don’t know exactly how, but I didn’t ask questions. When I knew you were okay…”

Jensen cleared his throat, looking away, down to the floor. Jared let the silence hang for a moment, then spoke softly.

“I wasn’t okay. I was messed up, Jen. I … I’m still messed up.”  
“Jay—“  
“No, I … you were right the other day. I’m marrying a woman I don’t even love because I’m too afraid to really be myself.”  
“Why?”

Jared looked up, meeting Jensen’s gaze. Jensen licked his lips again, that awful, wonderfully distracting habit he had, and spoke.

“What are you so afraid of?”

Jared pushed a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know. I know that sounds like a cop-out, but I swear to God, it’s not. I honestly don’t know what I’m so afraid of. But thinking about it just makes me …”

He gasped, closing his eyes and shaking his head, and he let out a harsh puff of breath when he felt the gentle hand rubbing his back.

“Easy, Jay. Take it easy. Breathe, baby.”

Jared slowly let out a stilted breath, and Jensen continued to rub his back until Jared finally nodded and moved to rest back against the couch. He slouched down and rested his head against the cushions, and Jensen swallowed around the lump that was suddenly in his throat. Jared looked over to him and Jensen gave him a small smile, then sighed.

“My turn?”

Jared smiled, and Jensen lifted a hand to rub at his neck.

“I need to tell you some things. Well, a lot of things, and I just need you to listen for a while, okay?”

Jared nodded, and Jensen blew out a breath as he scrubbed his hands over his face.

“I tried my best to put on a brave face for you, but packing my stuff and leaving our apartment was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I had to bury both my parents.” 

Jared sat up, and Jensen shook his head, looking down at the ground as he spoke.

“Leaving you hurt me more than I ever imagined. I came home and I did everything but drown myself in alcohol. I did everything I could to run this ranch into the ground, but Jeff’s a smart son of a bitch. A long time ago, before I even left for school, he fixed a will or a trust or something and filled it with loopholes and all kinds of shit to keep me from fucking everything up.”

He gave a quiet laugh at that, then went on.

“Sam was here, of course, right with Jeff, taking care of me, saving my ass. She kept telling me how she wanted me to go back to school, finish out my degree. So I did, at UT, and I met Chris.”

Jared’s mouth dropped open, but he quickly shut it. Jensen scrubbed a hand over his face.

“I really thought I loved him. He loved me, I know that. I brought him here and he fell in love with the ranch. He moved in after we graduated, we told people he was my partner, and whenever I’d get real drunk and call him ‘Jay,’ he didn’t ask questions.”

Jared closed his eyes, and Jensen hung his head, then went on.

“Chris and I … I don’t know. It just never felt right to me. We tried to make it work, but we finally decided we’d be better off as friends. He moved out of here and went to work for Jeff, bought a little place in town and started building himself a house. And I lost myself again.”

Jensen licked his lips, staring at the candle on the table in front of him. Jared didn’t dare speak a word, but his stomach was in knots. Jensen’s voice shook just a bit as he spoke again.

“I went back to drinking. I drove every single person who gave a shit about me away. But Jeff knew me and all my tricks, and he wouldn’t give up on me. I—“

He stopped, wiping his hands on his jeans before he stood up, pacing the floor a bit. He walked over and leaned against the mantle, taking in a shaky breath, letting it out slowly.

“I knew Sam wasn’t going to go easy. She’d been with me as far back as I could remember. I got … I got so drunk one night. I can’t even remember what I—“

Jensen put his hand over his mouth, letting out another long breath before he could continue.

“Chris told me later that I just roughed her up. Bruised up her arms when I grabbed her and shook her. Sm—“

He clenched his eyes shut, forcing himself to continue.

“Smacked her around, gave her a black eye, busted up some of her ribs. I thought it was a dream.”

Jensen shook his head, pushing away from the mantle, pushing his hands through his hair. 

“I dreamed about a punching bag, taking my frustrations out on it. But it wasn’t a punching bag. It was Sam, and it was real, and thank God I passed out.”

He put his hands on his hips, lifting his face to the ceiling and closing his eyes. His voice was quiet when he spoke again.

“All I remember is Jeff shaking me until I woke up. And when I did wake up, he beat the ever-living shit out of me. It took Chris and two other guys to pull him off of me, and I spent a week in the hospital.”

Jared put a hand over his mouth, and Jensen moved his hand to rub at his chest.

“Sam assures me that I didn’t do half of what I was afraid I’d done. I just roughed her up a bit. Scared her real bad. She left the house and ran to Jeff’s, spent the night crying on his sofa and not letting him leave her side. She fell asleep somewhere around sunrise and Jeff walked the two miles here.”

Jensen swallowed again.

“It makes me sick to think of what I could have done. And I deserved every single hit JD landed on me.”  
“Jen, you didn’t—“  
“Yes, I did.”

Tears were sparkling in green eyes when he turned and looked at Jared.

“I told Sam when we were thirteen, after I lost my parents, that she was the only woman I’d ever love. And then I grow up and beat her when I’m drunk. Who … who does that?”

He shook his head, wiping his hand over his mouth.

“I was in such a bad place. I’d been fucked up for a good long time, and I knew it, but when I hurt Sam… Jeff came to the hospital and I looked him in the eyes and told him I wanted to die.”

Jared’s choked-off gasp made Jensen close his eyes.

“He leaned over the bed, got right in my face and told me that he would wait until I was released from the hospital and beat the shit out of me again. He told me that he’d lost everything, and that I was all he had, and he wasn’t about to let me go.”

Jensen shook his head.

“After everything I’d done… I was a drunk, I was reckless, I was mean and spiteful, and I’d hurt the one person who’d never done anything to me. And even after all of that, Jeff was still there. I pushed everyone else away, but he was the one who pushed back.”

He licked his lips, slowly pacing again as he spoke.

“He got this … I don’t know what she is exactly. Nurse? Therapist? Anyway, Jeff got Dan to move down to the ranch. We’d go out to the barn and mess with the horses, rake out the stalls, sometimes even go out and work the cattle, and we’d just talk. She stayed right there with me, not pushing or judging or anything. She just listened and offered her two cents every now and then, and I swear to God, she saved me.”

He turned to Jared, a soft smile on his lips.

“You’d like her. Dan’s great. She and Chris are actually engaged.”  
“Really?”

Jensen let out a quiet laugh.

“Yeah. She travels a lot, though, so she hasn’t been home for a while.”

Jared smiled, and Jensen let out a sigh.

“I still drink, but not as much as I used to. Jeff helped me dry out, put the bartenders on alert. I actually haven’t had a drink in a good long while, until you showed up out of the clear blue.”

Jared closed his eyes, and Jensen sighed again, walking back to the couch.

“Hey. Don’t do that.”  
“What?”  
“Blame yourself.”

Jared let out a humorless laugh.

“Why not?”  
“Because it’s not your fault.”  
“Jen—“  
“It isn’t. It’s mine. The things I did are just that. Things _I_ did. I’m the responsible one.”  
“Yeah, but I facilitated it.”

Jensen reached over, laying his hand on top of Jared’s.

“I’m okay now. I talk to Dan at least once a week, more if I need it. She doesn’t push, and neither does anyone else. Jeff tells me to call whenever, and he means it. I called him one night at 2:30 and he came right over here and talked with me ‘til the sun came up.”

Jared shook his head. 

“I am so sorry, Jen.”  
“Jay—“  
“No, I … I’m just … so sorry.”

Jensen closed his eyes, then leaned over and wrapped his arms around Jared. Jared let out a shaky breath, then moved his face to the place he always had, right where Jensen’s neck met his shoulder. He felt Jensen’s hand card through his hair and he closed his eyes. Jensen’s voice was soft, rumbling up through his chest.

“It’s okay, Jay. I … I forgave you a long time ago. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jared let out a laugh, shaking his head.

“How can you say that? You left, Jen. And it was because of me.”  
“Lift up.”

Jared sniffled and sighed, then sat up, pushing a hand over his face. He met Jensen’s eyes, and Jensen gave him a smile.

“Dan and I talked about you a lot. She helped me see that you’ve got some sort of anxiety something about being gay, and that you’ve got to be the one to try and fix it, not me. You didn’t do anything wrong, Jay. I should have been … I don’t know. More … reassuring, maybe? I could have bent a little more instead of demanding that you bend for me.”  
“Jen—“  
“No, we should have …”

Jensen sighed.

“We can sit here all day and say what we should have done, but it’s too late for that. Everything in the past is just that. It’s in the past now.”

Jared nodded, tears suddenly filling his eyes.

“Jen, I … I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”  
“Nothing’s wrong with you, Jay.”

Jared nodded.

“Yes, it is. I love you, and I have for almost thirteen years, but we’re not together because of me.”

Jared leaned over again, putting his face in his hands, and Jensen swallowed, gently rubbing his back again. He made his voice as gentle as he could.

“I want you to stop thinking that you’re wrong or messed up or whatever. You’re amazing, Jay. You’re a great lawyer and you’re one of the best men I have ever known.”

Jared let out a breath, tears coursing down his cheeks and a weight on his shoulders. The storm raged on outside, but it was nothing compared to the storm in Jared’s heart.

*-*-*-*-*-*

“I need to apologize.”

Jared looked up from the Coke Jensen had pushed into his hand. They would have preferred coffee, but with the power still out and the storm still going strong, they had to settle for cans Jensen stealthily took from his fridge.

Jensen stood up from where he’d been crouched down, starting a fire in the fireplace. He wiped his hands on his jeans, watching the flames crackle and pop for a moment. Jared stood up from the couch and walked over, letting out a breath as he sat down in front of the fire.

“I hadn’t realized how cool I was ‘til now.”

Jensen let out a laugh.

“Yeah, me either.”

Jensen walked and grabbed his can from beside the couch, walking over and sitting on the other side of the fireplace, still somewhat close to Jared. He took a long drink, then Jared spoke.

“What do you need to apologize for?”

Jensen sighed.

“The way I acted the other day. When you told us you were …”

He shook his head.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did.”  
“It’s the truth, though.”

Jared looked down at his Coke, and Jensen moved his foot to gently kick Jared’s. 

“Tell me about her.”

Jared gave him a half-smile.

“Her name is Genevieve Cortese. She’s really sweet. Dark brown hair, dark eyes. She’s like five-foot-tall, so she barely reaches my waist.”

Jensen let out a laugh, and Jared’s smile widened a bit. 

“We work together. She’s a paralegal and she’s damn good at it. We became friends right after I graduated and she got hired on at the firm. She’s real quiet, keeps to herself. We … I don’t know. It was easy with her. She doesn’t expect—or really, want—anything from me.”

Jensen raised an eyebrow, a puzzled look on his face. Jared sighed.

“She had a really rough upbringing. Her dad left when she was just a baby, and her mom couldn’t be alone. She bounced from guy to guy, and the ones she picked were just awful. Genevieve was abused in a lot of ways, and she can’t trust anyone. When I told her I was gay, it was like I could see the relief on her face.”

Jared shook his head.

“We kind of came up with the idea of pretending to be together. Guys would leave her alone if I was around, and it quelled the fires of the papers and magazines around Boston that had labeled me ‘Most Eligible Bachelor’ three years in a row.”

Jensen let out a laugh, and Jared couldn’t help but smile, laughing quietly, too. Jensen’s laughter had always captivated him, and when Jensen lifted a hand to wipe tears from his eyes, Jared shook his head.

“Shut up.”  
“I just … Oh my god, that’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Jared rolled his eyes, the smile still on his face.

“Anyway, jerk. We decided to get married. It would be good for my image—Genevieve and Mom said that, anyway—and she’d never have to worry about anything. I’d take care of her and everything would be fine.”  
“I feel a ‘but’ coming on.”  
“You’re psychic.”

Jensen snorted, and Jared sighed.

“We went to Valentine’s Day dinner at my parents’ house. You know how Mom is about the holidays.”  
“Do I ever.”

Jared nodded.

“I’d just lost a pretty big … okay, a huge case and I was in this weird headspace, and I kind of tuned everything out. Until Genevieve said something about kids.”

Jensen didn’t say anything, and Jared went on.

“She was discussing preschools with my sister-in-law and I just …”

Jared shook his head.

“I love kids. They’re great. My niece and nephew are little angels. But I don’t want kids of my own. I never have, and I’ve never had to worry about them, you know?”

Jensen nodded.

“Genevieve had never said anything about wanting kids. After what she went through, I assumed she wouldn’t want them, either. But there she was, talking about _our_ children and I …”

He shook his head. 

“We had a pretty big fight about it. She had it all figured out. Told me that we could tell the press that we were having ‘fertility issues’ and go have her inseminated. She’d stay home with the baby, of course, and she and Mom had discussed nurses and nannies and I …”

Jared bit his lip.

“I guess it was kind of a combination of everything, but I freaked out and left. Went to a bar and Chad had to come get me. I stayed on his couch for a couple nights. Did some things I am not proud of.”

He sighed and shook his head.

“A few days later, Genevieve got a delivery at the office. A box from some flower shop. She opened it up and it was full of snakes.”  
“Jesus.”

Jared nodded.

“I took her up to Dad’s office, because she has a bad phobia and she passed out. While I was up there, I got a cup of coffee from Matt’s office, and someone had put honey in it. The real stuff, with beeswax slipped in, too.”  
“Jay.”

Jared glanced over and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Matt had an Epi-Pen in his office. I had to go to the hospital, because the cold I happened to have mixed with the anaphylaxis messed me up real good, and that’s when JD called me. Mom convinced me that I needed a break, and Dad and Matt had already warned me that the guy I lost the trial for was threatening revenge.”

Jared shook his head again.

“I didn’t think he could do anything from prison, but what the hell do I know?”  
“Jay, you’re safe out here. I promise.”

Jared let out a laugh.

“Thanks for that.”  
“I mean it. Nobody wants to mess with Jeff, and Kane may look small, but he’s lethal.”

Jared nodded, and Jensen licked his lips again.

“Can I ask you something?”

Jared nodded.

“Why do you call her ‘Genevieve’?”

Jared narrowed his eyes.

“Because that’s her name?”  
“No, you – shut up. I just mean, you’ve been together for how long?”  
“Friends for eight years, ‘together’ for three.”  
“Okay, almost a decade, and you haven’t given her a nickname yet?”

Jared looked down, slowly crushing the now-empty Coke can in his hand. When he spoke, his voice was quiet.

“I call her G. It was the only thing I could come up with that wasn’t Gen. I know it’s not the same, but I couldn’t bear having another Jen if it wasn’t you.”

Jensen went still, and Jared blew out a breath.

“I’m sorry, I just …”  
“Don’t be sorry.”

Jared nodded, lifting his head. Jensen was a beautiful man—he’d always thought that—but there was something different when he was bathed in firelight. Jared licked his lips when Jensen looked over to him. He wasn’t sure if he moved or if Jensen closed the space between them, but the next thing Jared knew, Jensen’s lips were on his. 

It was just like he remembered. No—it was even better. Jensen’s lips were full and just slightly chapped, but felt like heaven against Jared’s. The pressure was perfect, and when Jensen’s hand slid up to cup his cheek, Jared tilted his head, deepening the kiss. The taste was different when Jensen’s tongue slipped into his mouth, darker than before. Jared sighed when Jensen’s hands were on his shoulders, and he went to the floor without a single argument. 

Jared let his hands come up, fingers tracing over the hard muscles in Jensen’s arms. Muscles that he’d gained on the ranch over the years without Jared. Jared’s hands drifted to Jensen’s back, pushing him closer, gasping when Jensen’s thigh pushed between his legs. Jensen’s mouth on his neck caused Jared to groan, and when Jared bucked his hips up, Jensen pulled back, looking down at him.

Jared blinked, staring into Jensen’s eyes, blinking again when Jensen’s rough voice broke the silence.

“We shouldn’t do this.”

Everything in Jared screamed in protest, but he stayed quiet, closing his eyes when Jensen leaned down, resting his forehead on Jared’s.

“I’m sorry. I just …”

Jensen let out a quiet laugh. Jared shook his head slightly, speaking just as softly.

“It’s okay. We don’t …”  
“I don’t want us to make the same mistakes again. I can’t go through that again, Jay. I can’t.”  
“I know. Shh, I know.”

Jared lifted his chin, pressing his lips to Jensen’s once more, and when Jensen pulled away, he stood up, pushing his hands over his face and through his hair. Jared pushed himself up to a sitting position, pushing a hand through his own hair. Jensen looked over at him, and Jared gave him a small smile. 

A crash of thunder sounded outside, and Jensen let out a sigh.

“Let me grab some blankets and we’ll sleep in here tonight. That okay with you?”  
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, that’s fine.”

Jensen gave him a smile, then left the room. Jared leaned back, letting his head thump against the wall and slowly blew out a breath.


	11. Chapter 11

ELEVEN

The storm was over just in time for the sun to come up. Jared woke up on the couch, back aching and muscles locked up, giving a quiet groan when he stretched his sore muscles. He went still when he glanced over at the recliner, seeing Jensen stretched out, hearing him snore softly. Jared smiled, standing up as quietly as he could, and creeping to the bathroom down the hall. On his way back to the kitchen, the lights flickered back on, and he walked straight to the coffeepot, fiddling with it until the glorious smell of brewing coffee filled the room.

Jared glanced behind him, a smile crossing his face as a sleep-rumpled Jensen appeared at the doorway, with a serious case of bedhead. He lifted a hand and rubbed at his eyes, yawning widely, scratching at his chest. Jared motioned toward the coffeepot and Jensen gave him a thumb’s up, and Jared laughed.

“Power’s back?”  
“Just a few minutes ago. I went straight for the coffeepot.”  
“Good man.”

They didn’t say anything else until both had a cup of coffee in front of them, warm sips down their throats and settled in their bellies. Jensen yawned again, taking another sip from his mug.

“Guess we should go to Jeff’s, make sure they’re all right. We usually check and count the cattle after a storm like that.”

Jared nodded.

“I could help?”  
“Yeah, if you want. We’ll give you an easy job, city boy.”

Jared rolled his eyes as Jensen laughed. He stood up, draining his mug, then looked to Jared.

“Hey, I just remembered. I’ve got to run into town today. You need anything?”  
“I could go with you. If you don’t mind.”

Jensen gave him a soft smile.

“I don’t mind. Let me go get ready and we’ll head over to Jeff’s.”

Jared nodded, and Jensen left the room, heading up the stairs.

*-*-*-*-*-*

They pulled up at JD’s an hour later. They didn’t knock, because they never, ever had before, and just strolled in the front door. They took their shoes off, padding in socked feet to the kitchen, where they stopped dead in their tracks. Jensen was the one to break the silence.

“Holy shit.”

Jared’s mouth fell open as a gasp was heard, a second before a shirtless JD stepped in front of Sam, who seemed to be wearing the shirt he’d lost. Jensen had a hand over his eyes, and JD cleared his throat as he buttoned his jeans. Jared put a hand over his mouth to hide his smile, and Sam peeked over JD’s shoulder, face burning red. 

Jared couldn’t help it any longer. He let out a laugh, shaking his head and closing his eyes, and JD chuckled, going forward when Sam pushed him, laughing louder when he leaned back, feeling her arms wrap around him. Jensen shook his head.

“Sure. I’m scarred for life, but go ahead. Laugh it up.”  
“Oh, like you haven’t been pushing for this.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, and JD glanced over his shoulder, smiling at Sam. Jensen shook his head again, waving a hand at them. 

“Go get some clothes on.”  
“You know, I thought this was my damn house.”  
“Jeff.”

JD blew out a breath, then looked to Jensen and Jared.

“Go out to the barn and I’ll be there in a little while.”  
“Christ, I’m going to have to bleach my damn brain.”  
“Get out of my house.”

Jared laughed as he ushered Jensen towards the front door. Jared cleared his throat.

“You two, uh, take your time. We’ll go ahead and go to town. Be back later.”

The boys put their boots back on in silence, then went back out to Jensen’s truck. They climbed in, Jensen started the engine, and Jared let out another laugh.

“Well, about damn time.”  
“I know.”

Jared looked over, and Jensen let out a laugh.

“What? You think I could let them see how happy I am for them? Nah. I had to play the disgusted ‘child.’”  
“Well, you played it well.”

Jensen smiled, turning up the radio as he pulled out of the driveway. The drive to town took about half an hour, and by the time Jensen was finished with what he needed to do, it was noon. He suggested the diner to Jared, who had never been one to pass up a meal. Jensen saw someone he knew just outside the restaurant, and Jared went in to get them a table, telling Jensen to take his time talking. He walked to the counter, doing a double take when he saw a man at the end of the counter.

Jared walked down, coming to a stop in front of the man bent over a bowl of soup.

“Misha?”

Blue eyes looked up a second before a toothy smile filled a scruffy face.

“Jared! I have been looking everywhere for you. Go on, sit.”

Jared sat down, eyes wide, and shook his head.

“Misha, what … what the hell are you doing here?”  
“I told you. I’ve been looking for you. We’ve got a case we need your help with.”

Jared narrowed his eyes.

“Misha, I’m on sabbatical right now. Dad and Matt are who you need to talk to. Sorry you came all this way, but—“  
“No, it’s not a case for the firm. It’s a case for you. Pellegrino asked for you specifically.”

Jared’s blood went cold. He swallowed, shaking his head.

“I don’t know how much clearer I can say this. I’m not taking any case. Tell Mr. Pellegrino that I’m sorry, but I can’t help him.”  
“Oh, Jared. I think you will.”

Jared swallowed, turning forward, staring at the countertop, flinching hard when a hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up, relief washing over him as Jensen stood there, face hard as he stared at the man beside Jared.

“Everything okay here?”

Misha glanced up from where he’d been placing bills under his soup bowl. He gave Jensen that toothy smile, flicking his blue eyes back to Jared.

“I’ll be in town a few more days. Just let me know when you change your mind.”

He patted Jared on the shoulder, then walked out of the diner, whistling as he pushed open the door. When the door shut again, Jared put his head in his hands, letting out a shaky breath. Jensen sat in the seat Misha had just occupied, putting his hands on Jared’s shoulders as he turned him around. 

“Jay. Hey, come on. Look at me.”

Jared let out a shaky breath, then lifted his eyes to Jensen. Jensen shook his head, moving his hand to rest against Jared’s neck.

“What is it? You all right?”

Jared swallowed, shaking his head. He let out a breath, closing his eyes as he reached out, and Jensen laced his fingers with Jared’s. Jared let out another shaky breath, lifting his eyes to Jensen’s again.

“That was one of my co-workers. Misha Collins. He … He’s a new lawyer at the firm.”  
“Okay, and you’re so freaked out because …”

Jared blew out a breath.

“Something about him just rubs me the wrong way. And then he said he’s here because he needs my help with a case. A case involving the people who …”  
“Oh, jeez.”

Jared nodded, and Jensen squeezed his hand. Jared squeezed his eyes closed and Jensen moved closer, putting his hand on the back of Jared’s neck. 

“Listen to me, Jay. You’re all right. As long as you’re with me, you’re safe, okay? That guy’s not going to come all the way out to the ranch. But if he does, remember what I told you last night?”

Jared nodded.

“Kane is little but lethal, and nobody messes with JD.”

Jensen let out a laugh, ruffling Jared’s hair.

“Exactly. But don’t let Kane hear you say that.”


	12. Chapter 12

**TWELVE**

The days turned into weeks, and before Jared even realized it, he’d been in Texas for nearly three months. May was hot, and busy on the ranches, and Jared reveled in the work. Sam had moved from Jensen’s place to the ranch house with JD, and Jared had—after a little hemming and hawing and a lot of awkwardness—moved into Jensen’s guest room.

The heaviness that seemed to hang between Jared and Jensen had all but disappeared. They fell into their old ways, comfortable with each other and sharing a living space. They were adults and friends again, somehow able to sit and talk with each other for hours without anyone getting frustrated or hurt.

And it only took about a day of living together for Jared to realize how hopelessly in love he still was.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared didn’t understand why exactly an overnight camping trip was needed, but Jensen insisted it was necessary for the upkeep of the ranch, along with keeping with tradition. Jared wasn’t exactly fond of the outdoors, but he couldn’t deny that he was sort of looking forward to the trip. He and Salinger had fallen into a comfortable rapport, as shocked as Jared was that he could easily ride the beast.

He walked into JD’s house and left his boots by the door, making his way to the kitchen where Sam sat at the counter, head in her hands, a mug of something steaming beside her elbow.

“Sam?”

She lifted her head, face too pale for Jared’s liking. She pushed a smile on her face for him, though.

“Hey, Jared.”  
“You okay?”  
“No, I … I think I’ve got something.”  
“Is it flu season?”

Sam let out a quiet laugh.

“No, I think that’s the winter months, honey.”  
“Oh.”  
“I’m fine, though. I can rest while you all are gone.”  
“Will you be okay here by yourself? I mean, I can—“  
“I’ll be fine, sweetheart.”

She stood up from the barstool, patting his arm.

“I’m a big girl. Can saddle my own horse and everything.”

Jared let out a laugh, patting her hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t doubt it for a second. Is there service in the woods?”  
“Jensen got a tower set up close by. Signal everywhere.”  
“Good. I’m taking my phone, so if you need anything…”  
“Thanks, sweetie.”

Jared smiled, and Sam slowly made her way down the hall. As soon as she was out of sight, the back door opened and Jensen and JD walked in, toeing their boots off. Jensen was talking, and JD was nodding his head as he listened.

“I just know that if we sell off those two acres, it’s more than likely to pay off in the long run, and will probably be much more lucrative in the future.”  
“I just love it when you use big, professional-sounding words like ‘lucrative.’”

Jared couldn’t hold back the laugh, and JD glanced over to him with a big smile.

“Sounded damn professional, didn’t he?”  
“He really did.”  
“Oh, you can both kiss my ass.”

JD and Jared laughed again, and Jensen shook his head as he walked to the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water for himself after tossing one to JD. JD took a long drink, then nodded to Jared. 

“Was Sammy in here?”

Jared nodded.

“She sick?”

JD blew out a breath.

“Yeah, she hasn’t felt too good for a couple days. I’m afraid she’s got some kind of flu or something.”  
“It’s not flu season.”

Jared and Jensen had spoken at the same time, and Jared let out a laugh. Jensen smiled, and JD ran a hand over his face. 

“I don’t know. I tried to tell her to go to the doctor, but she said she just needs to rest.”  
“Yeah, she told me that’s what she was planning to do while we were gone.”

JD nodded, and Jensen walked back over to Jared, laying his hands on Jared’s shoulders.

“You ‘bout ready?”  
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Jensen and JD laughed, and JD walked down the hall, presumably to tell Sam goodbye. Jensen held out a hand and Jared took it, trying not to let his heart pound out of his chest when Jensen didn’t let go. 

They walked outside, to the barn, and Jared smiled when he saw what he had come to think of as his horse. He let go of Jensen’s hand to go to the animal, smiling wider when Salinger nickered at him. 

“Hey, boy. Ready to go for a ride?”

Salinger whinnied in response, and Jared laughed, glancing back to see Jensen laughing as well. 

“Looks like you know what you’re doing there, Dr. Doolittle.”  
“Oh, shut up.”

Jensen laughed again, shaking his head as he walked over to Kerouac’s stall. He let out a sigh, then looked back at Jared.

“I’ve got to give this one some kind of food before he’ll even acknowledge me, and yours starts making noise as soon as he sees you.”  
“Well, it’s probably because I’m so devastatingly handsome.”

Jensen let out a laugh, and Jared couldn’t help but smile as he ran the brush over Salinger’s back.

“Thanks for the ego boost, Jen.”  
“That ego gets any better, it’ll bust out the barn.”

Jared snorted, laughing when Salinger mimicked the noise. He patted the horse’s flank, then reached for the blanket to drape over his back. 

“Just how rough are we going to be ‘roughing it’ this weekend, Jen?”  
“Oh, barely. We’ll have a fire and cook shit over it, tents that we sleep in. But they’re good tents. Sturdy and with plenty of space.”  
“Am I going to have to put my own tent up? Because if I am, I hope it doesn’t rain, because I’ll be sleeping under the stars. Are there coyotes out there?”

Jensen had to stop what he was doing because he was laughing too hard. When he’d finally calmed down, he spoke.

“Christ. No, city boy. We’ve never seen a coyote out there. Heard them a few times, but they keep their distance, and so do we. And don’t worry. I’ll help with your tent.”

Jared faltered with the saddle when he heard Jensen’s next quiet statement.

“Or you can … you could stay in my tent.”

Jared closed his eyes at the way his heart leapt, hope springing through his veins. He cleared his throat, voice thick when he finally spoke.

“I’d … I’d like that.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared leaned against the tree, beer in hand, smiling as he watched the fire JD had started. There was a small group of guys, mostly ones who worked at the ranch. Chris Kane, of course, and a guy named Jason, who’d brought along his guitar. Tom, who was an old friend of Jensen’s, and a little guy named Rob, who was the accountant for the ranch, but who apparently always came along on the campout. Of course, JD and Jensen, and Jared rounded out the group.

They’d gotten to the unofficial camp site and set up their tents, Jared blushing furiously as he helped Jensen set theirs up.

_Theirs._

That was an incredible thought, and one Jared sincerely hoped he could keep. He tried not to get his hopes up, but that was a losing battle. 

“Hey, you.”

Jared smiled up at Jensen, who groaned as he sat down beside him. Jensen had a bottle of water in his hand, and took a long drink from it. Jared looked down at the beer he was holding, and Jensen smiled.

“It’s okay, Jay.”

Jared met his eyes, and Jensen smiled as he leaned over and pushed a piece of Jared’s hair out of his face.

“I don’t want one right now. Maybe later, but I’m good.”  
“You sure? I can get rid of—“  
“I’m sure. Relax.”

Jared blew out his breath, then nodded. Jensen leaned against the tree, putting his bottle of water to the side, lacing his fingers together and resting them on his belly. He nodded to the group of guys on the other side of the fire.

“It’s a tradition for all of us to come out here once every few months. Whenever Jason can get home from the road and Tom’s wife lets him off the leash.”

Jensen snorted, and Jared smiled. 

“How did you meet them?”

Jensen pursed his lips.

“Tom and I went to school together. And I mean like elementary school. Kindergarten on. Jason was Chris’ friend, so I met him when Chris and I were dating. Rob’s dad was the accountant for the ranch when my grandpa had it. Rob’s dad really helped JD after my parents died, because he was so young, you know?”

Jared nodded, and Jensen went on.

“Rob took over a few years ago when his dad passed. And I’ve been stuck with JD since before I was born, so…”

Jared laughed, and Jensen turned to look at him, taking in a breath and letting it out slowly. Jared turned his head, meeting Jensen’s gaze, eyes going to his mouth when Jensen licked his lips, voice barely a whisper.

“I don’t want to mess this up, Jay.”  
“Me either.”  
“I know you’ve got to go back to Boston and all, but … God.”  
“I know.”

Jensen blinked, then looked up, meeting Jared’s eyes.

“Maybe I can just have you while I can.”  
“Jen?”  
“I mean ... maybe we can just live in the now and figure the rest out later.”

Jared swallowed hard, and Jensen leaned in, cupping Jared’s jaw in his hand and kissing him softly. Jared’s eyes closed, hand coming over to rest against Jensen’s hip. Jensen gently put pressure on Jared’s jaw, turning his head, and Jared went with it, feeling like putty in Jensen’s hands. He felt Jensen smile as they kissed.

And Jared honestly didn’t care if anyone saw.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jensen was lying on his back in his sleeping bag on the air mattress in his tent, arms pillowed under his head as he stared into the darkness. They’d had a great night, just sitting around and doing nothing. They talked and laughed, told stories of long ago, drank, and sang when Jason pulled out his guitar. Chris was loose and relaxed, Tom was sprawled over one of the benches, JD kept glancing off towards the direction of the house...

And Jensen couldn’t stop looking at Jared. 

His nose and his cheeks still went red when he drank, and he was pretty funny once he’d relaxed enough. He and Tom seemed to really hit it off, and they’d all toasted Tom when he admitted that his wife was pregnant. Shortly after that was when they’d decided to turn in, debating on whether or not to stay another night, just for the hell of it.

Jensen sighed, shaking his head. His mind was churning, and he wasn’t exactly sure why. 

Well, it might have something to do with Jared and the way he’d kissed him earlier.

It had been different, the kiss. It wasn’t like the heat-of-the-moment one they’d shared those months back. It wasn’t like the sweetly passionate-turned-familiar ones they’d shared once upon a time. No, these kisses were different, and hard to describe. Still familiar, yet … New. Maybe it was because they were older, maybe it was because Jensen was grasping at straws.

Did he know that a relationship with Jared was a bad idea? Of course. He knew how the last one had ended. Granted, he knew that the probability of this time going that exact same route was unlikely, but … The idea was always there. 

Jensen was just sick of fighting it.

He loved Jared. He always had, and he’d figured out sometime in the last decade that he always would. That didn’t make things any easier, but he’d meant what he’d said. He wanted to have Jared while he could, and when the real world burst back in—like he just _knew_ it would—he’d deal. 

Jensen let out a slow breath, closing his eyes, opening them again when he heard a whimper beside him. Jared was sharing the air mattress, but in his own sleeping bag. Which, of course, he’d kicked off, because he was a freakin’ furnace. Jensen heard another quiet noise, and he propped himself up on his elbows.

“Jay? You okay?”

Jared gave another moan, and Jensen pulled his feet from his sleeping bag, rolling to face Jared. He reached out and gently brushed Jared’s hair from his face.

“Shh. You’re all right. I’m right here.”

Jensen smiled when Jared’s hand reached out and took hold of his wrist. Hazel eyes blinked open, and Jensen’s smile widened just a bit.

“Hey there.”  
“Was I—“  
“It’s okay. Bad dream?”

Jared nodded, letting go of Jensen to scrub his hands over his face. He let out a long breath, and Jensen propped his head on his hand.

“Need to talk about it?”

Jared swallowed, then shook his head.

“No, I … I’d rather not.”  
“Okay. Can you go back to sleep?”

Jared shook his head, then looked over at Jensen.

“Have you slept any?”

Jensen shook his head, and Jared sighed. Jensen leaned over the side of the mattress, rummaging in his bag a moment before he came back, a candle in each hand. Jared snorted, then laughed.

“Isn’t that dangerous? What if we fall asleep and the tent catches on fire?”  
“They’re battery-powered candles, you jerk. Sam gave them to me.”

Jared laughed quietly as Jensen switched the candles on, and the tent was bathed in a dim glow.

“There.”

Jared watched as Jensen licked his lips, setting the candles on the edge of the mattress.

“Thanks, Jen.”

Jensen smiled, reaching out to ruffle Jared’s hair. Jared scooted just a bit closer to him, and Jensen held out his arm.

“Come here.”

Jared sighed, moving even closer, until his head was resting on Jensen’s chest. He let out a long sigh, taking in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“God, I’ve missed this.”

Jared’s statement was barely a whisper.

“I know. Me, too.”

Jensen’s answer was just as quiet, and Jared looked up at him, a few seconds before Jensen looked down. Jared shook his head.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Jensen nodded, then smiled.

“Let me help you.”

Jared laughed as Jensen’s hands wrapped around his arms, pulling him up until they could press their lips together. After a good, long kiss, Jensen let his lips travel over Jared’s jaw, down his neck, and Jared bit his lip.

“That’s not what I … oh, wow.”

Jensen laughed as he pressed his lips to Jared’s neck, then kissed his mouth again.

“I know. But I meant what I said earlier, okay?”

Jared swallowed, but nodded, and Jensen cupped his face in his hands as he spoke.

“Let’s just take what we can while we can, okay?”

Jared shook his head.

“Jen, that’s not logical.”  
“Fuck logic.”  
“I’m scared we’re just going to get hurt again later.”  
“Stop thinking about later. Let me touch you and hold you and kiss you now. Okay? Please, Jay.”

Green eyes seemed to burn through the darkness, and all Jared could do was nod.

“Okay.”

Jared’s voice was barely more than a breath, and Jensen’s arms came around him as their lips met again. Jared closed his eyes, letting Jensen roll them over, and when he blinked his eyes open again, Jensen was smiling down at him.

“I seem to remember a surefire way to get you to sleep.”  
“Oh, god.”

Jared squeezed his eyes shut, gasping quietly as Jensen slid his hands down Jared’s sides, slipping one into the front of his sweatpants. Jared’s hands came up to grip Jensen’s biceps as Jensen’s fingers slid under the waistband of Jared’s boxers.

“Jen…”  
“I’ve got you, baby.”

Jared gave a groan as Jensen’s hand wrapped around him, giving a firm stroke up the hard length of his cock. His thumb slid across the head and Jared’s hips bucked up into the touch. Jared shook his head, a thin sheen of sweat covering his face and neck.

“I—I’m not—oh, god.”  
“Shh, it’s okay. Let go for me.”

It only took two more strokes before Jensen’s hand was covered in Jared’s release. Jared was panting, chest heaving, and Jensen leaned forward, kissing him softly, gently, calming him down. When he finally pulled back, tugging his t-shirt off and using it to clean up, Jensen smiled. He watched Jared’s hand reach out, and Jensen turned on his side, pulling Jared close to him, back to chest, stroking Jared’s hair.

He pressed a kiss to Jared’s temple, then slid into sleep himself.


	13. Chapter 13

**THIRTEEN**

Jared yawned as he held the phone to his ear, shaking his head until his father’s voice filled the line.

 _“Hello?”_  
“Hey, Dad.”  
_“Well, it’s good to hear from you. How’s the fresh air?”_

Jared let out a laugh.

“It’s refreshing, Dad. It’s great.”  
_“You sound great, son.”_

Jared glanced over, seeing Jensen crouched down by the fire pit, trying to get it going again. He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face, and he fought back the part of him that wanted to tell his father that the reason he sounded so great was because he had Jensen back. Instead, he asked a neutral question.

“How’re things at the office?”  
_“I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but we have been able to get along without you. Now, it’s not been easy, but I think we’ll make it.”_  
“You think you’re funny, don’t you, old man?”

Jim’s laughter filled the line, and Jared shook his head.

_“No, everything’s fine here, son. Matt’s bitching because I made him finish up your paperwork, but he’ll get over it.”_  
“Little work won’t kill him.”  
_“Exactly.”_

Jared laughed, and Jim let out a sigh.

_“Actually, there is one thing.”_  
“What?”  
_“That new hire we made a few months ago? Collins? He’s gone AWOL.”_

Jared went still.

“Wh … what?”  
_“Yeah, he called in about two months ago, said he had to go visit a sick relative. We gave him the time off, of course, but he never came back. His apartment’s empty, cell phone’s disconnected.”_

Jared swallowed, turning around, watching Jensen stand up and look his way, one eyebrow raised. Jared held the phone tighter in his hand, staring as Jensen jogged over, closing his eyes when a warm hand landed on his arm. Jared shook his head, leaning over and resting his forehead against Jensen’s shoulder. 

“Dad, you … you don’t think he …”  
_“I didn’t want to say anything, but I had a feeling about him from the get-go. He had an impeccable resume, though, so we gave him a chance. You never know about some people, son.”_

Jared missed the look that was exchanged between Jensen and JD, and then Jensen and Chris. All he could focus on was the weight of Jensen’s hand as it rubbed up and down his back.

_“Listen, son, I hate to talk and run, but some of us have to get to the office.”_

Jared let out a laugh.

“Dad, you … You be careful, all right?”  
_“Jesus, you sound like your mother. I’ll look both ways before I cross the street, I promise. Tell Jensen and JD that I said hello.”_

Jared held the phone to his ear for a while after his father ended the call. Jensen just held him, gently rubbing his back, then finally spoke.

“Jay, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Jared let out a shaky breath, then lifted his head. Jensen moved his hands to Jared’s shoulders, and Jared swallowed.

“Dad said that … that Misha’s gone AWOL. Said he had to—to visit a sick relative two months ago and never came back. Jen, that’s when—when I saw him in town.”  
“First of all, calm down. Everything’s all right.”

Jensen moved in, taking Jared in his arms and holding him tightly.

“You don’t know; he might not be here anymore.”  
“Jen, he … I don’t think he’d let this go.”  
“He’s not going to hurt you. I promise you that. I’m not going to let him.”

Jared squeezed his eyes shut, burying his face in Jensen’s shoulder. He heard the footsteps grow closer, but he never moved from Jensen’s hold, even when he heard JD’s voice.

“Everything okay?”

Jensen sighed.

“Guy that works with Jay showed up in town about two months ago. We bumped into him at the diner, and he kind of spooked Jay a bit. We haven’t seen him since, but Jay said Jim told him the guy’s gone AWOL. No one’s heard from him in two months.”  
“And you didn’t think you needed to share this information before now?”  
“I didn’t think it was anything. Thought the guy was trying to scare Jared into going back to Boston. He seemed harmless.”  
“Nothing is ever as it seems, Jack. Thought I taught you that.”

Jared blew out a breath, stepping back from Jensen’s hold, scrubbing his hands over his face.

“What do we do?”

JD pursed his lips, scratching his chin.

“Send these boys on a manhunt? Get a little excitement around the ranch?”  
“Oh yeah, because that won’t let the little fucker know something’s up.”

JD rolled his eyes at Jensen, then stepped forward, laying a hand on Jared’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry about this guy. Safest place you could be is right here.”  
“JD, what—“  
“Less questions you ask is probably best, son.”

Jared blinked, looking to Jensen, who shrugged his shoulders, then pushed his hands in his pockets. JD walked away, whistling to get the other men’s attention. Jensen walked over to Jared, pulling a hand from his pocket and tucking a piece of hair behind Jared’s ear.

“You trust me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then know that everything’s fine.”  
“You got cryptic while we were apart.”

Jensen laughed.

“Come on, sasquatch. Let’s round up the horses.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jensen got back to the house before the others did. He’d blame it on the horse if any of them asked, but he knew they probably wouldn’t. JD was sticking close to Jared, getting the whole story out of him about the guy he’d seen that day and what his agenda could possibly be. Jensen knew most of it already, and he really didn’t need to hear it again, so he’d let Kerouac run and arrived home first.

He walked to the house and kicked his boots off outside, knocking as he opened the door. A soft smile met him as he closed the door behind him.

“Have fun?”

Jensen nodded at Sam, leaning to the side until his back popped.

“We had a great time, but … eh, JD will tell you later.”

Sam nodded, sipping from a mug.

“Coffee?”

She shook her head.

“Peppermint tea.”

Jensen made a face and she laughed.

“But there is some coffee in the pot.”  
“You’re an angel.”

Sam rolled her eyes, and Jensen walked over, grabbing a mug and filling it almost to the brim. He took a long sip, then sighed. Sam bit her lip, then spoke softly.

“How’s Jared doing? No coyotes got him, I assume?”

Jensen snorted.

“Nah, no coyotes this trip.”  
“Good.”

It was quiet in the kitchen, until Jensen spoke softly.

“I’m in love with him, Sam.”

She smiled as she glanced over, seeing Jensen’s back as he stared out the window.

“I know you are, honey.”  
“I just … I’m tired of fighting it. Trying to be his friend when we’re … We can’t be friends.”  
“I understand.”  
“I kissed him.”

Sam blinked, and Jensen went on.

“I told him that I know he’s got to go back, and that this … whatever it is can’t last. But I … I don’t know. I guess a little bit is better than nothing at all, you know?”  
“Oh, honey.”

Jensen turned and all but fell into Sam’s embrace, and she stroked a hand through his hair. 

“I know it’s going to end, and I thought that would make it easier, but it … God, I think it makes it worse.”  
“You can’t think like that.”  
“I lost him once and I almost didn’t make it. This time, I … I know I’m going to lose him, so I … I’ll be strong enough to make it.”  
“Jensen—“  
“I’m sorry. I just … I need to …”  
“Jensen.”

He turned and left the house, letting the door shut behind him, leaving his cup of coffee half-full at the sink, and Sam staring after him.

*-*-*-*-*-*

_Ten Years Ago_

“You’re sure this is what you want to do?”

Jensen let out a laugh.

“No, this isn’t what I _want_ to do.”  
“Then why are we doing it? Just stay here, and we’ll … we’ll figure it out.”  
“There’s nothing to figure out, Jay.”

Jensen sighed, shaking his head as he put his hands on his hips. He looked over, across the room at Jared, who had his arms crossed over his chest. They locked eyes, and Jensen shook his head again.

“I love you, but I can’t … I can’t keep doing this.”  
“So you’re just going to leave?”  
“If you want to pick a fight about this, go ahead, but it’s not gonna change my mind.”

Jared let out a frustrated breath, pushing his hands through his hair.

“Will you just … stop packing for a minute and talk to me?”

Jensen let out a laugh.

“What is there to talk about? Don’t you think we’ve said pretty much everything already?”  
“I don’t want you to go.”

Jensen sighed.

“I know. I don’t want to go.”  
“Then why the hell are you going?”

Jensen licked his lips, looking down, then lifting his eyes to meet Jared’s.

“Because you want someone who will be your buddy in public, who won’t kiss you or get too close in front of everyone, but who will fuck you into the mattress behind closed doors. And I can’t do it anymore.”  
“Don’t do that. Don’t cheapen what we have by describing it like that.”  
“I don’t have to cheapen it. You already have.”

Jared stepped back at that, shaking his head.

“Jen, I … I haven’t—“  
“You have. Every single time you stepped away from me, or pushed my hand away, or shook your head at me instead of kissing me, you made me feel like … horrible. Like I wasn’t good enough for you.”  
“Jen, you’re everything to me.”

Jensen slowly nodded, pursing his lips.

“Yet … Here we are.”

Jared rubbed his hand over his mouth, and Jensen sighed. 

“I love you. But I can’t be your dirty little secret anymore. I deserve better than that, Jay.”  
“I love you, too. I ... I’m sorry I made you feel like that.”

Jensen nodded, turning to fold more of his clothes, laying them into a box. Jared stood on the other side of the room, watching helplessly as his life took a turn he didn’t know how to navigate.

*-*-*-*-*-*

A few days later, early in the morning, Jared stepped into JD's house, looking around and seeing the kitchen was empty. That was unusual, so he stepped further inside.

“Hello? Anybody home?”

No answer. Jared walked towards the living room, coming to a stop when he saw JD sitting there, staring off into space. Jared tried to whistle, but he just couldn’t, so he cleared his throat, and coughed, and finally stepped right in front of JD. The man never acknowledged him, so Jared reached down and gripped his shoulder.

“Hey.”

JD blinked hard, leaning back, meeting Jared’s eyes and shaking his head.

“Hey—hey, Jared.”  
“You okay?”

JD licked his lips, swallowed, then let out a laugh.

“I don’t … I don’t have a fucking clue.”

Jared raised an eyebrow.

“What’s … what’s going on, JD? Where’s Sam?”  
“She’s asleep.”

Jared looked down at his watch.

“Little late for her to be sleeping, isn’t it?”  
“I turned off her alarm.”

Jared nodded.

“And that’s why you’re sitting down here like you’ve seen a ghost?”

JD rolled his eyes.

“No, I just … I couldn’t sleep last night, so I finally decided to get up and come sit in here.”  
“In the dark, all alone?”

JD nodded. Jared reached over, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s really going on?”

JD nodded again slowly.

“Sam’s not sick.”  
“That’s good, JD.”  
“She’s pregnant.”

Jared’s mouth fell open, and his hand fell back to his side. JD nodded.

“That’s about the reaction I had.”

Jared stepped over and plopped down beside JD on the couch. They sat in silence for a while, until Jared spoke.

“Sam’s pregnant?”

JD nodded.

“You two are having a baby?”  
“I’m forty-four years old, and I’m going to be a father.”

JD’s breath left his chest in a whoosh, and Jared started laughing. He shook his head, clapping JD on the back.

“Holy shit. This is awesome!”

JD met his eyes, and Jared watched as a smile blossomed over JD’s rugged face. He let out a laugh of his own, and Jared shook his head.

“Congratulations.”

JD closed his eyes, shaking his head, then stood up, walking out of the living room and down the hall. Jared leaned backwards and laughed again, then pushed himself up and ran out the back door.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared was sweating when he got to Jensen’s, smiling when he saw the gray truck in the driveway. He jogged up the front steps, twisting the doorknob and walking inside.

“Jen? You’re never going to believe this.”

He didn’t hear an answer, so he walked down the hallway, passing through the kitchen. He didn’t hear the shower running, or anything but silence, and he reached back to scratch at his neck.

“Jen? I know you’re here. Your truck’s outside. Where you at?”

Jared rounded the corner, preparing to hop down the small step to the den when he came to a hard stop.

Jensen was lying on the floor, blood pooled around his head, sluggishly flowing from a gash on his temple. Jared felt his own blood run cold, and he slowly looked from Jensen up, to where Misha Collins was smiling with a gun in his hand, tapping it on the glass tabletop beside the chair he was sitting in.

“Jared. Lovely to see you this fine morning. Let’s chat.”


	14. Chapter 14

**FOURTEEN**

Jared shook his head, not even realizing that his entire body was trembling. He glanced down at Jensen and swallowed hard.

“What did you—“  
“Oh, he’ll be fine.”

Misha waved a hand towards Jensen's still body.

"He tried to get in my way, but he was easily dealt with."

Jared gasped, and Misha stood up, cracking his neck.

“We’ve got business to discuss.”  
“We don’t have _anything_ to discuss.”  
“Now, Jared.”

Misha tapped the gun against his open palm.

“I don’t want to have to get rough with you. I’ve gone easy on you so far, so don’t make me angry.”  
“You've gone easy on ...? Wait. It was ... you put the honey in the coffee, didn't you?”  
“Got your attention, didn’t it?”

Jared shivered at the wide smile Misha gave him. 

“Misha, please.”  
“Sit down. We can discuss the terms of our agreement.”  
“We don’t have an agreement!”  
“Not yet.”

Misha wiggled the gun so it caught a glare off the light. Jared swallowed, and when Misha motioned towards one of the chairs, Jared slowly made his way there, sitting down gently, eyes locked on Jensen. He was too still. Was his … yes, his chest was rising. Jared closed his eyes, breathing a sigh of relief. He could get through this and get Jensen some help.

“Now, there’s some things you don’t know. Mr. Pellegrino has been in the market for a new second-in-command ever since Mark Sheppard fucked up as royally as he did. I volunteered to take that position and Mr. Pellegrino has graciously allowed it.”  
“Misha, I don’t—“  
“I’m not finished. Don’t interrupt.”

Jared nodded, sitting back, glancing over at Jensen again. Did he—? Jared closed his eyes. He was seeing things. Misha tapped the gun on the table, and Jared looked back to him. Misha had his eyebrows raised, and Jared shook his head.

“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?”

Misha sighed. 

“Mr. Pellegrino and I have decided to take you—solely you—on as our official attorney. We’ll be breaking away from the Padalecki and Sons firm—as will you—and you will take on all of the legal aspects of the business.”

Jared swallowed, looking over to Jensen, definitely seeing his pinky finger move. Jared lifted his eyes to Misha’s, shaking his head.

“Why would … why would you want me? I mean, I—I was Mark Sheppard’s lawyer, and he’s doing a seventy-five-year sentence.”  
“Yes, but it was always in the cards for Sheppard to go to jail. He was cocky. Called himself ‘The King,’ when that’s clearly Mr. Pellegrino. Besides, Sheppard will get what’s coming to him, even in maximum security.”

The smile that slithered across Misha’s lips made Jared’s stomach churn. He was at a complete loss for what he should be doing. He knew he needed to get the gun away from the crazy man in front of him, but he also knew that they needed to get away from Jensen, and get medical help to him. Even if he was moving slightly, the amount of blood was scaring Jared.

Misha snapped his fingers and Jared’s eyes shot up to meet the crystal blue ones. Misha held out a hand.

“So? Do we have a deal?”

Jared blinked.

“Let’s say I agreed. What’s in it for me?”

Misha let out a laugh, pointing a finger at Jared.

“I knew you were the smart one! Oh, Jared. You’ll be rich beyond belief, respected without a shadow of a doubt, and you’ll never have to come back to _this place_ ever again.”

Misha’s face was full of disgust as he glanced around the room. He had his lips curled in a sneer, and Jared wanted nothing more than to knock that look off of his face. Something changed then; Jared felt like a switch had been flipped. He cleared his throat, straightening his shoulders.

“Misha, can I ask you something?”  
“Anything.”  
“The snakes in the office, for Genevieve. Was that you?”

Misha smiled that toothy grin, letting out a laugh.

“Wasn’t that incredible? Her face when she lifted the lid on the box …”

He shook his head.

“I wish I could have taped it! I knew that you would immediately suspect Sheppard, especially with the way I’d subtly talked to your father, mentioning how dangerous and off-center Mark could be. I knew he and Genevieve had discussed her fear of snakes, so I thought if I did it, you'd place the blame on him.”  
“But he didn’t—“  
“Fuck, no! That was all me! Pellegrino cut him off as soon as the smarmy little bastard got arrested. He’s got no pull in prison. He’s got fucking nothing.”

Jared nodded. Misha had already admitted to lacing the coffee and sending Jared into anaphylactic shock. Jared licked his lips, glancing to Jensen, whose hand was slowly clenching into a fist and releasing.

“Let’s say I do agree to this. What’s going to happen to my dad?”  
“Oh, they’ll be fine. No one will mess with them or the firm.”  
“And Genevieve?”

Misha tilted his head, giving Jared a look.

“Jared, I know you don’t really want to marry her. Where is she, Idaho? She could very easily have some sort of skiing accident and you wouldn’t have to worry about her anymore.”

Jared’s vision flashed red, and before he knew what was happening, he was across the glass table, Misha’s shirt in his fist.

“You touch one hair on her head and I swear to God...”  
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Let me go!”

Jared fell back, pain shooting through his temple, stars dancing in his vision. Misha stood to his feet, straightening out his shirt, smoothing a hand down his chest. Jared blinked, letting out a groan, and Misha shook his head.

“I should have known. You don’t love the bitch, but you won’t let anyone else have her, either.”  
“What?”  
“This was a bad idea. You’d never make it, working for us. Too damn hotheaded and fucking _noble_.”

Jared closed his eyes, stomach roiling. He blinked, the pain radiating through his skull almost too much for him to bear. Misha shook his head.

“Mr. Pellgrino will understand. I'll make him understand. We’ll find someone else.”  
“Mi—Misha, wait.”

Jared’s mouth went dry as Misha flipped the safety on the gun, leveling it at Jared’s face. A million thoughts went through Jared’s mind in a millisecond, and most of them centered around the man still lying in a pool of blood on the floor. Jared closed his eyes, flinching at the sound of a shot.


	15. Chapter 15

**FIFTEEN**

“Don’t move, or the next one’s between your eyes.”

Jared blinked hard at the gruff tone, shaking his head.

“Kane?”

Chris flashed him a smile, then took a step forward, gun raised and pointed at Misha, who was shaking out his hand, the gun he’d been holding cast aside. Jared raised a hand to his head, and JD stepped in the house through the backdoor. Jared glanced back, motioning to the kitchen, and JD hurried over, kneeling down beside Jensen. 

“Oh, go ahead, Collins. Fuckin’ make my day, baby.”

Jared looked back to Chris, still pointing his gun at Misha, who had looked as though he was going for his weapon. A short, copper-haired man walked in, a big smile on his face.

“Well, well, well. Check out this party!”

Jared blinked, seeing the man nod towards Chris. A devilish smile crossed his face, and Chris holstered his gun, pulling a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket.

“Misha Collins, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Jared Padalecki, the attempted murder of Jensen Ackles, workplace endangerment, falsifying official documents, tax evasion, organized crime, and being an all-around pain in my ass.”

Jared shook his head, blinking hard. Chris continued on with his speech.

“You’ve got the right to remain silent. Anything you say can—and will—be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney—“  
“I am an attorney, you jackass, and this is bullshit!”  
“Real fancy talk for a big bad lawyer.”

Misha narrowed his eyes at the other man in the room, the one Jared had no clue who he was, and that man motioned with his head. Chris had a hard grip on Misha’s arm and led him from the room, with Misha protesting loudly the entire way.

Jared groaned, leaning over and putting his head in his hands, looking up when something cold brushed against his hand. The unfamiliar man was standing there, holding a bag of frozen chopped spinach. He lifted a shoulder, giving Jared a smile.

“There weren’t any peas.”

Jared snorted, closing his eyes in pain, taking the bag and pressing it against his temple. He hissed at the temperature, then settled back in the chair. The man settled on the arm of the chair Misha had been sitting in, and he tapped his fingers together as he studied Jared. After a minute, he spoke.

“So I bet you’re wondering what the hell you stumbled into here.”

Jared nodded, and the man cleared his throat.

“I’m Special Agent Richard Speight with the FBI.”  
“Are you shitting me?”

Agent Speight let out a laugh.

“No, sir. I am not.”  
“FBI?”

Speight nodded.

“We’ve been investigating Mr. Collins for a while now, and this was the opening we’d been waiting for. You’re an excellent interrogator, Mr. Padalecki.”  
“Jared, please.”

Speight nodded again. 

“Between Mr. Morgan and Agent Kane, we were able to get you here with minimal fuss, and Mr. Collins followed, just as we’d hoped he would. I’ll admit that he took us by surprise this morning, what with—“

Speight motioned towards the kitchen, and Jared’s head snapped up. He moved off of the chair, making his way over and hitting his knees beside Jensen.

“JD, is he—“  
“He’s breathing, semi-conscious. Ambulance is on its way, right, Speight?”  
“Should be pulling up any second now.”

Jared laid a hand on Jensen’s back.

“I’m here, Jen. You’re going to be okay.”

Jensen gave a quiet groan, and Jared reached down and laced their fingers together. Noise from the front of the house made Jared look up a few seconds before a stretcher was rolled in. Jared was helped to his feet by JD and Speight, and they walked Jared back to the chair, where he sat with a groan.

“Damn, he got you good, didn’t he?”

Jared opened one eye and nodded at JD, who raised an eyebrow at Speight.

“You couldn’t have come in before the kid got pistol-whipped?”  
“There was no sign of imminent danger. We couldn’t advance until we had everything we needed, and thanks to Jensen’s wire, we—“  
“Whoa, what?”

Speight cleared his throat, and Jared glanced to JD.

“J—Jay?”

Jared launched himself from the chair, going straight to the stretcher, where the whispered word had just come. Jensen slowly blinked, and Jared grasped his hand.

“Right here, Jen. I’m right here.”  
“Coll …”

JD stepped over, patting Jensen’s leg.

“We got him, Jensen. You did great.”

Jensen nodded minutely, and Jared sighed, shaking his head. One of the paramedics gently laid a hand on his arm.

“We need to get Mr. Ackles to the hospital now.”

Jared nodded, but leaned over, gently kissing Jensen’s lips before he was wheeled away. Sleepy green eyes stayed locked onto his, and Jared smiled, lifting a hand to wave. JD sighed and shook his head.

“Well, this was the definition of a hell of a morn—Jared!”

Jared stumbled, feeling JD catch him as dark spots danced before his eyes a moment before he was enveloped in darkness.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared came to in a cold room, a dull, aching pain in his head and oxygen tubes in his nose. He rolled his head to the side, meeting a pair of smiling green eyes. He smiled, speaking softly.

“Hi, Sam.”  
“Hey there. Do me a favor and don’t scare me like that again, okay?”

Jared smiled as he closed his eyes, nodding once before wincing. He felt the gentle touch on his hand, but he didn’t open his eyes. Sam seemed to know what he wanted, and she talked softly while she gently rubbed his arm.

“You’ve got a slight concussion. Doctor ordered a CT, but it came back clear. You slept through that. It took five people—JD included—to get you onto the table.”

Jared smiled at that, and Sam moved her hand to brush her fingers through his hair. 

“They took Jensen down at the same time. His scan was clean, too, thank the Lord. He just lost a lot of blood, and his concussion is worse than yours. JD’s with him now.”  
“Can I see him?”  
“You need to rest first.”  
“Sam, I need … I need to see him.”

There was a noise at the door, which Jared soon realized was the sound of a throat clearing. He blinked open his eyes to see JD leaning against the doorframe, and he smiled at Jared. 

“Feeling better?”  
“Like a million bucks.”

JD laughed, and Jared closed his eyes again. Sam leaned over, stroking his hair.

“Honey?”  
“The light hurts.”

The room went dim a second later, and Jared sighed.

“Thank you.”

JD cleared his throat again, then stepped into the room.

“Jack’s awake. Doctor wanted to do some kind of exam thing, and he made me leave. Nurses should be coming in here soon for the same reason.”  
“JD, can—“  
“And then they’ll be moving you down to Jack’s room.”

Jared smiled, resting back.

“Thank you.”  
“Try and rest, son.”

Jared nodded, feeling himself slipping under again.

*-*-*-*-*-*

The next time he woke up, Jared was in a different room. It was dim, which he was grateful for, because that low-grade was ache was still present in his head. He glanced over, and a smile crossed his face when he saw a pair of sleepy green eyes watching him. Jared groaned as he pushed himself to a sitting position, then sighed.

“Hey, you.”

Jensen grunted at him in response, and Jared laughed.

“How do you feel?”  
“Like a fucking psycho smashed my head against my tile floor.”  
“Pretty spot-on.”

Jensen grunted again, and Jared sighed, pushing a hand through his hair, wincing when he hit a very tender spot. Jensen’s voice was throaty and gruff, and he coughed, closing his eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

Jared sighed.

“My head hurts. And I still don’t understand what the hell happened today.”

Jensen nodded, yawning. 

“We’ll explain it to you when … when I can open my eyes without the damn room spinning. Ugh.”

Jared yawned, shaking his head.

“Fuck, all I’ve done here is sleep.”  
“Why you bitchin’?”

Jared laughed, gingerly rolling onto his side, pulling the blanket up around his shoulders. Jensen let out a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. Jared watched him for a while, until his arms unfolded and slipped down by his sides, and Jared’s eyelids became too heavy.


	16. Chapter 16

**SIXTEEN**

The doctor let them go home the next day. Jensen had tried to put up a fight to not stay the night, but a wave of dizziness when he tried to get out of bed made him sick, and proved the doctor’s point. Jared stayed in his bed, but managed to convince the nurses to scoot the beds closer together. Jensen slept easier with Jared’s hand in his.

Sam fussed over them when they got to go home, setting up both couches with pillows and blankets and stacking movies beside the television. Jensen rolled his eyes, but let her mother them, tears filling his eyes when she told him that she was pregnant. Jared looked away, and had to shuffle to the bathroom and let them have a moment. 

The third day after the excitement, they were both feeling better, and spent a good chunk of the day on Jensen’s front porch, talking with each other and enjoying the quiet warmth of the day. 

At least, until a dark SUV with heavily tinted windows pulled up. 

A man hopped out of the vehicle and Jared sat back against the front steps, where he’d been wrangling two adventurous puppies. The man reached the porch and reached up, taking the aviator sunglasses off of his face.

“Ackles, Pada … whatever. Feeling better?”

Jared rolled his eyes, and Jensen folded his hands over his stomach, gently rocking back and forth in the ancient, slightly squeaky rocking chair.

“Speight, you bastard. What can we do for you?”

Special Agent Richard Speight of the FBI laughed, walking over and crouching down, petting one of the puppies.

“Well, I just wanted to check that you two chuckleheads weren’t any worse for wear.”  
“We’re fine.”  
“And I thought you might want an explanation.”  
“You got that right.”

Speight glanced over at Jared, motioning to the steps beside him. Jared nodded, glancing back at Jensen, who clenched his jaw before resuming his rocking. Jared bit his bottom lip, then turned to the FBI agent.

“Anytime you’re ready.”

Speight laughed, and a puppy made itself at home in his lap. Speight shook his head, hand lifting to pet the dog.

“A few years back, something suspicious came across one of our investigations. A man holding both Russian and American citizenship was causing a bit of a stir in Moscow. Dmitri Krushnic was his name, and we had quite a case built up against him. The CIA was involved, closing in on him, and he disappeared. He’d gone hiking on some mountain and was presumed to have been killed in an avalanche. Body was never found, but more than one witness corroborated the story.”

Speight licked his lips, shaking his head.

“Last year, a routine fingerprinting on a job applicant raised red flags all over the place. Misha Collins?”

Jared nodded.

“Misha Collins and Dmitri Krushnic are one and the same.”  
“No way.”

Speight nodded.

“Once we discovered the new identity, well. We had to figure out a way to take him out, because leopards like Krushnic don’t change their spots. He had to have been in some kind of accident or something though, because he wasn’t this unhinged.”

Speight shrugged his shoulders.

“Jared, we … We’ve had your office under surveillance for the last year.”  
“What?”  
“Yeah. A few of your employees are actually undercover agents. We can’t reveal their identities, but you’ll probably figure it out in a few weeks when they ‘transfer’ or put in their notices.”

Jared pushed a hand through his hair.

“So you … You can just bug our offices and—what about confidentiality? Client privilege? If this gets out, every single case we’ve done could be overturned. Shep—Sheppard could walk!”

Jared pushed both hands into his hair, and Jensen stood up, walking to sit a step above Jared, putting his legs on either side of Jared’s and wrapping him in his arms. Jensen rested his chin on Jared’s shoulder, closing his eyes when Jared leaned back against him.

“It’s okay, Jay.”  
“Jen, if—“  
“Shh. You’re safe. None of that will happen.”

Jared let out a laugh, closing his eyes as he rested his head against Jensen’s jaw.

“How can you be so sure?”  
“Because no one wants to go up against the FBI, kiddo.”

Jared opened one eye, glaring at Speight, who shook his head with a smile.

“Plus … You’ll never be able to prove anything I’ve said. The surveillance equipment was removed when you and Ms. Cortese—followed by Mr. Collins—exited stage left.”

Jared moved a hand up to rest over Jensen’s.

“How’d you know he’d come here?”  
“Because he worked with you on the Sheppard case. He saw how hard you worked, even if it was an uphill battle, out before you even went to bat. We knew he’d never pass up the opportunity to get you on his side, but we never expected him to hit the extremes he did.”

Speight shook his head.

“I’m sorry we didn’t realize it earlier.”

Jared nodded, smiling when Jensen’s hand smoothed over his hair. Speight cleared his throat.

“Agent Kane was more than willing to climb aboard, and with Morgan being … well.”  
“Being what?”

Speight blinked wide eyes at Jensen, then sighed, body seeming to deflate.

“Jeffrey Dean Morgan was one of the most promising recruits the bureau had seen … ever. But he chose to walk away.”  
“What? Why the hell would he do that?”

Speight had a small smile on his face.

“For you, kid.”

Jensen blinked, sitting back, and Jared grabbed his hand. Speight sighed.

“He said his family was the most important thing to him, and he’d much rather raise his nephew than catch bad guys.”

Jensen closed his eyes, and Jared squeezed his wrist. Speight nodded.

“But we couldn’t let someone that incredible just walk away. Morgan’s helped with the Bureau branch here in Texas for years, did a couple gigs in Oklahoma. Like this little sting, and a few other classified things. Kane and Morgan are a kickass team when they get together.”

Jensen licked his lips, and Jared looked up at him, then over at Speight.

“How’d Jensen get involved?”  
“Jeff.”

Jared looked back to Jensen, who sighed.

“He said they needed my help and that he’d explain later. He put a wire on me, up under my shirt, told me he was right behind me, and to stay calm. I—I didn’t know what the hell was going on, until this guy stepped into my kitchen with a gun in his hand.”

Jared laid his hand on Jensen’s knee, squeezing gently, and Jensen sighed again, shaking his head.

“I don’t … I don’t remember what happened. I remember seeing him standing there, and that his eyes were so blue. But the next thing I remember is waking up in that hospital room.”

Jensen bent his head, resting it on Jared’s shoulder, and Jared’s hand gently brushed through his hair. 

“It’s okay now, Jen. We’re okay now.”

Jared smiled as he felt Jensen’s lips press against his shoulder. Speight sighed, licking his lips.

“I’m supposed to tell you guys that the Bureau appreciates your help, and to keep your mouths shut, but … You two did a hell of a good job. I mean, you didn’t even know what you were doing, and you did better than a few seasoned agents I know.”

Jensen let out a laugh, then shook his head.

“Save your breath, Speight. I’ve got this ranch to run and Jeff’s to help maintain, and Jay’s got the practice back in Boston. We ain’t cut out for this much excitement.”

Something in Jared’s heart ached when Jensen mentioned Boston. He knew he had to go back—that was nothing new. His family was in Boston. His job was in Boston. He had friends there, and to be completely honest, Jared’s entire life was in Boston.

But his heart was in Texas.

Speight set the sleeping puppy in his lap aside and stood up, shaking his head and brushing his pants off. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, rifling through it for a moment before pulling out two cards, handing one to Jensen and the other to Jared.

“Just in case you change your mind, give me a call. We’d be lucky to have you guys, even in a reduced capacity, like Mr. Morgan.”

Jensen nodded, raising the card towards Speight. Jared stood up, shaking Speight’s hand before he slid his sunglasses back on his face, sticking his hands in his pockets and whistling as he walked back to his SUV. They watched him climb in the vehicle, salute them, then drive off. Jensen snorted, shaking his head.

“Come on, Jay. Let’s go get something to eat.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

“There you are.”

Jared smiled as Jensen walked over. He heard a grunt, and soon, one bowed leg was nestled against his own. Jensen naturally sprawled wherever he sat, and Jared, for some reason, took comfort in that. He moved his hand to rest against Jensen’s thick calf muscle, staring out at the field, where the sun was slowly dipping low.

“Sunsets are incredible out here.”

Jared nodded.

“I always miss the sunset in Boston. I’m too busy, and there’s too many buildings to see it good anyway.”

He swallowed, shaking his head.

“Jen, I … I don’t want to leave here. Ever.”

He sat for a moment, then turned his head, only to see green eyes staring back at him. Jensen reached over, and Jared’s eyes drifted shut as Jensen brushed a piece of hair away from his forehead.

“You gotta go back, Jay. Your life is in Boston.”  
“But my heart is here.”

Jensen went still, before a soft smile crossed his lips.

“Can we not talk about this right now?”  
“When else can we talk about it? Every time I try, you change the subject or you kiss me or you distract me, and I … We need to discuss this, Jen.”

Jensen sighed, scrubbing his hands through his hair and down his face. 

“Tomorrow.”  
“Jensen—“  
“Let’s talk about it tomorrow, okay?”

Jared sighed, but eventually nodded. Jensen moved until he was sitting behind Jared, legs bracketing Jared’s, and he wrapped his arms around him from behind, pulling until Jared’s back was against Jensen’s chest. Jared sighed again, relaxing back, closing his eyes as the smell of Jensen surrounded him. He opened his eyes again to see the sun slip out of sight, and before the sky was plunged into an inky darkness, Jared felt the soft touch of lips to his cheek. He turned his head, and Jensen’s hand slid up, cupping Jared’s jaw as he brought their lips together.

When Jared was breathing hard, his forehead resting against Jensen’s, a soft whisper broke their stillness.

“Let’s go inside.”

Jared could only nod, letting Jensen help him up, taking his hand and leading him in the back door.


	17. Chapter 17

**SEVENTEEN**

Jared was afraid to say anything. The moment seemed so fragile, like a hard wind could knock it to the ground. He swallowed, eyes widening when Jensen bypassed the kitchen, the living room, the den, and led Jared up the stairs. Jared’s mouth was watering, and when Jensen pushed open his bedroom door, Jared could barely breathe. Jensen stopped, turning to face him and taking hold of Jared’s other hand.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything. But if … if you want to—“  
“I do.”

Green eyes blinked.

“Yeah?”  
“God, Jen. _Yes_.”

Jensen smiled, stepping into the room and pulling Jared in with him. Jared looped his arms around Jensen’s neck, bending slightly to kiss him, and groaned quietly when Jensen’s hands moved to grip his hips. Those hands slid up his body until they were in his hair, and Jared groaned, louder this time, when Jensen got a handful of his hair and tugged gently.

“Guess you didn’t grow out of it, huh?”  
“Kiss me again.”

Jensen laughed as he tangled his hands in Jared’s hair, pressing their lips together, then tugged on Jared’s hair until he was gasping, head falling back, giving Jensen perfect access to suck just beneath his jaw. Jared’s hands gripped Jensen’s shoulders, grasping handfuls of Jensen’s shirt as quiet, hitched moans escaped his lips.

Jared never felt Jensen’s fingers unbuttoning his shirt, but his eyes flew open when Jensen started pushing it off his shoulders. He looked down to see Jensen smiling at him, and Jared shook the shirt off of his arms, letting it fall to the floor as he reached over and took Jensen’s face in his hands, pulling him in, locking their lips together again. The stubble on Jensen’s cheeks tickled Jared’s palms, and he reveled in the feeling as he tilted Jensen’s head, moving him where he wanted him while they kissed. 

Jared broke away from the kiss to gasp out loud when Jensen’s warm hands slid beneath the white t-shirt he wore, and goosebumps broke out over Jared’s skin. Jensen smiled, pressing his lips to Jared’s cheek.

“So sensitive.”

Jared whimpered, lifting his arms as Jensen pushed his shirt up and over Jared’s head. Jared blinked his eyes open when he heard a low whistle, and saw Jensen staring at him, eyes slowly roaming over Jared’s bare torso, at the muscles in his abdomen tensing and tightening, fixating for a moment on his low-slung jeans, the top of his boxers visible above the waistband. Jensen shook his head, meeting Jared’s eyes again.

“Damn, baby.”

Jared smiled, head falling back on a groan as Jensen stepped closer, letting his hands travel up and down over Jared’s abs. 

“You’re gorgeous.”  
“God, Jen.”  
“I got you, sweetheart.”

Jared bent his head, kissing Jensen’s lips again, just one time, before resting his forehead against Jensen’s as he watched himself unbutton Jensen’s shirt. He shivered when Jensen lifted his head a bit, pressing his lips to Jared’s forehead. Jared pushed the button-up off of Jensen’s shoulders, then sat down on the bed with a laugh as Jensen pushed him. 

Jared smiled up at Jensen, licking his lips as he watched Jensen reach behind his head, taking hold of the white t-shirt that was always present under the button up shirts he wore, tugging it up and off. Jared let out a breath when he was able to take in the sight of the man before him. Jensen wasn’t as chiseled as Jared himself was, but the strength was evident. Jared reached out, placing his hands on Jensen’s skin, and Jensen closed his eyes, his head falling back. 

Jensen sucked in a breath, eyes flashing open as he looked down to see Jared on his knees in front of him, working on undoing his belt. Jensen swiped his tongue over, then bit his bottom lip, and Jared looked up, kaleidoscope eyes full of emotion. Jensen swallowed, and Jared gently pulled his belt from the loops, dropping it to the ground.

“Jay, you … You don’t …”

Jensen swallowed again as Jared unbuttoned his jeans, slowly dragging the zipper down. Jared nodded, pushing the jeans and Jensen’s boxers down, licking his lips when he took Jensen’s erection in his hand. Jensen reached out, hand slamming against one of the posts of the bed, groaning loudly.

“Oh, god.”

Jared stroked him once, slowly dragging his hand from root to tip, causing Jensen to breathe in a choked gasp, and Jared took in a deep breath before leaning forward and taking Jensen’s throbbing cock into his mouth. Jensen gave a long, low groan, hands automatically moving to tangle in Jared’s hair.

“ _Shit_ , Jay.”

Jared smiled as he swirled his tongue around, moaning at the sweet, yet somewhat dark, taste of Jensen in his mouth. He slowly bobbed his head as his hands slid up to rest on Jensen’s hips, pulling him in even deeper—until Jensen stepped back, leaving Jared to falter a bit, reaching out a hand for the bedpost in order to steady himself. Jensen knelt in front of him, cupping Jared’s face in his hands and kissing him hard, until Jared lowered himself backwards, lying on the floor, Jensen straddling his hips, neither of them able to breathe from the kissing. 

But then again, neither of them were really complaining. 

Jensen finally pulled back, pushing his fingers through Jared’s hair.

“You still … God, Jay.”

He leaned in to press his lips to Jared’s one more time, then pushed himself up. Jared sat up, accepting the hand Jensen offered him, closing his eyes when, as soon as he stood up, he was wrapped in Jensen’s arms. 

“Jay, I …”

Jared gave a shaky laugh.

“I know, Jen.”  
“I’ve missed you so much.”

Jared squeezed his closed eyes even tighter, pressing his lips together hard. His voice was throaty and hoarse, barely even a whisper.

“I missed you, too.”

Jensen moved his head to press his lips against Jared’s temple, rubbing a hand up and down his back. Jared put his face in Jensen’s neck, breathing in deeply, exhaling a broken breath. Jensen kissed his cheek again, then whispered to him.

“Get on the bed.”

Jared leaned back to look at him, and Jensen lifted his hands, wiping away a tear Jared didn’t realize had fallen. Jared sat on the bed, lying back when Jensen’s hand gently pressed him down. Jared bit his lip when Jensen unbuckled his belt, leaving it in the loops. Jared reached his hands up, rubbing at Jensen’s shoulders and biceps as he undid his button fly, lifting his hips without being asked, for Jensen to tug his jeans and boxers off.

“Goddamn, Jay.”

Jared had his eyes clenched shut, groaning out loud when Jensen reached out to grasp his hot, throbbing shaft. Jensen gave a gentle squeeze, pumping his hand up and down, and Jared reached down, grabbing tightly to his wrist, shaking his head. Jared was moaning, chest heaving, gasping for breath.

“You—you can’t. Jen, you—oh God.”  
“Shh, baby. Breathe.”

Jensen leaned over, removing his hand from Jared’s cock, rubbing over his heaving chest. Jared whined deep in his throat, and Jensen bent down, pressing gentle kisses to Jared’s neck and jaw. He lifted his head, meeting Jared’s eyes, watching him take a deep breath, then exhale slowly.

“I want you.”

Jensen smiled, pushing himself up Jared’s body, until he was hovering over him, lips a millimeter from Jared’s.

“You got me, baby.”

He lowered his mouth, kissing Jared deeply, lifting his head when the hand he’d slipped into his side table found the bottle of lube. They both glanced over, then back to each other and Jared nodded. Jensen let out a breath, and Jared moved his hand around the bottle, flicking the top open.

“Don’t be easy.”  
“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Jared laughed out loud, reaching up to take hold of Jensen’s smiling face, pulling him down and kissing him. While they kissed, Jensen slid his hand down between them, and Jared spread his legs a bit wider.

“How long’s it been?”

Jared let out a quiet laugh.

“That’s not something I really want to discuss at this moment, Jen.”

Jensen lifted an eyebrow, and Jared lifted a hand, pushing it through his hair.

“I don’t …”

Jensen looked at Jared’s chest, then slowly dragged his eyes back to meet the stormy, multihued hazel. Jared sighed.

“Ten years, all right?”

Jensen’s eyes widened, mouth falling slightly open, and Jared covered his face with his hands. Jensen shook his head.

“You haven’t—“  
“Of course I have, but not … I didn’t trust anyone else to …”

Jared groaned, then propped himself onto his elbows, looking directly into Jensen’s eyes.

“There is no one else that I trust enough to bottom for, okay? I tried, and I couldn’t. I didn’t want to, not if it wasn’t you.”

Jensen smiled, leaning forward and kissing Jared again, slowly and deeply. Jared relaxed back onto the pillows, and Jensen lifted his head.

“I am going to be easy.”  
“Jen—”  
“As easy as I can. I don’t want to hurt you, Jay.”

Jared gave a quiet laugh, hands coming up to cup Jensen’s face.

“I’m not gonna break.”  
“Humor me.”

Jared laughed again, trailing off into a moan as he felt the soft, almost curious touch of Jensen’s finger.

“Oh, god.”  
“Breathe, and relax.”  
“Don’t tell me what to— _Christ_.”

Jensen smiled, and it slid from his face as he bit his lip. Jared always ran hot, but inside, he was like fire. Jensen took his time opening Jared, watching the fluttering breaths from that massive chest, seeing his eyes clench shut tight, then relax. He watched Jared’s tongue sneak out to wet his lips time and time again, and when Jensen pushed a second finger in, Jared groaned.

Jensen nosed at Jared’s ear, taking it between his teeth as he began to scissor his fingers apart. Jared groaned, reaching up, digging his fingers into the meat of Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen sucked a mark onto Jared’s neck, just under his ear, and pushed another finger inside. Jared shook his head, biting his bottom lip, back arching when Jensen’s fingers slid across his prostate.

“Oh, God, Jen!”

Jensen smiled, kissing the mark he’d just made, pushing himself up and looking down at Jared, twisting his fingers inside him. Jared groaned, throwing his arms around Jensen’s neck, digging his fingers into Jensen’s back. Jensen kissed Jared’s shoulder as he reached back into the nightstand, pulling a condom out and moving it to his mouth, preparing to rip it open with his teeth.

Jared reached up, pulling the little packet out from between Jensen’s teeth, shaking it between his fingers. He glanced at it, rolling it between his fingers.

“We don’t … I mean, you don’t have to …”

Jared sighed, then flicked his eyes up to Jensen’s.

“I’m clean, Jen. You’re the only one I’ve ever …”

Jared licked his lips, and Jensen moved a hand to move his fingers up and down Jared’s jaw line.

“I … I’m clean, too. But Jay, we—"  
“Shh. I want you, and I want this. Please, Jen.”

Jensen moved to rest his forehead against Jared’s.

“Roll over for me.”

Jared shook his head, and Jensen leaned back to look down at him. Jared shook his head again, moving his hands to rest against Jensen’s sides.

“I want to see you.”

Jensen smiled, shaking his head as he leaned down, pressing his lips to Jared’s again, holding them there for a long minute. Jared tensed when he felt Jensen move in closer, but the touch of a warm hand pressed to his heart relaxed him.

“Just breathe for me, Jay.”

Jared nodded, and Jensen reached down between them, taking his cock in hand and gently pressing forward. Jared sucked in a breath, and Jensen groaned.

“God, you’re still so tight.”  
“Jen.”  
“Relax, baby.”

Jared nodded, arms immediately coming up to wrap around Jensen, breath sounding like it was punched from his lungs. Jensen groaned again as he pushed forward, and Jared’s fingers flexed, digging his nails into Jensen’s back, causing Jensen to groan again.

“You feel so good, Jay.”  
“Jen.”

Jared whimpered, exhaling sharply in unison with Jensen when he was finally completely in. Jared was clawing at his back, whimpering and gasping, and Jensen had his eyes clenched shut tight, one hand buried in Jared’s hair, his face at the place where Jared’s neck and shoulder met.

“Oh, god. _Oh, god,_ Jen.”

Jensen couldn’t speak. He gave a broken moan, rocking his hips forward, and Jared sobbed out a broken cry.

“Yes. Jen. _Yes_.”

For ten years, Jared had felt incomplete. For an entire decade, he felt as though he’d been breathing with one lung, like some vital part of himself was missing. And now, with Jensen’s arms tight around him, Jensen’s lips against his, Jensen so deep _inside_ him, Jared felt whole again. The tears came unbidden down his cheeks, and he couldn’t even try to hide the smile on his face.

“I love you. Oh my god, I love you so much.”

He didn’t even realize the words were slipping from his lips. It was barely even a whisper, but he kept repeating himself as Jensen’s thrusts sped up. Jared’s words began to be interspersed with gasps and groans, broken up when Jensen kissed him again and again. Jared finally gasped when Jensen reached down and grasped his cock.

“You close, Jay?”

Jared could only nod, groaning as Jensen stroked him, thrusting in and pressing deep before pulling back. Two more thrusts, and Jared gasped, breath hitching in his throat, every muscle in his body tensing tightly—almost painfully—before suddenly letting loose. He felt the warm splashes against his own chest and stomach, groaning when he felt Jensen’s hips stutter and still, before warmth spread through him.

It almost hurt, the hard way he was breathing. Jensen’s body on top of him should have been too much, but it was a comforting weight, thawing a place deep in Jared’s soul that had been too long frozen. Jared felt his eyes growing heavy, and he licked his lips, moving his head slightly to press his mouth to Jensen’s hair, the only thing he could reach, hearing a quiet whisper before he drifted to sleep.

_”I love you, too.”_


	18. Chapter 18

**EIGHTEEN**

Jared let out a quiet groan when he finally woke up. He’d been sleeping soundly, more so than he had in a very long time, mainly due to the fact that he was worn out. Jensen had woken him up in the middle of the night, all but fucking him into the mattress, and Jared had woken Jensen up just before dawn to ride him until they both—quite literally—passed out.

But now, Jared was alone. Deliciously sore and still exhausted, but alone. 

He groaned as he pulled himself up, yawning as he gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, scratching at his chest. He walked to the bathroom, then tugged on a pair of pajama bottoms, only then seeing the clock beside Jensen’s bed. 

He let out a laugh. He hadn’t slept until 1:30 in the afternoon since college. He walked to the top of the stairs and leaned over the bannister.

“Hey, you jerk. Why didn’t you wake me up before now?”

Jared narrowed his eyes when he didn’t hear anything, except a quiet yip. He made his way down the stairs, going to the laundry room and petting the gaggle of puppies that made their way over to him, excited little barks sounding and making him smile. He lifted one puppy—a particularly snuggly one—into his arms and carried her around, scratching her little head as he searched the house. 

He ended back up in the kitchen, peeking out the window, seeing the gray truck missing. Jared felt a tickle at the base of his skull, and he shook his head, going to drop the now-sleeping puppy back at the laundry room before going to shower and head over to JD’s.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared knocked on the back door, poking his head inside a second later. He stepped inside and took his boots off, leaving them by the door and lifted his head, seeing Sam walk in from the hallway. She was pale, but she gave him a smile.

“Hey there.”  
“You okay?”

Green eyes rolled.

“I’m pregnant, Jared. I’m sick, but I’m fine. I’m not dying, I’m not fragile, I’m not going to break. The sooner you men get that through your heads, the better off we’ll all be.”

Jared held his hands up, and Sam let out a laugh, walking over and hugging him. After a second, she stepped back, walking over and sitting at the bar.

“I’d ask if you wanted something, but—“  
“I can get it. I’m not—I don’t want anything.”

Sam nodded, smiling to herself.

“What’s going on, honey?”

Jared licked his lips, taking a seat beside her.

“Where’s Jensen? His truck was gone, and I don’t see it around here. He didn’t tell me where he was going.”

Sam blinked, and Jared narrowed his eyes.

“What is that?”  
“What?”  
“That look. What’s going on?”

Sam sighed, lifting a hand to push at her hair. 

“Jeff and Jensen went to some kind of auction or something, in … in Wyoming.”

Jared sat back, and Sam shook her head.

“I thought Jeff said that …”

She bit her lip, and Jared leaned forward again.

“What? What did he say?”

Sam sighed again, then looked over to him.

“Honey…”

She reached over and laid her hand over his.

“A month ago, Jensen said he was going to take you to this auction. That it would be a special thing for the two of you, and … And this morning, he called and woke us up, told Jeff that he needed him right then.”

Jared shook his head, and Sam squeezed his hand.

“I don’t know anything else. But they should be home in a day or so.”

Jared swallowed, shaking his head again, staring at the countertop.

“Why would … why would he call JD? I was … I was right there.”  
“Jared.”

He shook his head, standing up and walking out the door. Sam closed her eyes, letting out a long breath as she folded her hands and rested her forehead on them.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared did a few things around the ranches—both Jensen’s and JD’s—helping out where he was needed. He had a long talk with Chris Kane, one that spanned an entire day, giving him a better insight into how Jensen was in their time apart.

Three days after he woke up alone, while he was doing his best to fix sections of the fence that surrounded Jensen’s property, Jared looked up to see a big black truck driving down the road. He stood up, wiping his sweat-soaked face on a bandanna he’d discovered in Jensen’s office, and walked toward the truck. He stopped when JD climbed out, a hat on his head and dark sunglasses on his face. 

Jared swallowed, steeling his shoulders, closing the gap between them. JD slid his hand in his back pocket, and Jared watched his shoulders rise and fall from the deep breath he’d taken. Jared nodded, darting his tongue out to lick his lips.

“He’s not coming back, is he?”  
“Jared, he—“  
“Just answer me, please?”

JD ran a hand over his mouth, down his beard, and shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry.”

Jared nodded, staring at the ground. He felt a muscle twitch in his jaw, then he spoke, voice rough.

“What did I do?”  
“I don’t know. That’s between you two, kid. He wanted me to give you this.”

Jared took the envelope from JD, nodding his head. JD reached out, squeezing Jared’s shoulder, then turning and going back to his truck. Jared stared at the envelope, one word written on the front, in Jensen’s all capital lettered scrawl.

“Jay.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

_”Jay,_

_I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but … I don’t know what else to say. I thought I could do it. I thought I could have you for a moment and let you go when the time came, but I can’t. Ten fucking years, you know? And I haven’t learned a damn thing._

_You could never be a one-time thing for me. I love you too much for you to be just a drop in the bucket to me. You’re everything, Jay. And I know that reading those words probably makes you even more confused than you already are. I’m sorry._

_The other night, after the last time, I laid there for the longest time, just watching you sleep. The sun came up and seemed to dance across your face, and you looked … You looked so peaceful. It was the first time that I’d seen you look relaxed, and—I don’t know what happened. I panicked, I guess. I got up and dressed as quietly as I could, went and woke Jeff up and begged him to get me out of there. I couldn’t breathe, Jay._

_All I wanted to do was stay in that bed with you. I wanted to hold you and make love to you and just be with you for the rest of our lives, and I know that’s not realistic. Not for us. You’ve got to go back to Boston, and my life’s in Texas. I can’t ask you to give up everything that you’ve worked so hard for, and I don’t think I can live in Boston. So, instead of talking it out like adults, I left. Maybe it’s the coward’s way of doing things, but it’s what I’m good at._

_I hate to do this, Jay, but … You need to go. You need to get your stuff and go back to Boston. Maybe this time will be easier, since we didn’t get to say goodbye. You’ll be gone by the time I get back, and this little whatever it was can be a happy memory for you._

_Be good to Genevieve. Be happy, Jay. I love you, and I guess I always will._

_-Jen_ ”


	19. Chapter 19

**NINETEEN**

A lot of things can happen in six months.

Jared sat in his office and looked out the window, slouched down in his comfortable chair, hands folded over his stomach, feet pressed against the window and gently rocking the chair from side to side. He didn’t have any cases to work on, no files to flip through, nothing weighing on him at the moment. Instead, he was taking the time to look back over the past six months of his life.

He started in January, with the preparation he did for the Sheppard trial. The trial ate up February, and March was when he was, basically, attacked. March was also when he went to Texas, and he stayed there until mid-June. Then he came back home, and July was coming in just a few days. 

And when he put it like that, in simple, almost clinical terms, it didn’t hurt so damn bad. 

He sighed, spinning his chair around to face his desk. He glanced out the front windows, out into the floor office, heart clenching in his chest when he saw Genevieve tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, piling another file into a box. 

He couldn’t help the smile on his face when he saw how bare her hand was.

*-*-*-*-*-*

_Two Weeks Earlier_

“Jared?”

He looked up, a smile coming over his face when he saw her standing there. He stood up from his desk, walking around, taking her in his arms as she squeezed him with all her might. She stood on her tiptoes, cupping his face in her hands.

“You okay?”

He gave her a sad smile in response, and Genevieve sighed.

“You’re so tan, though. I’m jealous.”

Jared laughed, shaking his head. 

“It wasn’t a vacation, G. I worked for four months, outside most of the time.”  
“Ugh, no thanks. I spent four months on my mother’s couch, letting her baby and cook for me.”

Jared laughed, sitting on the edge of his desk, keeping hold of her hand. 

“But you’re okay? No more—”  
“Nothing. Guess Collins just wanted you.”

Jared sighed, nodding his head.

“I’m glad he left you alone.”

Genevieve nodded, looking down and biting her plump bottom lip. Jared tilted his head to the side, then squeezed her hand.

“Hey.”

Genevieve looked up at him, dark eyes wide. Jared smiled, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand.

“What is it?”

Genevieve sighed, tears filling her eyes. Jared’s eyebrows drew together, and he stood up.

“Hey, what? What’s wrong?”

Genevieve shook her head, and Jared took her into his arms. She buried her face against his chest, and Jared smoothed a hand down her silky black hair. She sniffled, finally pulling away from him, sitting in the chair across from his desk. He perched himself on the edge of his desk again, looking at her with concern written all over his face. She took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly.

“Jared, I … I met someone.”

His eyes widened, blinking twice. Genevieve sighed, pushing a hand through her hair and nodding.

“The FBI agent they’d assigned to protect me, he …”

Jared watched her face go soft, a gentle look in her eyes as she looked down at her hands.

“His name is Tahmoh. I know; it’s weird. But having a name like ‘Genevieve’ isn’t exactly ‘normal’ either. He’s big and intimidating, but he … Jared, he’s the kindest man I’ve ever met. He’s quiet and sweet, gentle and _very_ good looking, and he—“

She caught herself, wide eyes looking to Jared as a blush colored her cheeks. He let out a laugh.

“He sounds great.”  
“He is.”

Jared kept smiling, then stood from where he’d been, kneeling down in front of Genevieve. 

“Does he know?”

She nodded, tears filling her eyes.

“He’s so easy to talk to, and he didn’t act like I was repulsive or anything.”  
“Because you’re not, sweetie.”

She closed her eyes, nodding her head. Jared reached up to cup her face in his hand, and she leaned into his touch.

“I told him about us, and he understood, Jared. He didn’t act like it was crazy or stupid or anything. He _understood_.”

Jared leaned forward, kissing her forehead and pulling her to his chest.

“What happens now, G?”

She sighed, moving her arms under his, resting her palms against his back, moving her chin to his shoulder. 

“Now, I … I give you back this ring and Tahmoh’s transferring to the Boston branch of the Bureau.”

Jared closed his eyes, then turned his head, kissing her cheek and whispering into her ear.

“I am so happy for you. Do you hear me? I am not mad at you; I don’t hate you. I love you, and I am so glad you’ve found someone who realizes how incredible you are.”

Genevieve sobbed, putting her face in his shoulder, and Jared tightened his hold on her. 

“Do not worry about me. I’m fine.”  
“Jared…”  
“I promise, sweetheart.”

She nodded, and they finally pulled apart. Genevieve wiped her eyes with a tissue Jared handed her, and he went to sit on the edge of his desk again. She sighed, looking down, then pulling the diamond off of her finger. Jared swallowed, but smiled as she held it out to him, and he closed his hand around the ring. She spoke softly.

“Thank you, for giving it to me. For … wanting to protect me and take care of me. You’re a good man, Jared Padalecki.”

He smiled as he looked down at the ring. Genevieve stood up, taking his face in her hands and gently kissing his temple before she walked out of the room.

*-*-*-*-*-*

There was a knock at the door, and Jared glanced up, seeing his brother with his arms crossed, leaning against the frame. Jared pressed his lips together in some semblance of a smile, then went back to typing on his keyboard. Matt cleared his throat, and Jared cut his eyes over.

“Can I help you?”  
“God, I hope so.”

Jared rolled his eyes, and Matt sauntered in, closing the door behind him and sitting in the chair in front of Jared’s desk. He moved to sit sideways, with his legs hanging off the arm of the chair, and Jared shook his head, continuing to type. After a moment, Matt spoke.

“Don’t ignore me.”  
“Don’t barge in here without an appointment while I’m working.”  
“First of all, I didn’t ‘barge in.’ Second, since when do I need an appointment to talk to my brother? Third, what crawled up your ass and died?”

Jared sighed, pushing himself back from the computer. 

“What do you want?”

Matt stared at him for a moment, then pushed himself into a normal sitting position. He met Jared’s eyes again, then exhaled.

“Talk to me, Jare. I’m worried about you.”  
“Jesus. I’m fine.”  
“No, you’re not.”

Jared let his head fall back on the chair and Matt sat up straighter.

“Four months ago, you hightailed it out of here, and I didn’t blame you. I can only guess what went on, but you come back and throw yourself into your work, break off the engagement, and I barely see you outside this building.”  
“Matt—“  
“I’m not finished.”

Jared sat back, and Matt stood up, pacing as he spoke.

“I get secondhand information that a man I hired to do a job in this company tried to kill my brother—twice, mind you—but everything’s fine now, he’s in jail, and brother’s home again, but the furthest thing from fine. So do me a favor: stop lying and tell me the goddamned truth.”

Jared blinked, and Matt let out a breath before crossing his arms over his chest. After a second, Jared sighed.

“You’re right. I’m not okay, but I … I don’t know what else to do.”  
“What do you mean?”

Jared sighed, rubbing a hand over his unshaven face. He’d finally gotten past the “homeless guy” look and was dealing with a nice growth of beard. 

“I haven’t been able to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about it. Cliffsnote’s version is: I saw Jensen, thought we could try again, but he left, and I left before he got back home.”

Jared shrugged, and Matt sighed. 

“Why couldn’t you?”

Jared raised an eyebrow, and Matt nodded.

“Why couldn’t you try again?”

Jared let out a laugh.

“Because, according to one of my new little friends, a leopard can’t change its spots.”

Matt blinked, then made a face.

“Well, yeah. Because it’s a leopard.”

Jared looked up, and Matt shrugged his shoulders.

"Leopards can't change their spots because they're leopards. The spots they have are the ones they're born with, right? But, Jare..."

Matt let out a quiet laugh.

“Jare, people aren’t leopards. People _can_ change, no matter what anyone says.”

Jared blinked, and Matt sighed. 

“I’m going to shoot straight with you for a minute.”

Matt walked over, placing his hands on Jared’s desk and leaning forward. 

“You have loved that man for a good, long time. That’s clearly not going to change. But, Jare, you are not the same guy you were ten years ago. Back then, you were a scared little kid who let insecurities get the better of him. Now, you are an accomplished adult with his own money, business, ideas, beliefs, whatever. I’ve told you a hundred times before—the only person who has a problem with you is _you_.”

Matt smiled, leaning over and placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I don’t want you to become old Uncle Jared that everyone talks about because he’s lonely and full of regrets, okay? I love you, and I’m proud of you, but you … You lost him once, you know? Don’t be stupid enough to let it happen again. And, Mr. 4.0, I know ‘stupid’ isn’t anywhere near an adjective that can be used to describe you.”

Jared huffed a laugh, and Matt squeezed his shoulder, then left the office.

*-*-*-*-*-*

“Where’s Gen?”

Jared’s eyes widened, turning around and looking down, at the sweet little voice that had just asked him a question. Jared blinked, then smiled as he knelt down to his nephew’s level.

“Hey, Aaron. How you doing, buddy?”

Aaron walked over, stepping right into Jared’s arm, nestling himself at Jared’s side, placing a little hand on Jared’s knee.

“Where’s Gen, Uncle Jared?”

Jared smiled at the way Aaron’s R’s still sounded like W’s. He’d never say it, but he absolutely cherished the way Aaron called him “unca Ja-wed.” Jared rubbed his hand up and down Aaron’s back, then cleared his throat.

“Gen is—“

He let out a breath, then smiled again.

“She’s not going to be here today, buddy.”  
“Did you have a fight?”

Jared laughed.

“No, buddy. We didn’t fight. She, uh ... she’s got new friends to have parties with.”  
“Are you still getting married?”

“Mawwied” made Jared smile. Aaron went on, reaching his little hand over to play with the buttons on Jared’s shirt. 

“Are you and Gen getting married like Mommy and Daddy? Like Nana and Papa?”

Jared shook his head, keeping the smile on his face.

“No, buddy. Gen and I are friends, but we’re not going to get married.”  
“Are you sad?”

Jared laughed under his breath.

“Maybe a little bit.”

Aaron turned and put his arms around Jared’s neck, squeezing with all his might, then moved back and pressed his lips to the tip of Jared’s nose. Jared blinked, a soft smile on his face, and Aaron smiled, showcasing the little dimples in his cheeks.

“That’s what Mommy does when I feel sad.”  
“Well, thank you, buddy.”

Aaron hurried off to where Jim had just stepped outside, a pan of burgers in his hand, heading for the grill.

“Papa, I need to help you!”

Jared laughed, standing to his feet. A distinctly feminine laugh sounded behind him, and he turned just in time to see his sister-in-law step out of the house with the baby in her arms. Grace cooed and squealed, stretching her hands towards Jared, and he laughed as he reached over, taking her into his arms.

“Hey there, beautiful.”

Grace cooed, snuggling close to him, breathing out a sigh. Jared glanced over, and Julie shook her head.

“It’s nap time, and apparently, you’re her favorite spot.”

Jared smiled, gently patting the baby on the back, and Julie smiled as she stepped up beside him, crossing her arms over her chest, shaking her head at her son.

“He’s trying to grow up too fast and I can’t stop him.”

She sighed, and Jared felt a tug in his heart. After a moment, Jared spoke softly.

“Julie, can I … can I ask you a question?”

She glanced back, smiling at her sleeping daughter on Jared’s shoulder. She met his eyes, gaze going soft.

“Of course you can, honey. You know that.”

Jared nodded, swallowing before he spoke.

“You and Matt were together for a long time before he finally proposed. Why did you stick around?”

Julie smiled, biting her lip before she brought her dark eyes to Jared’s.

“We’d been together for almost ten years. It would take too long for me to break in somebody else.”

Jared laughed, shushing the baby when she stirred, then quieted. Julie sighed.

“I ‘stuck around,’ as you put it, because I loved him. I still love him. He’s the best man I’ve ever met—no offense.”

Jared smiled, and she went on.

“He’s kind and funny. He does all kinds of little things so I know he’s thinking of me. He’s an incredible father, he provides for us, more than we need, if we’re honest. But that all came after. He may be a little slow on the uptake, but it’s worth it.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know. He … I know it’s cliché, but it’s comfortable with him. Not boring, but … Happy. I’m just happy. Matt makes me happy. Being with Matt and our kids, with you guys, it is comfortable and makes me happy, and I honestly wouldn’t want anything else.”

Jared swallowed again, his throat dry, hand resting on the baby’s back. Julie smiled as she stepped over, gently taking the sleeping baby out of Jared’s arms. Julie laid a hand on Jared’s arm, leaning in and whispering softly.

“I can’t tell you what to do, darling. But if I thought for one second that there was someone that could make you as happy as Matt makes me … Well, I’d have the jet fueled and waiting at the airstrip.”

Jared looked down, then glanced over at Julie, who pursed her lips, raised her eyebrows, and walked away, murmuring softly to the stirring baby. Jared pushed his hands through his hair, walking over to the grill, patting Aaron’s head and taking a beer from Matt, drinking deeply.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jared knocked softly on the office door, and Jim smiled when he stepped inside. Jim set aside his pen, moved the glasses off of his face and sat back in his chair.

“Well, look who decided to come in...”

Jim glanced down at his watch, letting out a laugh.

“Three hours late. Son, I, uh, I hate to break it to you, but casual Friday, this is not.”

Jared laughed as he smoothed a hand down the front of his red plaid shirt, tucked into a pair of jeans. Jim raised an eyebrow, and Jared stepped in front of the desk. 

“Dad, I … I’ve got to tell you something.”  
“Okay.”

Jared smiled.

“I quit.”

Jim blinked, eyes going wide, and Jared laughed.

“I just … I can’t let this go again, Dad. The four months I was in Texas was like … like a breath of fresh air. I could breathe down there. I didn’t have any cases I needed to work on, no phone calls to make or take, no dinners with the mayor or a senator or a city official. There was work to do, of course, but it was good, honest, hard work. Not saying that this isn’t—“  
“I know what you’re saying, son. Go on.”

Jared nodded, licking his lips.

“I was happy there, Dad. And I was … I was happy to be myself.”

Jim tilted his head, and Jared smiled.

“I’m tired of hiding. I still can’t shout it from the rooftops, but I’m working on it. I’m …”

Jared hung his head, for just a second, then raised it and met his father’s eyes.

“I’m a gay man. And I’m in love with Jensen Ackles, and I will not be stupid enough to let him go again.”

Jim smiled, then let out a laugh. He stood up from his desk, walking around it until he could wrap Jared in a bear hug. Jared laughed, closing his eyes as he hugged his father back, and Jim finally spoke.

“Go. Jet’s been gassed up and waiting ever since you came home.”  
“Are you—“  
“What, you think we’re all blind? We started out taking bets, but your mother caught on and grounded us.”

Jared laughed.

“’Us?’”  
“Well, Matt and I. And Julie.”

Jared shook his head, then hugged his father again. Jim tightened his arms around his son.

“You will come back and visit, you hear? And you tell Morgan to clear out a space for us, because God knows, Sam will be dragging me down to Texas as soon as she can.”

Jared smiled.

“I will, Dad. Thank you.”


	20. Chapter 20

**TWENTY**

“What do you think? Is ‘Cinnamon Bun’ too dark? Or should we go with ‘Fortune Cookie?’ More importantly, who the hell names paint?”

Jensen sighed, shaking his head. He turned back around, to the five puppies that were sitting with their heads tilted, staring at him. He glanced around to find the two stragglers, mischievous little dogs that were always getting into things, and shook his head. He turned back to the bare boards behind him, swiping a paintbrush on them. 

“All right, guys. One, or two?”

‘One’ seemed to get more yips than ‘two’ did, so Jensen nodded.

“Cinnamon Bun it is, then.”

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his now-four-days-unshaven face, reaching out to grab the paintbrush again. He stopped, though, when he looked and saw an unfamiliar navy blue truck coming down the road. The puppies started barking, doing a horribly squeaky imitation of howling, and Jensen couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Attack dogs, stand down. Jeez.”

The truck rumbled up the driveway, coming to a stop just behind Jensen’s own gray truck. Jensen wiped his hands on a rag he had out near the paintbrush, then went walking towards the truck, coming to a hard stop when a white beanie popped out of the driver’s side. Jensen’s mouth went dry as he watched six-foot, four-inches of his heart unfold from the vehicle. 

“Jar … Jared?”

Jared sighed, holding out his hands. 

“I tried. Okay? I read your bullshit letter and I tried to go back.”  
“Bullshit? I spent a lot of time on that letter.”  
“Oh, please!”

Jared laughed.

“That was absolute bullshit and you know it.”

Jensen went to step forward, but stepped back instead, a smile coming over his face.

“Oh, I get it. You’re trying to bait me.”  
“Why would I bait you?”  
“Why don’t _you_ tell _me_?”

Jared sighed, shaking his head.

“I did read the letter. And I did try to go back. The whole time I was here, you told me that you’d have me while you could and when the time was up, we’d deal.”

Jensen nodded, and Jared went on.

“I didn’t want the time to be up, Jen. I didn’t want to go back, but you constantly pushed me towards it. And I went, because I … I don’t know why. I had to, I guess. But Jen … My heart is here. Everything that matters to me is here.”

Jared stepped closer, reaching out and taking both of Jensen’s hands in his.

“ _You_ are here.”  
“Jay—”

Jensen shook his head, tried to take a step back, but Jared kept a tight hold on his hands. Jensen let out a breath.

“It’s not going to work with us.”  
“Why not?”  
“Look at our history.”

Jared let out a laugh.

“Seriously? Jen, that was ten years ago. I was young and dumb. I’m not the same guy anymore. I—I quit my job.”  
“You what?!”

Jared nodded, laughing again.

“I did.”  
“Have you lost your damn mind?”  
“Apparently.”

Jensen stopped, closing his eyes, then looking up to Jared.

“You quit your job?”  
“Yes. And I sold my apartment. Well, not really ‘sold,’ per se, but I signed the whole lease over to Genevieve.”  
“Genevieve, your fiancé?”  
“No, not anymore.”

Jensen took his hands from Jared then, placing them on top of his own head as he walked in a circle.

“I’m so confused right now.”  
“Well, hop aboard this crazy train.”

Jensen licked his lips, shook his head, then met Jared’s eyes. He walked over, standing in front of Jared, staring intently at his face. Jared smiled, speaking softly.

“Genevieve met a guy. She gave me back the ring. I spoke with nearly every person in my family, including the three-year-old, and they helped me see what a colossal idiot I am. I told Dad this morning that I quit, and flew down here, bought a truck, and … Well…”

Jared shrugged his shoulders. 

“I let you walk away once, because I was young and scared and stupid. I’m not that guy anymore. I have regretted letting you go from the second you walked away, and I’m tired of living with that regret. I love you, and I always have. I always will. And I’m not going to let you go again.”

He stepped forward, reaching out and taking Jensen’s hand.

“If you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of our lives making up to you how wrong I was to let you go, and proving how much I love you.”

Jensen shook his head, huffing out a laugh.

“You’re crazy, you know that?”  
“Maybe so.”

Jensen shook his head again, then stepped in, taking Jared’s face in his hands.

“I was one day away from calling your dad and seeing if he’d give me an interview. I was going to move to Boston and hope I could talk you into moving back here in a year or two.”  
“Are you serious?”  
“Dead serious.”

Jared laughed, moving his hands to run up and down Jensen’s arms.

“So can I stay?”  
“I’m sure JD can make a room for you at his place.”  
“Not with a nursery to prepare.”  
“You’re right. Maybe Dixie and her motley crew will share the laundry room with you.”

Jared laughed.

“You’re such an ass.”  
“You love it.”

Jared smiled, leaning closer.

“I really do.”

Jensen smiled, closing the space between them, pressing his lips to Jared’s.

*-*-*-*-*-*

_One Year Later_

“And that’s why, whenever anyone tries to put you down or bully you, you hit them with a hard left hook and come find Uncle Jared. We’ll sue ‘em for everything they’ve got.”

Jared laughed when the baby in his arms cooed sweetly. He bent down and kissed her chubby little cheek, then straightened up, staring down at her with a smile on his face. 

Melissa Faith Morgan was as gorgeous as her namesake, Jensen’s mother and JD’s sister. She had all of Sam’s delicate features, but with JD’s coloring. Her shock of black hair was starting to curl gently, and her eyes, once as dark as her father’s, had surprisingly lightened, and seemed to be taking on the green of her mother’s. Missy was a good baby, always happy and between her father and the various uncles she had through the ranch, she was almost always being held. 

Jared couldn’t help but smile when he thought back to the day Missy was born. Sam had been adamant about not finding out the sex of the baby, and—as usual—JD went along with whatever she asked. When the doctor announced that it was a girl, (Sam had to tell them this since they were stuck in a waiting room down the hall) JD went pale and completely passed out. Sam just laughed and laughed, holding her daughter for the first time while a nurse brought JD back to consciousness. One look at Sam holding their daughter, and he was hooked.

“Hey!”

Jared glanced back, smiling wider as Jensen stepped onto the porch, crisp white button-up shirt open at the throat, tie stuffed in his back pocket. Jensen sat down beside Jared, leaning to kiss him, then laying a hand on the baby, who babbled and cooed when she saw him.

“I wondered who’d snaked the baby.”  
“Oh, you know. I thought Sam and JD might need a minute.”  
“We give them any longer than that and little miss Missy here might not be an only child.”

Jared laughed, leaning over to rest his head against Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen cupped his hand over Missy’s dark hair, smiling as she yawned. He nodded towards the baby, murmuring softly.

“You want one of these?”  
“Why, you pregnant?”

Jensen snorted, then leaned in closer.

“If one of us was to be pregnant, you know it’d be you, baby.”

Jared’s cheeks flushed, and Jensen laughed as he leaned in and kissed the warm flesh.

“I’m serious, though.”

Jared sighed, lifting a shoulder.

“Not really. I mean, if you did, of course. But … I’m kind of loving just being Uncle Jared. I know we’ll probably have her for sleepovers and things, and God knows they’ll have another one—“  
“Or two or three. However many Sam wants.”

Jared nodded.

“I like being the fun guys they can come to and hang out with. I don’t know if I could handle the responsibility of raising one, though.”

He looked over, and Jensen smiled at him, before leaning in and kissing his lips. He finally pulled back and rested his forehead against Jared’s.

“Good answer, counselor.”  
“Thanks, cowboy.”

Jensen laughed.

“There you are!”

The boys looked up to see Samantha Padalecki walking towards them, Grace on her hip and Aaron running beside her. Jared stood up, moving a now-sleeping Missy to his shoulder, and Aaron flung himself into Jensen’s arms. Jensen laughed and fell backwards, tickling Aaron’s sides. Samantha shook her head, a happy smile on her face.

“Come on. It’s time to cut the cake. And you, my son, have been hogging that sweet baby for way too long.”  
“Baby!”

Jared laughed, leaning over to bump his nose on Grace’s, making her giggle and clap her hands. Aaron came sprinting past them, and Jensen shook his head.

“Kid is a crazy person.”  
“Well, he gets it honest.”  
“No argument there.”

Samantha walked away, talking with Grace, and Jensen took Jared’s left hand, moving his thumb across the ring that hadn’t been taken off in nearly a year.

“You think they’ve forgiven us yet?”

Jared smiled, leaning over to kiss the top of Jensen’s head.

“Oh, they were taking bets on it, didn’t you know?”  
“What?”  
“Yeah. Matt told me he bet that a week after I came back we’d run off and get married, and he won the pot.”  
“What was the pot?”

Jared bit his lip.

“You know our family is full of high rollers, right?”  
“Jared.”  
“Let’s just say little miss Missy here is set for college.”  
“What?!”  
“Matt donated it! Not like he needed the money.”

Jensen gave an exasperated sigh, then stepped in front of Jared.

“If you had the chance to change it all, what would you do?”

Jared smiled, leaning in closer.

“I wouldn’t have waited ten years to find you again.”

Jensen closed the space between them, kissing Jared softly, yet soundly.

“Oh, come on! It’s _my_ wedding, guys! Stop stealing my thunder!”

Jared and Jensen broke apart on a laugh, looking over to JD, standing behind the cake with his arm around his new bride. Jensen took the baby from Jared’s arms, walking over and smiling at Chris Kane, who—surprisingly—was excellent behind a camera. Kane’s fiancé, Danneel, was standing near him, smiling over at Jared. 

He hadn’t put it together for a while, but once the redhead came to the ranch to rest for a while, then to help Sam with the baby, Jared realized where he’d seen her before. His nurse in the hospital, there on a temporary basis, had seen him and placed a call to JD, getting the ball rolling. And the rest was now history. 

Jared looked over the faces of his own family, who’d brought the news that Genevieve and Tahmoh were now engaged, moving in together, and happier than ever before. Everyone that worked on the ranch was there, including a few people from town, and when Jared looked towards the barn, he straightened a bit.

Speight stood there, dark glasses on his nose and a smile on his face as he saluted Jared. Jared shook his head with a laugh, then smiled, walking over to Jensen, who pulled him down and kissed his lips again.

“You good?”

Jared laughed, leaning his forehead on Jensen’s.

“Better than good. I’m home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Between Internet and computer issues and just life coming in, I was afraid this story might never be published. But here is it, and I really hope you enjoyed it. My first J2/RPF posting! Again, a HUGE thanks to my artist, txdevilorangel. You are so awesome, and I'm glad we're friends now. :) Thanks to the mods for putting on an EXCELLENT challenge, and thanks again for being so understanding!


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